Six Weeks
by FrankieFandom
Summary: Gap filler post 2.10 Not Like This. Casey's recovery from the Quincy fire accident.
1. One

**Six Weeks**

A/N _-_ I have been working on this for weeks and I have tried super hard to make it as accurate as possible but all my knowledge has come from years of watching ER, Grey's Anatomy and House and a lot of google-ing so apologies if any of it is wrong!

 **One**

 _Sunday 17th November 2013_  
 _Early Evening **  
**_

Matt Casey was oblivious to the world. He had no idea of the struggle to keep him alive in the back of the ambulance where he had two seizures. He didn't know that his friend had stayed with him in the back of the ambulance holding him down as his turnout coat was removed and his tops cut open. He didn't feel the electrode pads that were stuck to his skin. He didn't see the sickly sight of his own blood pooling down his chest and onto the back of the gurney.

He was completely unaware of his frantic entrance into the emergency room where he was transferred from the ambulance gurney to the emergency room bed and immediately surrounded by the awaiting neurosurgeon, ER doctors and nurses who assessed his injuries. He didn't feel the prick of the intravenous needle or the alcohol swab on his forearm before a needle drew blood. He couldn't hear the doctor calling his name as he used the Glasgow Coma Scale to assess his state of consciousness. He didn't know that there were now two drugs flowing around his system keeping him unconscious and his body relaxed. He was unaware of someone gently tilting his head back, the removal of the oxygen mask and insertion of the endotracheal tube which was hooked up to a mechanical ventilator. He didn't feel the cold edge of the scissors as the rest of his clothes were removed. He wasn't aware of the CT scan results that the neurosurgeon held in his hands as he called for the operating room to be prepped for a sub occipital craniotomy.

He was oblivious of his 51 family waiting for any news as he was transferred up from the emergency room to the pre op area where he remained unaware as his airway and ventilation were assessed again and the pre op nurse performed another GCS test and cleaned the sticky blood off his body and head. He didn't notice the change in temperature when he was moved into the operating room and placed on his right side. He didn't feel the pressure on his head as it was clamped into position. He had no idea about the arrival of the anaesthetist who administered the general anaesthetic. He wasn't aware of Gabriella Dawson standing outside the operating room until she was led away. He didn't feel the vibration of the clippers as they cut a small path through his hair at the base of his skull. He was unaware of the insertion of the lumbar drain in his lower back.

He was blissfully unaware how close he was to facing death before the surgeon even managed to open up his skull to remove the clot.

He was oblivious to the skilful hands of the surgeon that carefully made an incision before making two small bur holes and then cutting the outline of the bone flap he was going to remove. He was unaware of the surgeons' use of the craniotome before removing the small bone flap from the base of his skull and placing into in the silver dish held by one of the nurses. He didn't know he was now lying in the operating room with his brain exposed after the surgeon had retracted the dura. He was unaware of the constant monitoring of his pupil reaction, heartbeat and oxygen levels as the surgeon removed the clot. He was unaware when the surgeon began to close up by removing the retractors and suturing the dura before placing the bone flap back and securing it before the incision area was sutured back together. He didn't feel a small hole bring drilled into his skull for the ICP catheter or the lumbar drain being removed. He was unaware of the white dressing and gauze that was wrapped around his head as he was moved from the operating room to the intensive care unit where he was kept on the ventilator and the ECG electrodes remained monitoring his heartrate. He was oblivious to the fact that he was now clothed in a hospital gown and was attached to further monitoring equipment and tubes, an arterial line monitoring his blood pressure, a Swan-Ganz catheter monitoring blood flow, an NG tube in his side removing any gastric juices and a catheter whilst the ICU staff regularly monitored his temperature, motor skills and airway.

He didn't see the shocked look on Gabriella Dawson's face as she saw him lying in the ICU looking vulnerable attached to all the monitors and equipment. He did feel her hand on his and heard her speaking softly to him, "Matt, baby, I love you, you're ok, you're going to be ok," he felt her squeeze his hand before she continued, "Matt, I have to go, we're not really allowed in here yet but I'll be back as soon as I can and all the others are waiting outside rooting for you. I love you," he heard her explain but he would not remember this visit nor would he remember the first time he opened his eyes whilst one of the nurses was checking his pupil reaction he looking around blearily before closing them again and becoming oblivious to the world once more.

He wouldn't remember the second or third time he woke up. Now the PAC and the intubation tube had been removed and he was now wearing a nasal cannula that irritated him every time the oxygen blew out of it. He didn't answer the nurses' questions the third time he woke up and just gazed blearily around as much he could, which wasn't much at all, he managed to view the white ceiling and glimpsed at the top of a few monitors before falling back into oblivion.

He would remember the fourth time he woke up.

There was a constant beeping noise echoing and penetrating his blissful unawareness of the world around him. He wanted to go back to that safe black oblivion, his head was pounding and his whole body aching. His eyelids felt heavy and when he finally managed to pry them open he wished he hadn't. He felt blinded by the bright whiteness that greeted him and his head throbbed once more and the constant _beep, beep, beep_ was enough to throw him over the edge. He tried to move, to get away from the all the noise and lights that were assaulting his senses but found himself trapped and started to panic. Pulling and pushing away from everything he was stopped by a heavy weight which only made him struggle further but soon his movements were slowing and his noticed right wrist hurting and then the oblivion that he knew so well took over.

He was unaware that his frantic movements had caused a fluster of ICU staff to run to his bed where they found him pulling at the wires and tubes he was attached to. He wasn't aware that he had managed to pull out the arterial line from his right wrist sending out a splatter of dark red blood. He didn't realise the weight that had been pressing on him was trying to stop him from hurting himself any further before another member of staff could administer a mild sedative. He wasn't aware of the decision made to place him under restraint in case he woke up again in the same manner.

He was aware of the presence of visitors at his bedside although he wouldn't be able to recall any of the one sided conversations they had when he woke again, which he did in the presence of a familiar face and thankfully without the panic and confusion he felt a few hours ago. His head felt like cotton wool and his eye lids were slow to open but when he did open his blurry eyes he found Kelly Severide sat on a stool at his bedside. As his eyes slowly adjusted to consciousness and his vision became clearer he looked around to see glass walls, monitors and IV lines, he moved his eyes downwards to survey what he was lying on, he felt like he was floating on a cloud, he saw white sheets and frowned in confusion when he saw padded tan coloured restraints over his pale skin.

"They said you panicked last time you woke up," Severides explained softly, he vaguely recollected the feeling of being trapped and surrounded that he felt when he woke up in the bright room, "The doc's just on his way," Severide finished smiling down at him.

He wanted to say something but didn't dare, his mouth felt like cotton wool, his lips dry and his throat felt like sandpaper, so he said nothing.

A man in a white coat suddenly appeared in his line of vision, "I'm Doctor Carter, I'm just going ask you a few quick things and then let you get back to resting," the doctor explained as he looked up at him with half lidded eyes, he hoped it was quick because he felt himself falling back into darkness he'd woken up from, the doctor continued speaking but he found it really difficult to follow him, suddenly he realised he should have answered something as the Doctor was looking down expectantly trying to get a response from him so he just frowned wondering what had been asked and the doctor repeated the question he didn't hear in the first place, "Do you know where you are?" he wanted to answer but he couldn't find the word, "Can you speak?" yes _,_ he thought but again he didn't say anything, "What's your name?" Matt, he thought he had replied but the words must not have left his lips as the doctor asked again and finally his lips parted and he responded although it was just a whisper to their ears.

"Good, Matt, can you squeeze my hands again please?" _'Again?'_ he thought, when had he asked that earlier? He felt the doctors' hands in his and squeezed. "Good, now move your toes for me," the doctor asked and he wriggled his toes. "Good, now I asked you to remember three words earlier, can you repeat them to me please?" What? he couldn't even remember being asked never mind remember the three words. His panic must have appeared on his face as he heard the doctor say sympathetically, "Don't worry."

He swallowed in an attempt to make his throat feel better and it achieved nothing but he suddenly saw a cup of water with a straw come into view and took a sip before he asked, "What happened?" as the words left his mouth they sounded foreign, they were slow and so quiet he could barely hear them.

"You had an accident," was the only response he got from the doctor standing above him.

"Am…Am I ok?" he stuttered out quietly and slowly. He had no idea what had happened, the last thing he could vaguely remember was sitting at his dining room table with Gabby.

"You're doing really well," the doctor assured him and he vaguely thought that it wasn't really a proper answer before he let the oblivion of sleep take over that had been threatening him since he had woken up.

 **TBC**


	2. Two

**Six Weeks**

A/N - I just want to say thank you very much for all your reviews and kind words! Wasn't expecting it at all! I hope you like this part! _  
_  
 **Two**

 _Monday 18th November 2013_  
 _Night **  
**_

The next time Matt Casey woke up he did so slowly. The first thing he noticed was the dull throbbing pain in his head. The second thing he noticed was the regular beeping that sounded like it was echoing from somewhere around him. Then as he became more aware the third thing he realised was that someone was saying his name. He decided to open his eyes to see who it was only to find the world he had woken up into was bright and blurry. He let his eyes close again having decided to fall back into the oblivion he'd woken from where there was no pain in his head, irritating noises or a brightness that only hurt his head even more. Just as he thought sleep would take over he heard his name again, couldn't they see he was trying to sleep? Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Go away _,_ he felt his lips part but heard no sound escape from them so he tried again but only managed an intelligible mumble.

"Matt? Matt? Open your eyes again," he heard the voice, it was much clearer this time and he opened his eyes once again, hoping that by doing so he would satisfy the voice and it would leave him alone. His vision was still blurry but he could tell from the fuzzy colours and shapes that there was a nurse stood over him. He blinked a few times trying to get a clearer view and slowly but surely his vision got clearer.

The nurse above him was talking but he was paying no attention to her words as he looked blearily around to get his bearings. Hospital. And then he remembered the doctor telling him there'd been an accident. He remembered Severide and he remembered the restraints. He glanced down at his body as best he could to find the restraints had gone and scanning around again he saw that Severide was also gone.

"Matt? Can you hear me?" the voice he had been ignoring asked. Yes, he thought but he only managed to produce a mumbled response to her query. A clear cup with a straw was suddenly in front of him, "Here, take a few slow sips. Your throat will be a bit sore still." A bit sore? He thought that was the understatement of the century. His throat felt raw like sandpaper. The straw was placed gently to his dry lips and he took it as a cue to drink. He took a few sips and the water felt like ice traveling down his throat so he stopped and it was taken away.

"Can you remember where you are Matt?" the nurse asked him slowly and he wanted to say yes but he didn't trust his body to respond to his commands after his previous attempts to answer her queries. He attempted to nod but as he moved his head up and down slowly he suddenly realised that had been a massive mistake. He grabbed his stomach in an attempt to stem the nausea that had rapidly developed. He tried to curl in on himself but he only managed to tangle himself up on the hospital bed. It felt as if his stomach was being squeezed. He felt tears roll down his cheeks as his eyes began to water. The queasy feeling would not subside. He felt the nurse placed her hand on his right shoulder comfortingly and through his watering eyes he saw her speaking to him but he heard only snippets, "…pass …just… breaths… it… soon… deep…" and then all of a sudden his stomach lurched and it's meagre contents came up and felt his cheeks redden as he felt the sick on his chin and noticed it on the front of his hospital gown. He continued to gag on the bile that was being forced out, its acidity stung at his throat. There was no let up. He felt his stomach continue to heave but nothing came out and his lungs began to burn. He started to panic as he found it harder and harder to catch a breath as his stomach kept attempting to rid his body of all its contents as he continued dry retching. From the corner of his eye he noticed a familiar man in a white coat had arrived and saw the nurse emptying a syringe into the IV port. Soon the cramps in his stomach dissipated, he relaxed and his breathing slowed back down. He closed his eyes and welcomed back the blissful oblivion of sleep.

The fuzziness that had clouded his head the previous times he had woken up had lessened when he heard the nurses' familiar voice drag him from the safe comforting world of sleep. Thankfully there was no nausea but his throat was still felt sore, his body ached and the persistent headache he discovered each time he woke was still there although this time he felt more able and more determined to open his eyes and speak. He wanted to know what had happened, he didn't know if anyone else was hurt, he vaguely remembered hearing Dawson's voice and he remembered Severide had been sat at his bedside earlier. Earlier? Matt wondered. He didn't how long he had been here, what day it was or even the time. Was it day or night? He suddenly felt very out of control and lost.

He opened his eyes quickly only to be assaulted by the brightness of florescent lighting that penetrated his blurry vision making his head throb sharply. As his vision cleared he saw the same nurse that had previously woken him up. "Hey there Matt," she smiled down to him and spoke in a tone that made him wonder if she had woken him up many more times than he could remember which only made him feel more out of control and disorientated.

"H…Hi," he managed to stutter out. It had been a little more than a whisper to his own ears but it made the nurses' smile spread further across her face and he frowned wondering why.

"That's the first time you've said hello to me, honey," She smiled down at him again, she reminded him of Hallie's mum who had been like a mother hen, always fussing and trying to take care of him and overfeeding both him and her daughter every time they went to visit but his thoughts were interrupted when the nurse spoke again, "I'm just going to ask a few questions, ok?" She smiled warmly down at him and began, "Do you remember where you are?"

His attention was already waning but he managed to reply, "Hospital… still," the words were still nothing more than a whisper and his throat grated when he spoke. The nurse smiled and nodded in response and before she could ask anything else he spoke up, "How… how long?"

"About 24 hours, it's nearly 11pm, Wednesday," she told him. He smiled slightly in response as he took the answer in and tried to recall what had happened but the last memory he had before the woke up here was sitting at his dining room table having lunch with Gabby, he remembered the conversation had be fraught but couldn't remember what they had been talking about.

His thoughts were interrupted once again, "Can you remember these three words for me please? House, dog, blue," he frowned, of course he could, she continued, "Ok can you squeeze my hands?" He did as he was asked although his grip felt weak and his movements slow. "And move your toes?" he looked down at his feet, which were hidden under the bed sheet and a pale blue blanket, and wiggled his toes. "Good, Matt," she smiled, "Now, I asked you to remember three words. Can you tell me what they were?"

He remembered and began quietly, "House…" but suddenly he realised he couldn't recall the other words; he could have sworn he had remembered them. He could remember her asking him to remember them but now his mind was drawing blanks. He was frustrated and embarrassed at himself, what was wrong with him? He recalled throwing up over himself in front of her earlier and now he couldn't even remember what she had told him. As these thoughts ran through his head his eyelids began getting heavier and heavier but he didn't want to sleep, he wanted to know what had happened. However now he felt much more worn out he found it was even more difficult to form the words he wanted but eventually his body responded to his commands and his lips parted, "What…what happened?" he stuttered out almost inaudibly.

"A ceiling collapsed, you fractured your skull and had an epidural haematoma," she replied and he frowned, he had no idea what that was but it didn't sound good and the nurse must have seen his confusion and as he moved his hand to his head, where he felt it covered in a bandage, she explained simply to him, "It's where blood forms between your skull and your brain, like a bruise," he sighed deeply taking in how serious his injuries were and now realising he must have been on shift he wondered about the others.

"Everyone else?" he asked with concern, his whispered words slurred together in his exhausted state.

She shook her head and said, "No other firefighters were brought in with you and you've not been left alone during any of the visiting hours." Thank God _,_ he thought, he was glad no one else had been hurt but he was annoyed that he couldn't remember anything at all about the accident or even about the shift.

He was finding it harder and harder to fight off the darkness that threatened to take over during the majority of the conversation and he heard himself mumble, "I don't remember," but if she replied he would never know as his eye lids fell shut and he let himself succumb to sleep.

 **TBC**


	3. Three

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you for your reviews! I feel a little cruel for keeping poor Casey awake for this whole chapter!

 **Three**

 _Tuesday 19th November 2013_  
 _Morning **  
**_

Waking up seemed much easier as Casey opened his eyes to find himself in the now familiar setting of the ICU. His vision still started off blurrily and his head still felt like cotton wool but the temptation to stay in the safe clutches of sleep had lessened considerably. The nurse had woken him up at regular intervals throughout the night and let him know the time whilst doing so as he requested it each time after he answered questions for the neuro checks she performed. Knowing the time helped him feel a lot less disoriented each time he woke now that he realised he wasn't missing big chunks of time although his head still felt cloudy and his memories were very hazy.

"Morning Matt," the nurse smiled down at him and he through half lidded eyes he saw she was holding the cup of water and straw in front of him. He took a few sips. His throat still felt very tender and sore but it was now much easier to swallow. The cup was taken away, "it's just after 7:30am and your doctor will be here shortly to check on you and explain anything if you have any questions but I'm fairly certain you'll be allowed out of the ICU today," she said softly to him, "And you've already got some visitors outside waiting to see you but that will have to wait for now."

"…K," he replied quietly, he may have started to find that waking up was much easier but staying awake was going to be another matter, he felt exhausted from just keeping his eyes open.

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" she asked and he opened his eyes again, not that he could remember closing them; she was stood above him smiling.

"Erm… just tired I guess," in truth he felt exhausted, sore and disoriented. The nasal cannula was still irritating as it puffed oxygen up and now that he was more awake than he had ever been before he was aware of the various needles and tubes going in and out of his body. He wanted to scratch at the wires sticking to his chest but his arms felt too weak to move. His head felt heavy but he wasn't sure if it was the bandages wrapped around it or the medication he was being given that made him feel like he was floating on a cloud rather than lying on a hospital bed. The IV line on the top of his hand felt uncomfortable and tender. There was a bruise under the arterial line on the underside of his left wrist, a small bandage of his right wrist where the arterial had previously been before he had pulled it out in his disorientated state and embarrassingly he could feel a catheter snaking up into his body. He could feel the pangs of nausea from his stomach so he decided it was going to be best to stay as still as possible although he did want to get a better view of the room he had been lying in for more than a day.

"I'm going to move the bed so you're sat up a little more and it'll give you a bit more to see than mainly just the ceiling!" Slowly and gently the bed was adjusted bringing him to a half lying and half upright position. It was nice to see more of the room he was in which distracted him from falling back to sleep as he glanced around. He had a better view of all the various monitors and equipment in the room and could see a few other nurses and patients, most of the other patients looked to be asleep. He saw a doctor he recognise walk into the room through some sliding glass doors. The doctor began walking over to his side when he saw he was awake and the nurse was adjusted his pillow. Picking up the chart at the end of his bed he smiled at him and said, "It's nice to see you awake Matt," the doctor looked through the chart and looked at the monitors, "Have you felt nauseous at all like last night if you remember?" he certainly did remember and was thankful he didn't feel that bad.

"A little," he began, "Not like before," his voice still sounded strange to his own ears. It was slurred and quiet, a bit like on the rare occasions he had been very drunk.

"It can be a side effect of the anticonvulsants but you'll stay on them for the next few weeks at least," anticonvulsants? It made him think of epilepsy. He couldn't do his job if they thought he was going to have a seizure. He thought was going to be ok now that he was getting better at waking up and he hadn't even thought about any of this effecting work though he suspected he just hadn't been aware enough.

"Work?" he asked quietly, hoping the one worded question would suffice.

"Everything is looking really good. I'm transferring you out of here to a normal room and we'll start reducing some of your meds and without any complications you should be home in a few days, work will be longer, at the moment I would say around six to eight weeks for full duty," he was thankful the doctor sounded so optimistic but the six to eight weeks sounded like such a long time to be out of work although he supposed he should just be relieved he got to go back.

He suddenly realised the doctor was looking expectantly at him, "Huh?" he said understanding that his attention must have wondered off.

"Do you remember the accident at all?" he couldn't. Which he thought wasn't good. What if the doctor would change his mind about getting back to full duty? But there was no way he could pull off lying about something he couldn't remember, or was there?

"Erm… everything's just hazy I guess," he began, and it wasn't a lie, everything was hazy, he thought he remembered something but then the memory disappeared, or maybe it hadn't been there in first place he wondered, but he could remember all his training, he hadn't woken up and just forgotten how to do his job so he didn't see why it would matter if the last thing he remembered was being sat in his dining room with Dawson talking about... Oh God! He thought, the firehouse, it was going to be their last shift… But his panicked thoughts were interrupted when he heard the doctor saying his name abruptly, "Sorry," he mumbled realising he must have been ignoring him.

"I was saying your concussion has likely caused your memories of the accident or even of the whole day to become quite jumbled but it should clear up in time, what's the last thing you remembered clearly?" the doctor asked.

"Day before shift," …or the day before that, he wanted to add because he was a hundred percent sure but he didn't think it would make much difference.

"Ok let me know if you struggle remembering anything but I'll let you get some rest now," he said and as an afterthought he continued and asked, "Unless you wanted a quick visit from one of your friends that I walked past on my in? Strictly it's not allowed but since you're awake at the moment I don't see the harm," he smiled down at him.

"Ok," he replied although Matt wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to stay awake it would be nice to see a similar face.

Severide was suddenly sat on a stool on the right hand side of his hospital bed. He hadn't noticed his friend enter the ICU and walk over to his bedside, he must have drifted off.

"Hey buddy," Severide greeted him, "I hear you're getting out of here later, well, this room anyway," he added.

He was slow to respond because he was taking in his friends' appearance, he looked tired and hadn't styled his hair like he usually did. "Yeah. Get to look at different walls," he slurred out smiling at his friend.

"You on some good drugs at least?" He saw Severide smirking when asked this.

He assumed he must be on some pretty good narcotics to be feeling like he did, "…floating," the word slipped out his mouth before his brain could stop it but he was too tired to be embarrassed.

Severide laughed, "That's a yes then!"

"Mmmm… So don't ask me any…" but then he forgot was he was trying to say and started to drift back off to sleep only to have his name called loudly and he opened his eyes to see Severide looking at him with concern, "Huh?"

"I was saying the mum and her baby are being released later today," Matt had no idea what his friend was talking about but from the tone of his voice deduced it was a good thing.

"That's… that's good," he said steadily.

"Yeah. You know you're an idiot right? I mean it'll be a great story for the ladies but you're an idiot," Severide joked, "but I would have done the same thing."

"Guess we're both…" it was getting more and more difficult to make his words clear and understandable now that he had been awake for so long, "…both idiots then."

"Dawson's outside but we're only allowed in here one at a time so I'll go and get her ok?" Severide left after Matt mumbled in response. He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to keep his eyes open.

"Hey baby," Dawson greeted him and took his hand. She looked equally as tired as Severide, "It's nice to you awake, I've been so worried," she was squeezing his hand comfortingly.

"…'mfine," he slurred together looking up her with his eyes barely open.

He could see that Dawson had started to say something but he finally lost his battle with unconsciousness and drifted off to sleep with his hand being held lovingly.

 **TBC**


	4. Four

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Just a little thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed! Didn't think there would be so many of you!

 **Four**

 _Tuesday 19th November 2013_  
 _Early afternoon **  
**_

Casey slowly became aware of his new surroundings when he woke up. The room was a pale yellow with the exception of the left hand wall which was made up of two separate glass panels, there was a clear sliding door the furthest point away from him. There was another door on the right of the wall adjacent to his hospital bed; this door was solid compared to the sliding door that led to the corridor. There was no window, only a painting where one would have thought a window would be though he realised he must be in the centre of the hospital and the painting was a poor replacement for the outside world. He find himself half sitting and half lying so after looking down at the side of his bed he pressed the bed controls to sit up a little more. His arm and hand felt weak and as he moved them to adjust the bed. He could still feel the catheter sitting uncomfortably within him but the other tube that had previously snaked its way from under the covers had been removed.

"You fell asleep on me this morning," he heard Dawson's voice come from his far right and immediately regretted moving his head round quickly to see her. He felt a sharp pain in his neck and the world seemed to shift in front of his eyes for a moment before it righted itself again.

"Sorry," he coughed out, his throat was still dry and sore and he licked his dry lips. Dawson moved the stool she was sat on closer to him and went to pass him a cup of water from the side. However once it was in his weak hand she let go it began to slip from his grip before he even brought it to his parched lips. She grabbed it just before all the cold water could have crashed down onto his right leg but not just in time for some of it to splash out onto the crisp white sheet and pale blue blanket that was covering his weak form. "Sorry," he mumbled, embarrassed with himself.

"No, no, I'm sorry, I just didn't think," she said quickly but he couldn't look at her and felt redness rise in his cheeks, "Here," this time she held the water cup in front of his mouth so he could take a sip.

"No, I've got it," he spoke firmly trying to hide his embarrassment and he slowly moved his right arm up to take the cup. He wrapped his hand around it shakily and Dawson protested but without her help he brought the cup to his lips and drank a few sips. He was thankful she took the cup away and placed it on the side for him as he lay his arm back down.

"You'll get back to normal soon, everything will just a bit… off. Your body's gone through a lot and you've been stuck in bed for nearly 36 hours or so…" he could tell that she was being careful with her words but she knew what he was thinking. He felt so weak. She smiled and continued, "You already a look a lot better, you…" he saw her struggling for her words and fighting against tears as she took his hand, "I was so worried…"

"Hey, come on, I'm all right, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," he said to reassure her; concerned he'd caused her to become so upset.

She laughed awkwardly, still holding his hand as if he might vanish, "I should be comforting you," he shook his head ever so slightly in response as he remembered the previous nausea that had brought on.

Changing the subject to lighten the mood and attempt to cheer Dawson up he grinned, "So how badly do I need to shave?"

She laughed again, he loved hearing her laugh, "Actually I kind of like it," she smiled rubbing his hand comfortingly before letting go.

"Oh yeah?" his words had begun to slur with tiredness already, but he had lasted longer than in any previous conversation he'd had which didn't make him feel so bad, "Doesn't really work with lieutenant look though," he joked.

She smiled down at him, "What? Your nerdy lieutenant look?"

He frowned, smiling, "I thought it was hot lieutenant?"

"Well you do look hotter now you don't have a wire sticking out your head," she smiled but he frowned, he didn't know what she was talking about and he was suddenly thinking of all the images he'd seen on medical programmes on TV.

"Gabby," he began slowly and without looking her, "My… erm… my hair?" he was embarrassed to ask and he was right, as soon as the words slipped out his mouth he realised how vain it sounded and he cringed inwardly.

"Is still there!" she smiled at him and then laughed at his embarrassment, "Didn't realise you were so vain Matt Casey!" she said jokingly, or so he hoped.

"Sorry," he muttered tiredly.

She was still talking but he wasn't paying any attention until he heard her speak sharply, "Stop that!" which brought his attention back to her. She looked concerned and he had no idea why.

"Huh?" he mumbled and she indicated to his hands. He looked down to find his left hand had been unconsciously scratching away around the IV port on the top of his right hand. The skin surrounding the tape that had started to peel up, presumably from where he had be fiddling with it, had turned a darker shade of pink from being irritated, "Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Are you ok? I seemed to lose you back there…" she said and concern radiated out her voice.

"Yeah of course," he smiled to reassure her, he didn't want to upset her again, "Just tired I guess, I think he said the drugs won't be helping with that or something…." He trailed off not really sure what he was saying anymore. His head was starting to throb so he closed his eyes to drown out the light just as he saw Dawson glance at the IV bags hanging up on his right hand side.

"Yeah, they're reducing the narcotics now though so you'll feel less drowsy soon hopefully," he heard her explaining.

"Less floaty?" he mumbled because it was the best way he could describe how he felt each time he'd woken up.

"Yeah Matt, less floaty," he could tell she was grinning when she replied.

"Hmmm I dunno, it is quite nice," he was definitely tired now as the words just kept falling out his mouth that he'd usually never let out, however it was true, especially compared to the nausea and sickness he had experienced the cotton wool feeling that enveloped his head was actually quite pleasant even if it did make the world seem slow.

"Never did drugs in high school, did you?" he opened his eyes to find her grinning as she asked.

"Course not…" he frowned, wondering, "Why? Did you?" he smiled and when she didn't respond, "You did? Didn't you?" he slurred out smiling at the image of a teenaged Dawson getting high, "Doesyourbrotherknow?" he didn't realise his words were becoming less and less understandable as his tiredness overtook him.

"No," she smiled sheepishly down at him, "And he will never know," she said firmly and the continued, "You should get some more sleep baby," she told him; he figured she must have noticed he'd started to lag or she just wanted to avoid divulging her past anymore.

"All I've isn't been doing is sleeping?" he said completely unaware of his mistakes.

"I think you need to sleep Matt," she said softly. It was true he was now exhausted and his head was still throbbing so he decided to concede.

'Yes mum,' he opened his lips to say but only an incomprehensible sound came out before he drifted of the sleep.

The next time he woke up there was a nurse, not the one of the from ICU he noted, stood at the end of his bed marking something down in his chart which she slotted back into the end of the bed when she noticed he was awake, "Hi, Matt, my name's Julia, how are you feeling? Up for sitting up over the side of the bed? We need to get you up and about," she smiled warmly but it took a few moments for his brain to register everything she had just said as he was only just becoming fully aware after his short sleep, although like Dawson had said he was beginning to feel a lot less drowsy and thinking of Dawson he looked around to see that she was no longer with him, "I sent your friends home a couple of hours ago but they can come back this evening," she explained to him.

After coughing to clear his throat, which now felt notably better, he asked for the time and was shocked to hear it was already 4pm. She moved back his bed sheets, explaining she was going to remove the catheter; he turned his head away from her, to left, and closed his eyes tightly until she said, "There we are, all done," and he opened his eyes once more.

"Can I get out of this bed now?" he smiled at her looking forward to the prospect of being allowed to get up as surely it meant he was closing to getting out of here and going home.

She nodded and collapsed the right hand side of the bed down, "Yes, slowly though. Just swing your legs over the side and give it a moment, I don't want you fainting on me fireman," she finished smiling and Matt did as she said. He slowly swung both his legs over the right hand side of the bed and pushed himself upright with his arms, mindful of the IV still attached. It took a few moments for the world to stop swaying, "How are you doing Matt? Are you dizzy?" he heard her ask with concern.

"I'm fine," the words came out sharper than he had intended, "Sorry."

"It's fine, just take it slowly, you're body's been through a lot and you've been lying down for nearly 48 hours, ok?" he nodded slowly in response before using his arms to push himself off the bed and put most his weight onto his feet. He felt a little nauseous but like she had said, he had been lying down for nearly two whole days. He shifted his weight and moved his arms off the bed where they had been steadying him, "Really good," the nurse praised him and continued, "Can you take a few steps?" she moved the IV pole to him for him to grip before he could take a steps and he did slowly and slightly clumsily after not having moved for so long but he did it nonetheless. He was surprised how weak he felt after such a short time here and it made him more determined to get out of the hospital. He didn't want to just be lying around not went his body felt as useless as it did right now. His thoughts were interrupted and he realised he was stood with his weight heavily leaning on the IV pole with the nurse close by if he needed her, "That's really good Matt, ready to turn back and get back on the bed again? We're just gonna do short bursts for a bit to get you up and about again."

He got back onto the bed again and under the covers. He honestly felt exhausted again. "So I can get up when I want now?" he asked, the next time he got up he didn't fancy having an audience, as lovely as nurse was he found the whole situation quite embarrassing even though in the back of his mind he knew it could be worse, he'd heard of people losing motor function or having to relearn the basics like talking and reading. He was one of the lucky ones.

She nodded smiling, "Yeah, just don't do too much too soon, you're doing remarkably well after what happened and you wouldn't want to go back a step. You've been the talk of the hospital for the last two days!" What? The question nearly slipped out his lips as he frowned wondering why anyone would be talking about, she must have seen his confusion and explained, "Saving that baby just in time, her and her mum left the hospital today, they're both fine! You're a hero, you've had all the nurses gossiping and some of the doctors," she smiled as she explained.

"Oh…" he began but he could feel himself reddening slightly at the thought of being the subject of gossip, "…just doing my job," not that he could remember what he had done, he thought glumly.

"Well I think you're a hero," she smiled, "Now though, food? It's nearly dinner time but I can't imagine you want a whole meal straight away so how about some soup and bread or just some cereal? Either of those options tempt you?"

"Erm cereal I guess? I'm not hungry?" he questioned as he now realised he hadn't eaten at all and thought it was odd he hadn't been hungry.

"It's normal, don't worry, your appetite will come back and you'll be begging everyone you know to sneak in a McDonalds for you!" she joked; she had a lovely way of making him feel at ease despite the fact that he was out of his comfort zone being so out of control of everything whilst he was stuck here, it felt disorienting to him but the nurse did make him feel much better with her conversation and her warmness.

He was starting to feel the pangs of sleep once more, much quicker than the previous time he had woken up, but he thought it must have been his little adventure out of the comfort of the hospital bed that had exhausted him sooner.

"Matt?" he heard his name being called sharply and realised he'd lost his attention on what the nurse was saying, he must stop doing that he thought.

"Sorry, what?" his words came out slurred with tiredness.

"Can you just sit up a little, I'm just gonna change the bandage," she explained and he moved his head off the pillow for her and sat still as she took off tensor bandage that at been covering the incision site and most of his hair, "The incision site is still looking good, no signs of infection," she said and he wondered whether she was just saying out loud or to him, either way he didn't respond and he felt her place a smaller bandage just over the incision site, "There we go, you can put your head back down, hun," he did and almost immediately drifted off to sleep.

 **TBC**


	5. Five

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you all again to everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed!

 **Five**

 _Tuesday 19th November 2013_  
 _Early evening **  
**_

As Casey woke up he became aware of another presence in the room, he had become accustomed to this as the hospital staff routinely checked on him so he decided to keep his eyes closed a little longer, his head no longer felt like it had been stuff with cotton wool and there was only a dull ache, his body was sore but there was no pain even though he no longer felt like he was floating on a cloud which must have meant they'd reduced his morphine. He was glad of that, as it had clouded his thoughts and slowed his mind. As he became more and more aware he realised he was going to have to open his eyes and face the world; he needed the bathroom. He opened his eyes. His vision was blurry.

"Your mum's just left," he heard Severide say bluntly and blurrily saw him reach for the water cup but he moved his head ever so slightly to indicate he didn't want any. His throat was still tender but he didn't want more fluid before he used the bathroom.

"Oh… erm… what's the time?" he asked and his friend indicated for him to look at the wall on his right hand side where there was now a clock hanging in replacement of the painting, his vision was still a little blurry but he could tell it was nearly 8pm just from the large hands on the white clock, he had only been asleep for a couple of hours. After glancing at the clock he noticed a few items from home, a couple of framed photographs, some books, and magazines. A couple of his pillows and throw now decorated the sofa chair in the upper right corner of the room and his hospital issue blanket had been changed to the brown one he usually kept at the end of his bed. The room felt a lot friendlier. As he was lying there looking around he was still uncomfortably aware of his full bladder and slowly sat up.

"What are you doing?" Severide asked when he slowly started to sit up.

"Bathroom," he answered in a hushed tone as he pushed the covers off and move the side of the bed down. However, he struggled with the side of the bed, he still felt incredibly weak and his right wrist was still tender. Fortunately Severide saw this and without saying anything put the side of the bed down so that he would be able slide off it and make his way to the bathroom. It sounded easier than it was. Very slowly he moved his legs over the side of the bed and put most of his weight onto his arms so he was ready slide off and steady himself, all whilst being mindful of the IV still on his right wrist; he was thankful that all the other wires and tubes had gone.

"You ok?" Severide asked him carefully as he sat on the edge of the bed looking at the floor waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"Fine," he replied through gritted teeth and he looked up from the floor to see that Severide had moved the IV pole so it was next to him. He grabbed it and shifted most of his weight from his arms to his feet and slid himself of the bed. His world grew dizzy once more but quickly righted itself and he slowly moved to the small bathroom in the far right hand corner of the room.

Once in the bathroom, where there was a small shower, toilet and a counter and sink, he used the IV pole to hold himself upright as he used the facilities and after washing his hands he placed them on the edge of small counter to stop him from falling. He had been stood up for a while now and his legs felt weak. Leaning on the counter he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked awful. There were dark shadows underneath his eyes, some bruising on the left hand side of his face which was tender to the touch. He ran his hand over the stubble that had grown and then felt the small gauze pad at the back of his head. He put his left hand back down to steady himself and continued to stare at the reflection in the mirror. He could tell he had already lost some weight. His hair was sticking up and his skin was pale making the bruising stand out even more. His lips were chapped and he ran his tongue over them and as he did realised his mouth felt horrid and he looked around for some toiletries. Thankfully there were a few items sitting on the far left hand side of the sink counter and he wondered if Severide had picked them up for him. As he was finished off brushing his teeth he heard his friend knocking at the door and calling his name. "Matt? Come on, I'll open the door if you don't reply…" What? He thought, he hadn't heard him calling his name before, he didn't think he could have got so distracted just by looking in the mirror.

"Sorry… I'm done," he said quietly and a little confused still wondering how long Severide had been calling his name.

Severide must have taken his response as a que to open the bathroom door and enter as he soon felt an arm on his shoulder steadying him, "Come on, before you fall over," he heard him say gently and looked round slowly to see his pleading eyes and frowned, "You must have been stood here for a good 10 minutes, Case."

After a moment he cleared his throat and said simply, "Oh yeah, sorry," he didn't want to let on the fact he thought he may have blacked out for a moment. As he went to grab the IV pole Severide remained supporting him, "I got it," he said to his friend and shrugged to remove the assistance, he didn't want help for the few metres back to the bed.

Back on the bed and under the covers he sighed frustrated at how tired and weak he felt.

"Case?" Severide asked him with concern.

He wasn't going to admit any of his inner thoughts so just said, "I really need to shave don't I?" his voice had improved a lot since first waking up but he was still finding the act of staying awake and alert exhausting. He really just wanted to be alone right now.

"Another time, or if you're desperate I can do it now?" Severide suggested but he just frowned in response, no way was he going to have someone, especially someone he worked with, help him shave. Severide just shrugged in response and then explained dinner had been left for him whilst he was asleep earlier and indicated the dry bowl of cereal and small jug of milk which he presumed would now be disgustingly warm.

His eyes were growing tired so he shut them off from the bright lights of the room, "Not hungry," he replied and then remembered his friend mentioning his mother when he woke up, "Did you say my mum was here?"

"Yeah," Severide began and continued, "She erm… said she had to be somewhere though so she left before you woke," he sounded uncomfortable talking about his mum.

"Kay," he said tiredly and kept his eyes closed but frowned wondering how she'd found out, he hadn't spoken to her since she moved out his house so he opened his eyes and added, "Why?"

"Erm… I'm not sure, she just said had to leave," Severide frowned looking concerned.

"No, sorry, I mean why was she here?" He explained.

"Oh I thought Dawson told you earlier…" Severide began, "It took use a while to get hold of her but Dawson and your sister got through to her eventually and your doctor explained everything to her when she got here."

He didn't think Severides response really answer his question but accepted it and said lamely, "Oh, right."

"I'm sure she'll come back again if that's what you want?" Severide questioned.

"Oh, no, it's not that… I just didn't expect it I guess," he said still finding a visit from his mother odd but he guessed that's what a normal mum would done in a situation like this but he was so used to just having his firehouse family

"You sure you're not hungry?" Severide probed.

"Yeah… I mean I know I should have something," he remembered his conversation with the nurse earlier as he eyed the bowl of dry cereal and small jug of milk with distaste, "But I'm just not hungry."

"I can go and get something from the cafeteria or the shop if you fancy something else? I dunno, chocolate milk or something? Would be nicer for your throat. Maybe some soup?" Severide suggested.

"I don't want anything," he said with his voice raised, he was sure he would have yelled if his throat hadn't still been tender. He immediately regretted his actions when he saw the look on his friend's face, who had only been trying to help and make things easier for him. "I'm sorry," he admitted quietly, embarrassed at his little outburst.

"It's fine, don't worry," Severide replied but Matt could tell he was worried.

He sighed and spoke quietly, "No, it's not, being stuck here doesn't mean I have the right yell at you for trying to help…"

"Forget it Matt," Severide interrupted him and then thankfully changed the subject, "Everyone's outside and want to come and see you and we're all on shift tomorrow so the nurses will just have to let us ignore the visiting rules!" Matt really didn't like the idea of everyone seeing him like this, he was so grateful that they all cared so much but he looked and felt awful. He realised tiredness must have turned his thoughts into an open book as Severide then said, "They really want to see you, everyone's been worried."

He conceded, "Sure," he replied smiling wearily. Whilst Severide left the room to fetch everyone he used to bed controls to position himself more upright and then pulled the blanket higher up to cover most his chest.

What had previously seemed like quite a large room seemed much smaller when everyone from squad and truck, followed by Dawson, Shay and Boden, entered and surrounded his bed. He felt a little self-conscious and wasn't sure what to say to everyone at first but he needn't of worried as they all greeted him, saying they were glad he was well, and everything felt normal. "Thanks guys, really," he said smiling, he was glad they were here, they made everything seem much more jovial and he regretted even thinking that he didn't want to see anyone else.

"We're just glad you're doing well Lieutenant," Herrmann said earnestly, "you need anything, you let us know all right?" He smiled in response and then saw Dawson place a large box on the table, he frowned.

"You've got a lot of cards and gifts Casey," Mouch explained.

"Really?" he said and his surprise as evident as Dawson nodded smiling enthusiastically as she and Shay began unloading the box. Soon his room was full of get well cards, flowers and a few gifts. He eyed the small plastic fire engine.

"Thought you'd miss your truck," Shay said grinning and the others laughed.

"Funny," he said smiling.

"Yeah when you get bored you can play with it… I bet the ladders even move so it'll be just like your truck," Severide joked.

"Well you don't see many toy squad rigs; truck is obviously more fun," he joked and appreciated how normal everything seemed right now despite feeling weak and exhausted and being stuck in hospital. He glanced around tiredly at everyone, they were chatting away amongst themselves, he felt too tired and his mind kept drifting away when he tried to keep up with the chatter but he was glad for the company.

"Right everyone let's move out and leave him be!" Boden announced before everyone began filling out the room. He asked his chief to stay a moment longer and Severide also lingered behind.

"Forgot to give you this," Severide placed a mini iPod on the table, "Sorted it for Shay when she was stuck here after her head injury, she said it easier than watching TV straight away," He explained, "Oh and don't worry I changed the music! And it's full of audiobooks! And we'll pop in when we can tomorrow."

"Thanks Sev," he said, trying not to slur his words because sleep felt so close again. Severide left leaving him alone with Chief Boden, "Doc says six to eight weeks so I'll be back in six Chief," he smiled tiredly, his body wanting nothing more than to close his eyes and sleep again but he was determined to speak.

"You take all the time you need, sounds like you've been really lucky, I've got a good relief Lieutenant coming in so I don't want you to be worrying about that. Your truck will be waiting for you when you're ready to come back, you just keep me updated and let me know if there's anything you need," Boden explained.

"The firehouse?" he questioned simply, he didn't want anyone to realise what he could or couldn't remember before the accident and this seemed like a perfect way to enquire about the house as it seemed everyone was going to back to shift as normal tomorrow.

"It's all official, we're not being closed down," Boden replied and Matt was happy as it didn't seem like his chief was concerned that he'd asked about it the status of the firehouse.

"Good," he replied quietly.

"Well, I'm going to leave you so you can get some rest, just call me if you need anything," Boden said and indicated to his mobile phone which was sat next to the iPod. "Get some rest; you look like you need it." And Boden left leaving him to adjust his bed so it was nearly flat and before closing his eyes he slowly and carefully moved onto his right hand side and pulled the covers up to his chin and left just his right hand with the IV lying out of his homemade cocoon.

 **TBC**


	6. Six

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you for your reviews! They're really appreciated!

 **Six**

 _Wednesday 20th November 2013_  
 _Early morning **  
**_

Casey wasn't aware of what had caused such an abrupt awakening. He opened his eyes blearily to see what had caused his sudden consciousness; he was still on his right hand side cocooned under the white sheet and his blanket. As soon as his eyes were open the light was so startlingly bright that it felt like it burned his retinas. He clamped them shut and suddenly all he knew was the feeling that his head was being crushed. It was throbbing so fiercely he felt nauseous. He curled in on himself but ended up tangling himself in the bed covers and he felt the sharp pull of the IV line in his hand. With his eyes squeezed shut he put his hands round his head as if it would help stop the pain. It was all too much. He slammed his hand on the side of the bed hoping he would hit the nurses call button.

Thankfully it worked and he heard his hospital room door slide open and the quick patter of steps over to his bed which sounded deafening to his throbbing head, next he felt a hand on his left shoulder, "Matt, take some slow deep breaths for me, you're ok," a soothing voice penetrated his aching head, he didn't realise that his breaths were coming in and out shortly and rapidly, no wonder his chest had started to ache, so he listened to the calming voice and just concentrated on breathing normally whilst the hand that had been placed on his shoulder was now comfortingly circling his back. He heard orders being called, the sharpness of all the voices stung his ears making his head throb even more, "10mg morphine…" everything seemed to be taking so long, he wished he could just fall back into the painless black abyss that was unconsciousness. He heard more shuffling, there must have been at least two people in his room but he didn't dare open his eyes to find out.

The next thing he knew was someone was calling his name, "Matt? Matt can you open your eyes, honey?" he recognised the sweet voice now and realised it was Julia, the nurse he'd spoken to before, "The lights are off and the pain killer will be starting to work so just open your eyes for me, honey," he did as he was told and very slowly opened his eyes ever so slightly. Once he realised the darkness of the room didn't cause him the pain that the bright lights had done previously he opened them fully. With his eyes now open, and still curled up on his right hand side, he saw Julia's friendly face smiling at him, the throbbing in his head had already begun to dissipate, "There we go, feeling a bit better?" he didn't dare move his head to nodded positively in answer to her question and nor did he want to speak as he still felt slightly nauseous so he answered with a grunt hoping the sound would suffice. She smiled and removed her hand from his back and rolled slowly onto his back and sighed, hoping to never go through that again.

The pain in his head had lessened considerably but it still felt like it was throbbing underneath the stiches which now felt tight on his skin. He fumbled with the bed controls for a moment before Julia adjusted them for him. Now that he was partially sitting up he noticed a doctor, one he didn't think he'd seen before, was making some notes on his chart.

The doctor looked up from his chart and explained that he wasn't too worried about the headache Matt had just experienced, that it was quite common for patients to get post craniotomy headaches. He continued to explain there would be more concern if they kept happening after a fortnight but the doctor saw no reason that this would happen. He also explained a few other side effects of the operation and compound linear fracture on his skull to reassure Matt that even though the headache probably one of the worst pains he'd ever felt that it wasn't unusual and it wouldn't be unusual for any minor nosebleeds or bleeding from his ears for the next few weeks. He continued to reassure him by saying how well he was doing after the injuries he'd received. The doctor asked if he had any questions, he didn't, and so he left.

He could feel the painkillers working now. His head had that cotton wool feeling he'd discovered so many times during first few times he had woken up after the accident. He still felt incredibly nauseous and his body felt cold; he pulled his legs up slightly to his chest and adjusted the covers. He saw the nurse reach for a plastic basin and placed it next to his hand before announcing, "I'll go and get you something to help with the nausea," she placed a comforting hand on his right shoulder before getting up and leaving the darkened room. After she left his stomach twisted and lurched but he managed to grab the basin just as he threw up, however, having not eaten anything for over two days and only being on IV nutrients all that came up was sickly bile which only served to make more nauseous.

Thankfully after dry heaving a few times he managed to get control of his stomach back just before Julia arrived back in the room carrying a small syringe, "Sorry," he mumbled apologetically to her whilst indicating at the basin he'd just been sick in. She shook her head and told him not to worry about it and gave him a cup of water which he gladly rinsed his mouth out with before having a few sips whilst the nurse injected the antiemetic into the IV port.

The nurse sat down on the stool next to the bed. He wondered why she stayed in the room with him, she must have other patients. Once again the drugs in his system seemed to make his thoughts come across on his face like an open book as she said jokingly, "All my good patients are asleep," he frowned wondering what the time was, he could just about make out the hands on the clock, his vision was still slightly blurry and it was either 12:15 or 3:00, he had no idea which or even if it was night or day, "It's 3am," she explained, "So I can sit here and keep you company or sit alone at my desk," she smiled, she didn't tell him she also wanted to watch for any adverse reaction between the morphine and the antiemetic she had just administrated although the combination was only likely to create a sedative effect, "You're also a very popular man," she said jokingly, "You've got everyone gossiping about the firefighter who saved the baby," she smiled.

"Oh yeah the other nurse said that," he said tiredly, the drugs in his system were making him lethargic, "S'only my job though…" his mind wondered off and he found himself thinking about work, he wanted to get back as soon as he could, he couldn't bear to sit around doing nothing, he wanted to get out of this room, it only served to remind him of his past experience stuck in hospital unable to look after himself, "When can I get out of here?" he asked, realising it was probably quite a stupid thing to ask once the words had left his lips considering they'd just had to give him a shot of morphine because of the debilitating pain his headache caused him.

"Once you're up and about a little more, eating and keeping it down it won't take long for you to be discharged," she smiled and then asked with concern, "How are you feeling now?"

The morphine had done its job effectively. His head no longer felt like it was being crushed by some invisible weight, his brain didn't feel like it was pulsating underneath his skull getting ready to explode, it was no longer throbbing and he was no longer in pain. Now his head felt like it had been wrapped in cotton wool and even though his body ached, it felt like he was floating on a cloud, not sat up on a hospital bed with his legs to his chest. He felt cold and the pangs of nausea still assaulted his insides but he could feel them ebbing away as he sat there in the darkened room. He wasn't sure how long he was sat in silence before replying to the question posed by Julia, he hoped it hadn't been too long, but if it had he was sure it could be explained away by the narcotic flowing around his system. "Better," he said simply, which of course was true, he felt nearly one hundred percent compared to thirty minutes ago. She gave him a look that told him she wasn't entirely satisfied with his answer, "Cold and a little sick still, I guess," he provided, he had pulled the covers up to his shoulders but still felt a chill. Julia stood up and fetched another blanket and placed it on top of him after he slid his legs back down from their position near his chest.

Julia sat with him as he remained awake, he was sure if he closed his eyes he would easily drift off to sleep in his drugged state but he didn't want to. He didn't want to wake up feeling sick and in pain. He didn't want to wake up and feel unable to control his own body. The doctor had already assured him that he was fine and it was just a headache and that it was unlikely to happen again especially with the pain management plan that was set out. They had already begun taking him off the morphine ready to move off opioids and onto non-narcotic painkillers ready to go home. Matt just hoped that now he'd been given another higher dose of morphine it didn't mean it would take longer for him to get home.

"You don't get to sleep on nights?" he questioned out of curiosity and to distract him from his own thoughts.

"No, just doctors do that, and in the day!" she smiled

"Ah I didn't know, my…" he began but hesitated slightly when he realised what he was saying, "…erm…my fiancé used to tell me she would grab any chance of sleep she could get when she was a med student. Firehouse is a little quieter than the ER, most the time we don't have to pull all-nighters," he explained.

"She's a doctor?" Julia smiled and asked him curiously.

"Yeah," he smiled sadly and looked down suddenly fascinated by the IV line that ran out of his hand, "She… um… she died," he explained quietly.

"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically.

He shook his head and decided to say nothing more on the subject, it was something he didn't talk about; he thought about it often but would not talk about it for fear of opening a floodgate of emotions. He changed the subject, he didn't want to be the focus of the conversation; "Do you have a family?" he asked smiling after he rid the sadness from his face. His voice began to slur slightly with tiredness.

"A little boy," she smiled, "and my husband works construction."

He smiled, coughed to clear his throat, his mouth felt dry, and said, "I've got a little construction business," Julia frowned so he continued, "Can't fight fires every day, we do 24 hours on and 48 hours off so there's quite a bit of downtime even with all the paperwork I have to do," he explained.

"Ah I see! You learn something new every day!" She smiled and he reached for the cup of water that was sat on the swinging table to sooth his dry mouth. After taking a few sips and place it back on the table he sunk back into the bed. Everything was beginning to feel quite hazy, he wasn't sure if it was the drugs or just tiredness. He wanted to fight through the haze but now that he was longer feeling nauseous he felt much more comfortable. He lay there silently studying the tapered edge of the hospital issue blanket, the way the stitching crisscrossed perfectly was the only thought going through his head. Julie remained silent. His breathing was slow and steady and his body felt like it was sinking further and further down into the comfort of the mattress. His eyes kept closing on their own accord and soon he could not will himself to keep his eyes open any longer and drifted off to sleep.

 **TBC**


	7. Seven

**Six Weeks**

A/N _-_ Thanks again for all the reviews, favourites and follows! Hope you like this next part!

 **Seven**

 _Wednesday 20th November 2013_  
 _Morning **  
**_

Casey once again found himself being pulled from unconsciousness by someone calling his name. He opened his eyes slowly and was glad to discover the lights in his room were still turned off. He was even happier when he realised his headache had not returned. As he eyes slowly became adjusted he recognised his doctor stood at the end of his bed.

"Good morning Matt, how are doing? I've been told about last night, has the headache gone completely?" Doctor Carter asked him.

It took a moment for him to take in everything his doctor just asked as he was still groggy from sleeping and he could still feel the remnants of the drug induced hazed. After clearing his throat his responded, "Yeah."

"Good, any nausea?" the doctor continued questioning him.

"No, I'm ok," he replied tiredly, still pushing himself out of the fragments of sleep. Even with little sleep his transitions from sleep to alert were usually rapid. He would be glad when he was allowed off the painkillers that seemed to cause such lethargy to his ordinarily alert mind and body.

"You've not eaten anything yet?" his doctor questioned.

"Erm... just not wanted anything yet," He replied rather lamely, he'd spent most of his time sleeping and the little moments he was awake had mainly been spent in a bubble of drugs, but even after only a couple days he had seen in the mirror he'd already lost a little weight, "I'll have something today, been too tired to want anything I think."

The doctor nodded in response and then asked, "Have you remembered anything from the accident?"

He suddenly felt more awake from the panic that questioned brought on in his mind, he couldn't remember anything at all, he'd figured out that he was missing about two days because he could remember have lunch with Dawson after the morning when they'd been informed the firehouse was to be closed after their next shift. He panicked because he didn't know if this would affect his return to work. He quietly replied with a frown, "Only bits and pieces, it's all still quite hazy."

"Ok, that's nothing to worry about, there are still likely to be some concussion related memory issues, it may come back after you're discharged. Do you live with anyone?" The doctor asked.

"No, live on my own," he said hoping this wouldn't affect his discharge.

"Ok, from the amount of visitors you've had I assume you'll have plenty of people who'll be checking up on you?" Matt nodded slowly in response to the doctor, a bit miffed that apparently he'd not be capable on his own but if it got him out of this room then he didn't mind. "We'll see how everything goes and I'm not making any promises, I know you don't want to be stuck here, but I'll consider discharging you tomorrow with strict instructions and you'll come in and see me for some follow ups before I sign you off to work."

His doctor left and soon after breakfast arrived. Even though he felt like closing his eyes and falling back to sleep to catch up on what he had missed the previous night he resigned himself to remaining awake to eat as it would mean getting out of the hospital. He moved the table so it was now swung over his lap before pouring the cold milk into the small bowl of cereal and ate slowly, his jaw felt tight but despite the nausea had been experience on and off since he woke up his stomach seemed to appreciate the food. He didn't finish it; he left a quarter of the bowl full of soggy cereal. Before pushing the table away he drank some of the water and grabbed the TV remote.

Attempting to watch the TV had been a failure. He had wanted it on to help him remain awake but he found it difficult to focus, he seemed to watch for a moment and then he was suddenly completely lost and didn't know what was happening, the small screen on the wall opposite his bed also made his eyes strain and his head ache as he tried to concentrate on the images. Dejectedly he turned the TV off and dropped the remote to his side sighing. He felt useless. He couldn't even watch TV. After a moment of feeling sorry for himself, he decided to do something about, he flung the bed covers off with a little more enthusiasm than he expected from his tired body. After pushing the side of the bed down he slowly grabbed the IV pole, slid off the bed and onto his feet. He stood for a moment to quell the small bout of dizziness before slowly fumbling around the bag of clothes Severide had brought for some pyjama bottoms before going to the bathroom.

He put the pyjama bottoms on under the hospital gown for some more privacy, he was thankful for the front opening gown rather than one that fastened at the back which would have provided him little dignity walking about. He wanted to put his dressing gown on too but with the IV still in his hand wasn't going to be able. Using one hand on the bathroom sink counter to steady himself he used his other to slowly and carefully shave. He was grateful Severide had brought quite a few of his things over. He brushed his teeth and then slowly made his back to the bed, feeling a little more human now he felt fresher.

Back on the bed and under the covers he grabbed the iPod and rather than looking through the playlists with his tired eyes he just pressed shuffle knowing Severide would have put a good selection on it. He lay there listening to the music but soon found that his eye lids were getting heavier and heavier, beginning to close on their own accord so he decided he'd lie with his eyes closed just for a few moments.

The next thing he knew was the sound of hushed chatter. His headphones must have been removed and then he realised he must have fallen to sleep. He couldn't discern what was being said and decided to remain lying still on his back his eyes closed for a little longer, imagining he was back at home in his own bed. He soon realised the whispers belonged to Dawson and Shay though he wasn't paying much attention to their conversation. He shifted slightly on the bed to get more comfortable, "Matt?" he heard Gabby call his name softly. Slowly he opened his eyes and saw the familiar blurry sight of his hospital room, "Hey, how you doing?" He saw Gabby's blurred form head over to his bedside and felt a hand on his arm. He just looked blearily up to her and smiled slightly in response to her query, he was still half asleep and slowly becoming more and more aware once more.

"I'll go and get us some coffee, Casey you want anything?" Shay asked, she was stood at the end of his bed, he slowly shook his head from side to side and closed his eyes for a moment to clear his blurry vision, "'Kay, I'll be back in a few," she said as she left the room through the sliding door.

"Lights on?" Dawson asked him. He only now just realised that his room was still only lit with the light coming from behind the open blinds that hung in front of the glass wall to his left, "…or are your eyes sensitive?" he wondered if she knew what had happened last night. He didn't want her to know. He didn't want her to think he was weak, it was bad enough having Severide help him with the bathroom yesterday but he loved her and he didn't want her to see him like this but at least he had shaved earlier.

"I'm fine," he said quietly, Dawson was wearing her uniform and he remembered Severide saying yesterday that they'd all try and pop in and keep him company for a little bit, "Shift ok?" he asked as the lights were turned on, he squinted for a moment and then his vision adjusted to the bright room.

"Yeah, just brought in a gunshot victim, thought we'd hang out here until the next call," she said offhandedly whilst sitting down on the stool next to his bed smiling at him. He studied her face, she looked tired and worried, he felt a pit in his stomach when he realised she'd probably still been worrying about him.

He reached over and took her hand and pulled it over to the bed where it now rested under his, "Gabby I love you," he announced sincerely, "…and I'm ok, I hate to think you've been worrying about me, I'm fine," he emphasised and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"I love you too," she smiled but he could see a hint of worry across her face still, "And you always say that," he frowned wondering what she meant, "'I'm fine', you're always 'fine' and I'm allowed to worry that you're not… I mean… you almost died!" she said breathlessly.

"I'm sor…" he began but closed his mouth to cut off the apology, that wasn't what she needed, "…I am ok," he spoke softly, emphasising each word and then continued, "I mean, I am tired and a little sore, but I'm fine," he squeezed her hand comfortingly again, "And the doctor even said he may discharge me tomorrow and he's the expert," he added with a grin.

"Really?" she sounded surprised but she was smiling at his announcement.

"Uh huh," he nodded positively.

The hospital room door slid open to reveal Shay carrying two polystyrene cups of coffee. He adjusted his bed so that he was sat up a little more and whilst he listened to Shay and Gabby chatting away he realised this was the first time since the accident that he felt completely normal, he was a little tired but he wasn't struggling to stay awake and he was managing to keep her with the conversation Shay and Gabby were having, well as much as he could usually keep up with their fast paced chatter.

It wasn't too long before Ambulance 61 got a call which left him sat alone in his hospital room once more. He grabbed the iPod off the table and scrolled through to find one of the audiobooks that Severide had uploaded. He lay on the hospital bed listening to the iPod and watching the world go by through the slats in the blind. It wasn't too long until an orderly brought lunch into his room; he ate most of the cheese sandwich and half of the apple, leaving the other items on the tray. He began listening to the audiobook once more after he pushed the swivelling table away from the bed but soon he grew restless. He felt like he had been in the room and on the hospital bed for eternity. He glanced at the sofa chair in the corner and wondered if a change in seating arrangements would make a difference so he pushed back the covers, grabbed the IV pole and slowly slid of the bed. The world tilted and his stomach lurched but he steadied himself. His grip on the IV pole was the only thing keeping him upright was the room around blurred and shifted. Fortunately the world soon righted itself after what had only been a short moment but a moment that had felt like an embarrassingly long time to regain control of his dizziness. The room felt cold without the bed covers over the thin gown he was wearing so he took one the blankets off the bed and dragged it over to the sofa chair before sitting down and picking up one of the magazines that were piled next to his bag that Severide had brought. He ended up aimlessly flipping through the pages after attempting to concentrate on the first page but his attention kept drifting and he'd find himself reading the same sentence more than once before realising.

He heard the room door slide open, "Awake and out of bed!" he heard Severide announce as he entered, "Wasn't expecting that!"

He looked up slowly from the magazine, "Hey," he smiled, "How are you?" he asked slowly, beginning to feel tired again.

"I'm great… I'm not the one stuck in here," he smirked.

"Not stuck for much longer," he said proudly.

"Oh yeah?" Severide asked with a tone that held slight disbelief.

"Oh yeah," he smiled, "Hopefully tomorrow," he said and then asked, "Been on a call?"

"Being kicked out? Nurses sick of all your demands then?" Severide joked and then explained, "Nah, got fuel and thought we'd pop by, how are you doing?" he asked before grinning and mocking him, "'I'm fine!' he says after major surgery!"

He smiled a little, he knew full well Severide was exactly the same when it came to injuries, "I am fine," he stated with a grin, "I mean, I'm a little tired, that's all, but I'm not being pumped full of drugs right now so it's…" he explained but his friend interrupted him.

"It's not floaty anymore?" Severide asked with a sly smile.

"What?" He said tiredly and frowned.

"Never mind," the sly smile still played across Severides face.

"I've had an idea!" Severide said abruptly, "For when you get out of here," his friend continued and he frowned questioningly, "A library!"

"What?" he had no idea what his friend was talking about.

"…For Nathen's school. We build one for them. Nathen was one of the main reasons the house stayed open, thought it would be good to give something back and it would give you something to do! You can design it and we'll get people to pitch in a help build it, when you're up and about though… pretty sure we'll need your expertise putting it together!" Severide explained enthusiastically.

He couldn't remember anything about Nathen helping them out but wasn't going to let anyone know that, not when he was so close to getting out of the hospital, "That's a brilliant idea, I'll come with some designs and see what's best," he replied earnestly. It would be nice to have something to do once he was home, as it was the middle of winter he didn't have any work on at the moment so it would be good to occupy himself with Severides library idea.

"Good!" Severide exclaimed and just at that moment the radio crackled into life and his friend left to attend the call.

Despite the cosy appearance of the sofa chair and the blanket he'd draped over himself he was no longer comfortable sat on the chair. With the magazine under his arm, his right hand on the IV pole and the blanket trailing behind as he gripped it in his left hand he slowly made the few steps back the his bed once. The magazine fell from under his arm and completely forgetting about the dizziness he had been experiencing he shot down to a crouch position to pick it back up off the floor only for the room to tilt, he could have sworn he heard a body hitting the ground and it never occurred to him it was his as the world went black.

 **TBC**


	8. Eight

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you so so so much for all your reviews!

 **Eight**

 _Wednesday 20th November 2013_  
 _Later afternoon **  
**_

Casey slowly became aware that he was lying on his left hand side. He wasn't on his bed. He was much too cold to be lying safely under the covers of his bed. He tried to sit up to discover where he was only to find something stopped him. As his vision cleared he realised he was lying in crumpled heap on the floor, that explained why it was cold. Julia, the nurse, was knelt down in front of him and he saw the feet of someone he presumed was an orderly next to her. Looking up he saw she was talking to him.

He turned his attention to her voice, "Matt? You back with me? You fainted. Sit up slowly and we'll get you back to the bed," she explained softly to him. He couldn't remember what had happened but he wasn't in pain and his body didn't ache much more than usual. Slowly he positioned himself so that he was sat up, there were no waves of dizziness threatening to send him back down so he then began to stand up but was halted in his actions, "Just hang on a moment then you can get up," Julia said, her hand was on his shoulder. He sat for a moment before he stood up shakily, throwing off the help offered by the both Julia and the orderly. He stiffly got onto the bed as Julia picked up the blanket and magazine from the floor. After he had pulled the covers over the lower half of his body, Julia placed the magazine on the side table and draped the blanket over the end of the bed. He drank some water before grabbing the iPod when Julia asked if there was anything he wanted, there wasn't so she left him to insert the headphones, roll on to his left side and press play. He lay listening to the audiobook before he drifted off to sleep.

The next time he woke up he groggily saw that Julia was in his room, stood next to the IV stand, "Just taking you off fluids and IV meds now you're up and about and eating, you'll be having three pills twice a day, I'll bring them in just before you have your dinner," she explained as she removed the IV and placed a plaster over the small hole, surround by a bruise, on the top of his right hand.

"Think I'll get out of here tomorrow?" he asked hopefully worried the incident earlier will have put back his discharge to another day.

"You'll have to see what your doctor thinks," she said simply, he realised she didn't want to give him any false hope, and understood that she would have informed him about his incident a few hours earlier. He hoped he could still get out of the hospital tomorrow; he was fed up of being constantly monitored and checked on. It must have been a good sign that he was now just going to taking his medication orally so there must still be the chance of his discharge happening tomorrow but he didn't want to get his hopes up only to find he was stuck here for another day. If he went home it meant he was closer to getting back to normal and getting back to work. She must have seen the apprehension in his face as she continued, "Everything looks good to me though, you've not had any more PC headaches which is always good. How's the nausea?"

"Gone," he answered, it was partially true, on the most part he was experiencing very little nausea, it was only when he moved to suddenly or stood up for too long that a few waves hit him.

"Good. It's nearly dinner time if you want to stay awake for a bit and wait. I'll bring your meds in soon," she explained, he nodded in response and then she left.

It wasn't long until she returned with a small cup carrying three pills. He had kept himself busy by flipping through the magazine, with the TV on for background noise. He sat up from his slouched position on the bed and adjusted it so he was upright as she approached.

"What are they?" he asked as she handed him the small cup containing three pills.

"Tylenol and codeine, and an anticonvulsant," she said as he tipped the cup into his mouth and swallowed the pills down with some water, "Let us know if you're in any pain because you can have the painkillers every 4 hours if you need them," she explained.

Julia left and soon an orderly arrived with a tray of dinner. He picked at the mash potato, vegetables and chicken but ate most of it knowing that he should.

After eating it didn't take long for boredom to set in and he wasn't the sort of person who got bored easily, he always had something to work on and right now he had nothing productive to do, his mind was drifting too much to concentrate on anything and he felt useless. He stared longingly out at the world beyond the slats of the blinds and watched as the nurses and doctors got on with their business, he watched as a patient was pushed along in a wheelchair and saw a doctor rush off after checking his pager. As time went on he began to wish he still felt drowsy enough to sleep through the boredom. He changed position several times in an attempt to get himself comfortable but he felt restless and agitated. The plasters and bandages over his skin where the IVs and tubes had previously been were irritating. The skin on the back of his head, under the sutures, kept calling out to be scratched to relive the itching. He threw the covers back and got out of bed, stumbling slightly before going to the bathroom, used the facilities and then splashed water over his face to refresh himself. He stared at his reflection in the mirror; he looked rough but didn't look so ill and pale anymore.

He decided he'd been stood up too long as he made his way clumsily back to the bed, annoyed that the simple act of getting up and going to the bathroom had suddenly made him so tired. After pulling the covers up he lay on his left hand side, closed his eyes and listened to the news on the TV before drifting off to sleep.

The next time he woke up he kept his eyes closed with the hope that he would just fall back to sleep again, his head was throbbing dully and he slowly became aware of his aching body, he felt sore where there had been no pain before then he remembered how Julia was kneeling next to his body on the floor the last time he woke up. He panicked momentarily and wondered if his body had failed him again and he would open his eyes to find concerned hospital staff trying to get his attention. But he wasn't cold like before and he was sure he was lying on his bed and not the hard floor. He opened his eyes to confirm this and blearily saw his hand lying near his face on top of the white bed; he sighed and slowly rolled onto his back.

There was someone else in the room. He looked over to the sofa chair to discover Chief Boden sat with some paperwork, "Chief?" he croaked out tiredly.

"Casey, how are you feeling?" Boden asked him, he'd lost count of how many times he'd been asked how he was doing over the last few days.

"I was sort of hoping it was the morning," he admitted, "I wanna get out of here."

"You're being discharged tomorrow?" Boden asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Hopefully. Well, maybe… probably not," he sighed miserably and shifted himself onto his right hand side to see Boden without straining his neck which just served to emphasises the dull throbbing in his head, "How's shift? How come you're here?" he asked curiously.

"Shift is fine, you can look forward to reading through the reports when you get back," Boden smiled, "And I thought I might catch you awake and probably bored so I figured I'd pop by and keep you company until I'm needed back at the house," he explained.

"I was bored… then I fell asleep," He grinned tiredly, rolling onto his back, and closing his eyes. The headache still persisted. It wasn't incredibly painful, more of an annoyance; a constant reminder of his current limitations.

"You ok, Casey?" Boden's question pierced his thoughts.

"Uh huh," he mumbled in response.

The next time he opened his eyes a nurse was stood over him, he squinted at the light but saw she was holding a small pot and a cup of water, "Painkillers," she said simply and he slowly sat up and took the two pills and then took the cup of water to wash them down, "They won't make you groggy like the morphine. Drowsiness and nausea can be a side effect but it won't be like the morphine I promise, so please do ask for them if you're in any pain," she explained softly.

He thanked her before she left and realised Boden was still in the room, he was shaking his head mockingly, "Are you and Severide in a competition over stubbornness?" he grinned. Matt smiled tiredly at him in response. "I'll leave you to sleep, let one of us know if you're being discharged tomorrow and we can get you home," Boden explained and before he could protest his chief left the room after dimming the lights so he closed his eyes and let sleep take over once more.

He slept terribly through the night. He dreamt of a babies cries. He dreamt of Hallie, trapped, surrounded by fire. He dreamt of his parents arguing. He dreamt of Dawson trapped in the car with him as the fire spread. He dreamt of Andy being engulfed by flames. He dreamt of Severide hanging precariously under his grip. Each time he woke up disoriented and it would take a few moments to remember where he was and shake away the images that assaulted him.

He was lying on his side when his doctor entered in the morning. He moved tiredly onto his back and sat up on the bed, "Morning Matt, how are you doing?" he asked whilst checking through his chart.

"Fine," he replied tiredly.

"Ok, this all looks good, how are feeling now your off the IV meds?" Doctor Carter asked.

"All right, not really noticed a difference I guess," he explained.

"How's the dizziness when you're up and about?" The doctor asked.

"Much better now," he said, he had only gotten up once since he'd fainted but the dizziness had subsided much quicker than before it was now just the tiredness that seemed to limit him.

"That's good, and you're less nauseas on the codeine and Tylenol," he stated, indicated the chart, "That's good."

He smiles tiredly, "That mean I can get out of here?"

"Going to keep you here for most of the day to make sure everything's still good but you're doing really well and I'll discharge you late this afternoon, around 4pm so you can get someone to give a lift home or sort a taxi, no driving whilst you're on the anticonvulsants, and I'll make an appointment for you to come back in to remove the stitches and have your first check up," the doctor explained, he was only really half listening after being told he would be discharged today, he couldn't wait to get out this room and to stop having people constantly checking on him.

The doctor left him alone and he lay back down on the bed. It was going to be a long day waiting around to be released.

 **TBC**


	9. Nine

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you again for all your reviews! Means so much! Didn't expect so many!

 **Nine**

 _Thursday 21st November 2013_  
 _Mid morning_

Casey was sat up on the hospital bed with an empty breakfast bowl sat on the tray next to him when he saw his friend enter the room through the sliding door.

"Morning!" Severide announced as he closed the door and went over to the sofa chair.

"Hey," his voice sounded a little faint after its non-use so he cleared his voice and continued, "Good shift?"

"Yeah, typical, how are you doing?" his friend asked casually.

"Good, getting out of here later," he said happily.

"That's great news! I'll give you a lift, just text me when you need me, only going to the gym today," he explained.

"Thanks," he decided not to object, it would be much nicer to get a ride with his friend than getting a taxi, "Don't want to imagine the state of my fridge..." he said and couldn't stop a yawn from escaping.

"Late night partying with the nurses?" Severide joked, "And don't worry about the fridge, I got rid of the perishables," he explained.

"Really?" It came out more surprised than he'd hoped, "Thanks," he said. At least he didn't need to worry about cleaning out his fridge but it meant he would barely have any food in the house. He hated to ask for help but if wasn't going to be allowed to drive because of his meds it was going to make food shopping difficult.

"...Matt?" Severides concerned expression was suddenly much closer to him.

"Huh?" he blinked. It had happened again. He seemed to have missed a chunk of time.

"Lost you... You ok?" Severide asked apprehensively.

"Oh yeah... Just tired, didn't sleep well sorry," he admitted, it was true, he hadn't slept well and maybe that was why he'd missed what his friend was saying, it must have been, he convinced himself, he couldn't wait to get home so he could start sleeping properly. "What were you saying?"

"Just wondered if you wanted me to stay over tonight? We could watch a film? Get a take out? Celebrate your freedom!" he grinned.

"To be honest I think I'll just want to sleep in my own bed as soon as I get back," he admitted; he really did just want to be on his own.

"Another night then," Severide smiled, "TV?" he asked, standing up and picking up the controller from the swivel table before sitting back down.

"Yeah sure," he said. Severide turned the TV and began flicking through the channels. Today was going to be a long day waiting around to be discharged. He rubbed his temples, it felt like he was going to be getting a headache but it hadn't been 4 hours since breakfast when he'd had his meds.

"Ok?" Severide asked with worry etched across his face.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied dismissively. They sat in silence watching the TV. His eyes strained as he tried to concentrate on the programme they were watching and soon he found his afternoon drifting. He closed his eyes. His headache was now in full swing and he could feel it throbbing behind his eyes. He heard the door slide.

"Hey you two," it was Dawson. Matt opened his eyes as she closed the door, "I brought bagels," she announced and placed them on the table. "How you doing?" She asked him.

"Tired but fine," he said happy to see her, "You?"

"Good, heard you're getting discharged later?" she said and pulled up the stool to side of his bed and sat down whilst Severide remained sprawled on the sofa chair. He looked to Severide questioningly; wondering if he'd message everyone the good news and his friend just smiled and shrugged. "I'm working at Molly's tonight but I'm sure the guys won't mind if I get one of them to cover me so I can stay with you?" Dawson suggested.

"Nah it's all right," he said, and noting the concerned look spreading across her face added, "But maybe tomorrow? I'm still pretty tired so I'll be lousy company tonight." He really did just want to be on his own, he felt weak and useless and he didn't want to be seen like that.

"I'll bring breakfast over then," she said and there would be no negotiating with her so he smiled and accepted the offer. "Bagel?" she offered the bag to him.

"Not hungry, already had breakfast," he said tiredly and indicated to the empty bowl. His head was throbbing dully and his disturbed sleep last night was catching up with him. "You guys don't have to keep me company," he said, he imagined they had much better things to do than sit with his as he lay half asleep on the hospital bed.

A yawn escaped his mouth again and Severide grinned, "We boring you?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, not sure what else to say. Apparently it was the wrong thing to say according to expression that now lay across Severides face, a mixture of worry and confusion. He sighed and sank further down on the bed, "Seriously you guys can go; you don't need to keep me company."

He watched carefully as Severide and Dawson glanced at each other momentarily, "We don't mind at all Casey," Severide stated softly, "Like I said, my only plan for the day is going to the gym, so I can sit and watch TV here with you or go and watch it at home, makes no difference to me."

"Just go!" he snapped, but then frowned in concern at his sudden anger so he tried to correct himself and wipe the worried expressions of his friends faces, "Please," he spoke softly this time and ran a hand through his hair, frustrated at his little outburst.

He refrained from looking at his friends but from the corner of his eye his saw Dawson stand up stool and felt her place a hand on his right shoulder. He shrugged it away but regretted the action immediately. Why was he acting like this? He was frustrated and taking it out on the only people that cared and if he was honest with himself he wasn't entirely sure why he was suddenly so frustrated, moments ago he was still happy that he was going to be discharged later in the day.

Dawson must have realised there would be no winning in the situation as she sadly bid him farewell before adding, "Call me if you need anything," and then she left, leaving Severide stood up in front of the sofa chair he had previously been occupying and for a moment Matt thought he too would just leave him but he didn't.

Instead of leaving Severide had moved to the left hand side of his bed, "Case? What's wrong?" he asked with trepidation.

He sighed and briefly closed his eyes, "Other than the obvious?" he grimaced, not looking at Severide. Moving his eyes from the bed covers to his friends face he saw his concern, "I'll be fine when I'm home," Severide didn't look convinced, "Look Kelly… I feel like crap ok? And I don't want you guys…"

"…To see you like this? Come on Matt, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling," Severide said and Matt averted his eyes, concentrating on the stitched edge of the blanket.

"I'm sorry," he muttered almost inaudibly.

"Will you quit apologising already?" Severide said, with his voice full of frustration.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, "But I do just want be own my own…"

"What so you can lie in here in misery?" His friend said quickly.

"…So I can lie here and sleep," He said more forcibly, "I'm fine… Well I will be if I could just be alone."

"Fine," Severide threw his arms up in what he hoped was mock protest as he really didn't want to be arguing with him. He really did just want to be on his own, not to wallow in self-pity; he just wanted to feel normal, which he couldn't when he was surrounded by people who were constantly looking for a hint of something being wrong. His friend sighed and said "Well text me when you can get out of here," he smiled sadly and left the room leaving Matt alone with the TV still playing. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was still early in the day. He sighed and rolled over onto his right hand side, annoyed with himself for getting frustrated; he shook his head as if to rid it of the thoughts running through his head and closed his eyes, listening to the chatter from the TV before drifting off to sleep.

It was becoming more and more annoying to wake up and still feel unrested. Casey looked blurrily around to see that an orderly had entered with lunch so he slowly moved onto his back and muttered thanks as the orderly left. He felt too sleepy to eat and he really didn't want eat where he'd just been sleeping, he really wanted a shower and his own clothes. He doubted his ability to stay standing for too long if he showered and of course there was the white gauze still over the incision line. He got up and steadily made his way to the small bathroom to refresh himself before steadily making his way back and promptly collapsing back on to the bed, his body felt useless and weak after being here for only three days. He flicked through the TV channels before deciding there was nothing on and turned it off before slowly eating the sandwiches and drinking the cup of juice that the orderly had brought in.

The afternoon had dragged on slowly. His head still throbbed dully and he was lying sleepily on his back listening to the iPod when the door to his room slid open revealing Doctor Carter who he hoped was the bearer of good news.

"Afternoon Matt, how are you feeling?" he asked as he made his way over to the bed.

"Other than being bored, I'm all right," he replied with the truth. Other than his slight headache, which he had been told to expect for a few days, and the general weakness he felt he was fine.

"Still no more nausea?" the doctor asked and he shook his head in response, "Good, it can be a side effect with the pain meds like it was with the morphine but you seem to react much better to the pills, but let us know if that changes and we can try something else. I've got some paperwork for you to sign and then you can be discharged," he explained, "You're going to have to take it really slowly until your check up and we'll review everything from there. I'm going to make an appointment for six days' time and you'll get the sutures out and have your first check up," he explained as he scribbled something down in the chart he was holding. "For the next six days just rest, no driving and no lifting anything heavier than a pint of milk, go for a walk if you want to but no running or any other exercise and if you have any questions don't hesitate to call me," he said as he placed a card on the swivel table containing the date and time of the check up and his contact details. He left Casey after saying he was going to pick up the prescriptions from the pharmacy for him to take home.

Whilst he waited for his doctor to get his medication he messaged Severide to see if he was still available to give him a ride home. His friend replied back straight away and said he'd leave for the hospital right away.

Doctor Carted entered his room once more carrying a clear zip lock bag containing four clear plastic pill containers, he placed them on the table and said, "These ones," he indicated to the three slightly smaller containers, "Are the painkillers, take two twice a day, with breakfast and dinner so you're not having them with an empty stomach, if you do get a headache in-between taking them you can have some more, every four hours but no more than eight in a day," he explained and then indicated to the slightly larger pot, "Anticonvulsants. One of these twice a day with the painkillers, I'll want you to take these for the next two weeks, there's enough here until your check up and I'll write scrip for more then," the doctor finished explaining and Matt felt overwhelmed by all the information he'd been given in last twenty minutes or so, "Don't worry, it's all written down! Got any questions?"

"I don't think so," he replied, still overwhelmed with everything he had been told he couldn't do and what he had to do before his check-up.

"Ok, if you just sign this then you're free to go, have you got a lift or did you want me to call a cab for you?" the doctor asked him.

"I'm getting a lift, should be here soon," he replied, the doctor bid his farewell and left Matt to slowly get up and grab a top and some socks out of the bag Severide had left him with. In the bathroom he got changed slowly, his arms and neck felt stiff as he dropped the top over his head. Once again he had momentarily forgotten to take it carefully with his body and when he bent down to put his socks on he suddenly felt lightheaded and grabbed the counter to steady himself before the dizziness dissipated. Back in the hospital room he grabbed his trainers from the bag and sat down on the sofa chair before carefully slipping them on and tying the laces. He was just finishing off the last bow when the door slid open.

Severide entered, followed by Julia the nurse who was pushing along a wheelchair. Matt paled at the sight of it, "Hospital policy," Julia explained.

"Oh…" he began but before he could protest Severide interrupted him.

"I'll pack everything up," his friend stated and Matt released there were things scattered all over the room and he hadn't even gathered up his toiletries from the bathroom but it didn't take Severide long to gather everything up before he handed him a hoody and announcing, "It's cold out." He put the hoody on and Severide took his things to the car, saying he would meet him at the entrance. Dejectedly he sat down in the wheelchair and Julia wheeled him to the entrance where Severide was waiting. He stood up slowly, saying goodbye to Julia who had been so nice to him whilst he was here, and walked slowly over to his friend.

"Ok?" Severide asked after eying his unsteady form up and down, "Maybe you should steal that wheelchair," he grinned.

"Ha, very funny," he muttered as they left the hospital.

"Parked as close as I could," Severide stated as he followed behind as they began walking slowly to car. He wrapped his arms round his chest to keep warm, it was freezing cold, grey and miserable, and it was starting to get dark. Matt only just realised he'd not seen the outside world, even through a window, whilst he'd been in the hospital. The short walk to the car was exhausting and embarrassingly by the time he was sat down in the passenger seat he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep despite the cold. He watched tiredly as Severide started the engine, adjusted the heat, and turned the radio on, "You ok, Case?" he heard the concern laced in Severides voice, yeah, he thought but no words left his lips and he just nodded slowly. "You'll be home in no time," Severide stated softly and they set off to his house.

 **TBC**


	10. Ten

**Six Weeks  
**  
A/N - Thank you for your reviews, it's great to know what you think! Hope you like this chapter.

 **Ten**

 _Thursday 21st November 2013_  
 _Late afternoon **  
**_  
"…Casey?" he heard his name called bringing him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes to find Severides blurry outline looking over him. He shook his head side to side once to shake away the grogginess that had taken over.

"Mmmm," he muttered in acknowledge to the questioning expression he saw on his friends face through bleary eyes.

"We're here," Severide stated. Where? He thought, and glanced around to discover he was slumped in the passenger seat of his friend's car. Then he remembered Severide was giving him a ride home from the hospital. He followed his friend's actions slowly when Severide got out the car and headed up the steps to the front door of the house. Severide pulled his spare key out to let them both inside. He entered his house behind Severide, who was carrying his bag, "You need to have something to eat and have your meds before you can go back to sleep," Severide stated but all Matt wanted to do was go to sleep in his own bed but he didn't want to argue and knew the painkillers and anticonvulsants were best to have with a full stomach.

"I doubt I've got much food but you're welcome to have something too if you want," he said tiredly as he sat down at the kitchen table before his legs gave way from standing for too long.

Severide opened the fridge as he said, "I gave Herrmann your key and he came over with food earlier, Cindy's made you a load of meals that you just need to heat up," Casey's surprise must have evident on his face as Severide continued smiling, "Family, right?"

"She's brilliant," he stated, so grateful for all the thought and care.

"She is. So…What do you want? There are all sorts of meals or do you want toast or something?" Severide suggested.

"I can do something myself Kelly, you can go back home," he said and began to get up from the chair.

"Don't get up, I'm starving so I'm eating and then I'll leave you," Severide insisted and he fell back down onto the chair.

He sighed, "I'll just have toast."

"Cheese on toast?" his friend suggested.

"Sure," he replied dismissively. He really wasn't fussed what he had to eat, he just wanted to get to bed but that meant eating so he could have the meds. He certainly didn't want to wake up with a crippling headache like he had done previously. He sat slumped in the kitchen chair and watched Severide make four slices of cheese on toast. Severide did make a good cheese on toast. It didn't take long before Severide put a plate with two slices of toast on the table in front of him and a moment later a glass of water and Severide sat down in front of him with his own plate. He slowly ate most of the toast, just leaving a couple of crusts, as Severide spoke about Shays latest coconut water craze and how it was taking up the majority of space in their fridge however if his friend said anything else he didn't know as his mind drifted off into nothing.

His attention was brought back to the present when Severide passed him the clear plastic bag carrying his medication. He sighed as he opened the zip lock bag to retrieve the two containers he needed, "At least it's only for a few weeks," Severide said with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah," he replied glumly, staring at the containers before tipping two painkillers into his hand and then one anticonvulsant before knocking the three pills back with a swig of water, "…Then back to normal," he said with a forced smile. At the moment it felt like things would never been normal again but he hoped that after a few good night's sleep in his house he would feel much better, much more in control and much stronger. "Well thank you for the lift back and the toast," he said, hoping Severide would take the hint to leave so he could have a quick shower and get to bed.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Severide grinned.

"I'm just gonna shower and get to bed. Not up for entertaining guests tonight, Kelly," he explained.

"Have a shower, I'll wait, don't lock the door... I don't want to have to break it down if I hear a thud," Severide jested lightly.

"I'll be fine," he said, but his actions proved otherwise. As he stood up from the kitchen chair his body failed him yet again and he had to lean back on the wall as his body swayed and his vision tilted.

"Oh yeah, totally fine," Severide joked, "Come on, I'll stay just until you're in bed, it'll make me feel better knowing you're not going to fall over and crack your head..." Severide stood up and went over to him as he was still leaning on the wall and offered an arm.

"I'm good," he brushed past his friend and walked slowly to the bathroom, careful not to falter in front of Severide again. He grabbed some boxers and pyjama bottoms on the way.

"Shout if you need anything," Severide said as Casey entered the bathroom. He started the shower before he slowly stripped off, with one hand on the sink to balance himself. The bathroom began to steam up, covering the mirror and window with a thin white sheen. He left the various plasters on where the IVs had been but he took the bandage off his right wrist. He then took the white gauze that covered the small section at back of his head and felt along the incision line with his left hand before carefully stepping into the shower.

Standing under the steady warm stream of the shower felt blissful. After a moment he had to stretch out an arm to the tiled wall to steady himself. He let the water cascade down his back. The heat of the water soothed his aching neck. He squeezed a large amount of shower gel onto his hand and began to wash away the hospital smell from his body. Using a small amount of shampoo, careful not to put it directly on the incision line, he washed his hair. Putting an arm back on the wall to steady himself he closed his eyes and continued to enjoy the hot water comforting his aching body. He didn't know how long he had been in the shower when there was a knock on the door, "Casey? You all right?" he heard Severides concerned voice through the closed bathroom door.

"Nearly done," he said, a little annoyed that he was being checked on but he sighed and realised he would being doing the same to Severide if the situation had been reversed. He stepped out of the shower warily and dried himself with a towel, careful not to bend down too suddenly or up too fast to prevent becoming dizzy and lightheaded. After getting dressed he grabbed his first aid kit and replaced the bandages, the plaster on the top of his right hand was now hanging off so he ripped it off but didn't replace it.

He left the bathroom to find Severide sitting down and flipping through a magazine, "Feel better?"

"Much," he replied tiredly and began walking to his bedroom, "Right well thanks again," he said as he stood at the door to his room.

"I'll lock up and come over tomorrow?" Severide said.

"Sure," he replied and entered his bedroom, closing the door behind himself before he closed the curtains and got into bed. It didn't take long for him to drift off to sleep. He was happy to be clean and back in his own bed.

Casey woke up slowly and gradually became aware of another presence. It took a few moments after he blearily opened his eyes to remember he was no longer in hospital.

"Morning," he heard Dawson's voice announce cheerfully.

"Hey," he croaked out and shook his head to clear the grogginess and took his arms out of the warmth of the bed and pushed down the duvet from his shoulders as Dawson sat down at the end of the bed.

"Sleep well?" Dawson asked.

"Yeah I guess," he assumed he must have slept well; he glanced round to check the time.

"It's just after nine," Dawson stated, he'd slept for such a long time, "I brought breakfast, want it in bed?"

"Oh, no," he replied quickly, he hated eating in the hospital bed and there was no way he was going to do that at home, he pushed to covers off and got up off the bed but as soon he was stood up straight a wave of dizziness hit him and he started to fall back but Dawson was suddenly in front of him, she grabbed his shoulders and steadied him as he sat down on the edge of the bed, he kept his head down and his eyes closed as he waited for the nausea that now twisted within him to subside.

"Matt, baby? You ok?" Dawson asked with worry evident in her voice.

"Yeah, sorry, just stood up to fast," he muttered, "I'm fine," he reiterated and looked up to her and smiled. He felt shaky and nauseous but the waves of dizziness that had forced him back down had gone. "You said you brought breakfast?" he smiled, changing the subject.

"Yeah, more bagels, the new deli near my place has a great selection," she explained as he slowly got back up, wary of Dawson's watchful eyes as he grabbed a t-shirt and put it on, wincing slightly as it passed over his stiff neck.

They sat at the dining table and had breakfast before he got up carefully and took his medication with a drink of water. He went back to the table to clear up their plates, "I'll do it," Dawson interrupted him, and she stood up and tidied breakfast away as he went and sat down on the sofa.

"You need me to get any food or anything today?" Dawson asked him as she sat down next to him.

"Nah, pretty sure Cindy has me supplied meals for months and months!" he joked, he felt more much awake now he'd had breakfast, "Do you have any plans today?" he asked.

"I need to pop by the academy and drop some forms off later but that's about it," Dawson replied and he remembered how she'd been accepted to do her firefighter training, he didn't remember her deciding that she was going to go ahead with it.

"You're doing it?" he blurted out, he hadn't meant to, he didn't know how much he'd had missed before the accident and really didn't want to reveal to anyone the extent of the memory loss. He hoped in a few days he'd remember, his doctor had said any memories that were hazy may come back to him, so he was just going to wait until that happened, although most of the memories were non-existent not hazy but he didn't want to worry anyone.

Dawson looked a little uncomfortable, "Erm, yeah, I'm sorry about before," she began softly, Matt didn't know what she was talking about and it must have showed on his face as she explained herself, "…before the call, we shouldn't have argued…I should have taken your advice but I was just excited about it and so was Shay so I'm sorry that I never asked anyone else about it."

"Don't be sorry. It's your choice…I'll just worry about you, I mean, I worry when you're in the ambo…I'll worry even more if you're on a truck…" he said truthfully.

"You don't need to protect me, baby," she replied, taking his hand gently, "I can look after myself."

"I know you can. That doesn't mean I won't worry though," he explained, and in the back of his mind he surprised himself by thinking that she might not pass the training and berated himself for even thinking that. He was going to be supportive of her with whatever she chose to do. "When do you start?" he smiled to cover the doubts he had and the worry he felt.

"Second week of January, about six weeks away," She smiled.

"My six weeks will be up then," he said thinking out loud.

"Six weeks?" She questioned.

"I'll be back at work," he stated.

"That's…soon," she said with concern.

"Trust me, it's not. I'm tired and sore at the moment but I'll be a hundred percent soon and then I'll just be waiting until I'm given the all clear from the doc, he said six weeks," he smiled as he explained.

"Don't rush it. Do you know how serious your injury was?" Dawson asked incredulously

"What?" he frowned, shocked at how she'd asked, "I know…But now I'm home and getting better," he spoke softly. After his first check up in a few days he hoped he'd be allowed to start doing some construction work, until then he was going to start designing the library for Nathans school that Severide had suggested. Although he thought that maybe he would start on that project tomorrow after he had some more sleep. Talking with Dawson was starting to tire him out. It was exhausting just to keep concentrating on what she was saying, never mind, talking back. It never crossed his mind that it would take a while for him to recover and find day to day things, like having a conversation, effortless again. He assumed that once his body felt stronger and there were no more headaches or dizziness everything would go back to normal and he would just be waiting to get back to his truck. He turned his attention from his own thoughts back to Dawson, he saw a look of disbelief mixed with worry on her face, "What is it?" he asked softly.

He watched as she shook her head, "Nothing," she replied simply, "I'm glad you're feeling better. It was scary seeing you in hospital."

"Well, it wasn't exactly fun for me either," he grinned tiredly, "I'm glad I'm home and with you," he said. Dawson got up to get drinks and, feeling tired, he pulled his legs up onto the sofa and was almost curled up when she got placed two glasses of juice on the coffee table, he gazed tiredly at her as she grabbed the TV remote before sitting down at the other end of the sofa. The TV turned on and he watched the channels change as Dawson looked for something to watch but he found that he was unable to keep his eyes open any longer and he quickly fell asleep just after he felt a blanket being placed over his body.

 **TBC**


	11. Eleven

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks so much again for the reviews and follows! I really hope you like this little chapter! _  
_  
 **Eleven**

 _Friday 22nd November 2013_  
 _Mid-day **  
**_

Casey could hear the TV as he slowly woke up. He was lying on his left hand side. When he opened his eyes he was happy to discover he was not in the hospital and remembered he'd been discharged to rest up at home. After a few moments waiting for the fog of sleep to dissipate and his vision to clear he realised he was on the sofa in his lounge. His feet were elevated on something comfy. Slowly he moved onto his back and pushed himself slightly upright onto his elbows to find he feet were tucked under the end of the blanket and resting on Dawson's legs, "Hey, sleepyhead," she spoke softly.

"Hey," he croaked out, and noticed his throat felt sore again, he wondered if he'd just slept with his mouth open or was coming down with a cold, "Have I been out long?" he garbled his words tiredly as he asked, he hoped he hadn't been asleep for too long.

"It's nearly lunch time," Dawson explained.

"Oh," he mumbled, disappointed that he'd slept most the morning.

"You need sleep," Dawson stated with a smile, "Your body is still healing," she explained.

"My body clock is going to be completely out of whack," he groaned and sat up a little more.

"You'll get back into routine soon, you just need to take it easy and rest," she said gently, "And I know you find that hard!" She grinned, "but you'll be doing all your normal things soon... For now you can just... Take up knitting or something," she joked, "Just think; together we can make everyone homemade socks for Christmas."

"Oh yeah, I can totally see that happening..." he grinned, "I may as well just give people a ball of wool and knitting needles..." he laughed at himself. Dawson smiled broadly, not a sympathetic smile, but a genuinely happy smile, "What?"

"First time I've heard you laugh for ages," she said, "And you have the best smile," she grinned.

"Come here," he said, leaning over to pull her over to him so she would be lying in front of him on the sofa. He lay with his arms around her and closed his eyes; his head had begun throbbing dully.

"This is nice, I missed this," Dawson said happily.

"Mmm... me too," he mumbled.

"You didn't have chance to get it on with any of the nurses then?" she teased.

"Who do think I am?" he asked in mock disbelief.

"Hot fireman like you, thought they'd be all over you," she continued playfully.

"Oh yeah, catheters are such a turn on, got all the ladies," he joked tiredly. Casey continued to keep his eyes closed, in attempt to stop the throbbing in his head before it could potentially become worse, as Dawson continued to watch the programme she must have started when he had fallen asleep.

"When do have to leave?" he wondered out loud.

"Not yet," Dawson replied, "Why are you getting fed up of me?" she joked.

"No," he said honestly, "I could lie here with you forever," he noticed how his words had started to slur together. It had happened a lot during his hospital stay and he had assumed it was an effect from the narcotics, but now he assumed it was tiredness despite having just woken up from a short sleep.

"I thought you didn't want to just lie down and sleep?" she mocked gently.

"Huh?" he mumbled, having lost the thread of the conversation for a moment. Dawson repeated herself before he replied, "Oh…Don't mind sleeping with you… just Kelly said he was coming round today," he opened his eyes and continued, "Probably shouldn't just be sleeping together when he gets here. He has a key and will just let himself in…" he said and he could picture his friend walking in on the two of them snuggled on the sofa.

"Yeah he mentioned to me he was going to come over, I'll just go when he gets here, I won't be need to be long and we can have dinner together," she said.

"Oh yeah," He replied, "Have you two been devising a babysitting schedule?" he asked half-jokingly, knowing how in the past Severide and Hallie and planned together to keep an eye on him after various incidents and injuries.

"It's not like that Matt," Dawson exasperated, "But you haven't even been out of hospital for 24 hours yet!" she finished with concern eminent in her voice.

"I was fine last night," he insisted, however he didn't know that Severide had stayed later than he'd originally planned to.

"I know baby," she said dismissively, "You wanna watch something?" She offered him the TV remote.

"Nah, got a bit of a headache," the words had slipped tiredly out his mouth before he even realised.

"Oh why didn't you say? I'll get your painkillers," she said and immediately stood up from the sofa leaving him with his right arm stretched over the empty space she had just been occupying in front of him.

He sighed, "I don't want any, it's not a massive headache, I can just ride it out," he explained as he pushed the blanket away and sat properly on the sofa as if to prove the point that he was indeed fine.

"But you don't want to focus on the TV?" she questioned with her eyebrows raised, "They're just painkillers, you'll feel much better."

"…I didn't like the morphine," he stated with some annoyance laced in his tone, he noticed that he was struggling to hold back his feelings when he was tired ever since he woke up in the hospital.

"These are no way near as strong…" she hesitated, "They're not making you sleepy or nauseous are they?" she asked with concern.

"No," he muttered with his eyes downcast.

"You're not gonna get addicted to them, Matt," she stated as if she'd just been reading his thoughts, "You may have a bit of an obsessive personality but the doctors won't let you, and nor will I, ok?" She didn't wait for a response from him before she left him sat on the sofa feeling rather sorry for himself. He just wanted to be left to his own devices, to do decide what he could do and when. "Here," Dawson announced, she had sat down beside him and was holding a fresh glass of water and two pills. He took them with no further protest.

"Hey, why don't I come with you to the academy? Be nice to get out for a little bit," he said smiling as the idea sprung to mind.

"Oh, I'm literally just dropping forms off and signing something, Matt," she explained quite awkwardly, and he realised it probably wasn't the best thing to suggest seeing as he was tired but he wanted to prove to her that he was fine and wasn't going to need to be constantly checked on.

"Don't do that face... I can't say no to face Matt and you know it," he grinned sheepishly, "Bet you could have a got away with murder with your par... oh God, Matt I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he replied still smiling, "And I so could, just flash my smile and I could get away with anything," he joked, "so can I join you then?"

"I'm not sure baby, I mean..." she spoke hesitantly.

"Doc didn't say I was confined to the house Gabby," he said bluntly.

"Yes, but I'm not sure taking a trip out when you've been back less than 24 hours was recommended either," she said.

"He said to take it easy and rest... I can do that in the car," he explained.

There was a knock at the door, "Casey, it's me," he heard Severides voice call out and the clatter of keys as his friend began to let himself in. "Hey you two," he announced as he entered the lounge, "Thought I'd come and scrounge lunch off you, I'm not too late am I?"

"No, we've not had anything yet," Dawson spoke before he had chance so he stood up from the sofa, only to be hit by wave of dizziness but he masked it quickly and continued to walk carefully to the kitchen whilst offering Severide a drink. Once in the kitchen he placed his hands over the counter and closed his eyes as he waited for the light-headedness to leave him.

"You ok?" Severide was stood next to him. He hadn't heard him following behind.

"Yeah," he brushed off his friends concern, "What do you want to drink?"

"Water's fine," Severide replied, he was still stood close to him as if he thought he would fall so he moved quickly away to grab a glass to fill it with water before passing it to him and going back to lounge. The tickle at the back of throat had started to feel worse and he was fairly certain he would wake up with a cold tomorrow morning, so far this winter he'd escaped one despite Cruz bringing his sickly self into work a few weeks ago before he had decided to send him home.

Back in the lounge he watched as Dawson folded up the blanket and placed it over the back of the sofa, "I'm going to get to going," she announced, "Leave you two to watch sports and man stuff," she joked, "And you," she indicated to him, "Rest!" she exclaimed and left through the front door, leaving him and Severide stood in the lounge.

He looked to Severide and saw his friend's eyebrows raised in question and small smile was spread across his lips, Matt shrugged in response and sat down on the sofa, "Apparently sitting in a car isn't resting," he explained begrudgingly.

"Ah sorry man," Severide replied, though he didn't think he sounded very sorry, "You are meant to be taking it easy until your check-up though aren't you?" Casey didn't even bother replying and just shot his friend a look of warning; he didn't want to talk about. Severide threw his arms up in mock surrender and changed the subject, "Lunch?"

"Sure," he replied and soon enough Severide had laid out a little picnic spread on the coffee table for them both nibble at.

"I brought a some DVDs over," Severide said as he sat down and pulled some DVDs out a bag, "Vertical Limit, Die Hard, Daylight or…"

"Daylight?" he laughed, "That's an old one isn't it?"

"Hey I thought you liked it!" Severide grinned.

"Guilty," he replied slowly, still grinning tiredly, "It's not that bad!" he laughed at expression on Severides face, "And besides, if you don't like it why do you have a copy of it?"

"It's yours," Severide replied, "You brought it over when I was off work with my shoulder… and I believe we had a similar conversation about it then!"

"Yeah, yeah, well put it on…" he smirked, "It's my choice right? … and it's a good film, I like it!" he reiterated but just as he finished he couldn't hold back a couple of dry coughs, Severide passed him his glass of water and he took a sip and felt the cold water go down his sore throat.

"All right?" Severide asked.

He sighed, "Yeah…Think I'm just getting a cold," he said, unimpressed at the bad timing which the cold chose to arrive, at least he was already stuck at home, although he had only ever once had to take some time off a few winters ago when his regular cold developed into bronchitis.

Severide set up the film and as it played they both nibbled at the food off the coffee table before Casey pulled his legs up onto the sofa to get more comfortable and it wasn't long until he fell asleep listening to sounds of the film and irritated by the dryness of his throat as he drifted off.

In what felt like no time at all Casey found himself sat up on the sofa with Severides face looking at him questioningly. He could have sworn he was just watching the film and closed his eyes to rest and now here he was sat up on the sofa, there was a blanket sprawled on the floor in front of his feet and there was now a hockey match on the TV. "What?" he said sleepily, his throat sounded awful and felt like it had when he'd woken up in the hospital.

"Gabby's back..." Severide said with concern and cast a worried look towards Dawson who he now noticed was stood to his left.

"Matt, baby... are you ok?" No, he wanted to say, he had no idea what had just happened, he wanted to put it down tiredness but as far as he was aware he had fallen asleep during the film, "You look exhausted still, want to get into bed?" maybe more rest would help, he wondered, the doctor had said to have plenty of rest and to sleep whenever he wanted too and not to worry about his sleeping pattern for the first few weeks.

"Sure," he mumbled in response and he stood up carefully with Severides arm on his and was led to his room, he didn't protest. He just wanted to close his eyes and for all of this to be over.

 **TBC**


	12. Twelve

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Hope you like this update and thank you so much again for the lovely reviews! _  
_  
 **Twelve**

 _Friday 22nd November 2013_  
 _Early evening_

Something was pulling Casey back from the black abyss that was his sleep. There was a gentle nudging on his shoulder which grew more and more persistent. He tried to move away from the irritating movement but it kept on jostling him. He cracked open his eyes to discover what was disturbing him. In the darkness and with his blurry vision he could just about make out Dawson's face in close proximity to his. He wondered what was wrong and why she was waking him from the blissful world of sleep.

"Hey," his voice sounded awful. It croaked and scratched. He coughed to clear his throat only to cause a quick dry coughing fit before he could ask; "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Am I ok? I'm not the one coughing my guts out, baby," she said with a small sigh, his vision eventually cleared but he couldn't see much more in the darkness of his bedroom, "It's nearly time for dinner, thought you'd want to wake up a bit before you ate," she explained softly, "How's your head? Headache gone?"

"Uh huh," he mumbled in response, still half asleep. His headache had gone but now he felt stuffy and full of cold.

"Do you want something heating up or I can make us some pasta?" she asked. Casey just wanted to fall back to sleep and wake up on his own terms but Dawson seemed determined.

"Erm... pasta? Are you staying?" he asked sleepily.

"Yeah, thought we might as well have the night together as I'm not working at the bar and I'm on shift tomorrow," she said, "I'll get the pasta started... if I leave you here are you just going to fall back to sleep?" she said with a small smile.

"Uh huh," he mumbled again, he didn't see the point in lying. He didn't really want to get up and eat.

"Come on," she insisted and pulled the bed cover off him, "Get up and have a shower, you'll feel better," she said before leaving the room and as she left he snorted dejectedly in response. With the covers now out of reach he had no choice but to get up but as soon as he did he fell right down to his knees with a grunt, "Matt?" he heard Dawson's voice call out from the kitchen with concern.

"I'm fine," he called back quickly through gritted teeth, still on his knees by the side of the bed, waiting for the world to stop swaying around him. Eventually the world steadied and using the set of draws to help him he carefully got to his feet, grabbed some fresh clothes and went to the bathroom.

He showered, dried and was putting on some sweatpants and a hoody when there was a knock on the bathroom door, "Matt?"

"Come in," he said and Dawson opened the door, letting the steam escape out. The shower had made him feel slightly better; it had cleared his airways and soothed his aching body. He saw her get out the first aid kit from the bathroom cabinet as he finished getting dressed, leaning heavily on the wall.

"Sit down," she instructed him so he sat down on the toilet seat, Dawson took hold of his head gently and Casey could feel her soft fingers on the base of his head inspecting the incision line, "Looks good, no sign of infection, how's it feel?"

"Fine, I guess," he replied dismissively, a little embarrassed with all the fuss. He turned his head, knocking away Dawson's hand, her eyebrows were raised with disbelief, "Well, it itches a bit," he admitted.

"I can't put anything on it until the stitches are out, sorry baby," she said apologetically as she began to tape a new gauze pad over the wound.

"I'll survive," he laughed, "Don't worry."

"How's your wrist?" she indicated to his right wrist.

He stared at the top of his right hand trying to recall what he had done to his wrist. Dawson took his hand gently and turned it over to reveal the small wound left by the… his mind was drawing blanks, "Oh the…" the words slipped out his mouth before he could stop them and he trailed off into silence hoping to be ignored my Dawson who was inspecting the wound.

"…arterial line," she smiled, he thought that was good, it was something he wouldn't have necessarily known about so Dawson didn't seem at all concerned about him, "It looks good, I'm not going to put anything on it," she explained and then added solemnly, "It must have hurt."

It had hurt but he smiled and said, "I was pretty out of it," the words slurred together as if to prove his point.

"I think you still are," she teased, "Dinner should be nearly ready, come on," she said urging him out the bathroom to the dining room table where Dawson had put down place mats, utensils, and drinks. Matt saw the two pill containers next to his glass of water.

"Nothing else to drink?" he asked, disappointed to be faced with yet another glass of water.

"You can't have any alcohol or caffeine, baby," she called from the kitchen where he could hear the gentle clatter of pans and plates as she finished preparing their dinner.

"Spoilt sport," he muttered jokily.

"Hey I heard that," Dawson said as she came out of the kitchen carrying two full pasta bowls, she placed one down in front of him, "I may have overestimated the amount of pasta I needed," she said as she sat down with her bowl. The pasta was nearly overflowing from both their bowls, "Well, tuck in," she encouraged, "And I hope you like it," she added.

"I always like your cooking. You always do very well with the little ingredients I have in," he grinned and picked up his fork to begin the mammoth task of eating all that was in the bowl. He was full before he'd had half the pasta in the bowl. He took at the pills he needed from the containers and swallowed them down with the glass of water.

"Don't want any more?" Dawson asked him in between taking bites of her pasta.

"I'd love more," he admitted tiredly, "But I'm absolutely stuffed," he smiled.

"I'll put it in a container and leave it in the fridge; then you can finish it tomorrow," she said and he just smiled in response and they sat in silence as Dawson ate her dinner. When she had eaten most of her pasta he stood up to clear the table but Dawson placed her hand on his as he was about to take her bowl, "I've got it Matt." He slumped back down onto the dining table chair and sighed, feeling completely and utterly useless as he watch Dawson clear the table. Once the table was clear he heard Dawson running the tap in the kitchen, determined to help he stood up carefully and made his way to the kitchen. Dawson had started washing up, he crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to startle her whilst she was holding one of the dirty dishes, and he kissed her neck and then offered to dry. She passed him a dishcloth and he started drying the items she had already washed and he placed them on the counter ready to be tidied away. He had just wiped dry a clear glass tumbler and was placing it down on the worktop when there was a loud smash. The glass tumbler was now shattered, bits were glistening under the superficial kitchen light and scattered around his sock clad feet. He could have sworn he had released his hold on the glass once he'd placed it on the counter, "Matt?" Dawson's worried voice caught his attention. She was holding his shoulders, "Don't move," she instructed before she bent down with a dustpan and brush, he wondered when she had got them out. He watched her clean up the glass, mesmerised by the light gleaming off the little shards, "There, all done," she said as she tipped the dustpan of glass shards into the kitchen bin.

Dawson handed him back the dishcloth that he could not remember dropping but rather than continuing to dry the dishes he placed it on the worktop, "Sorry, I'm just going to go to bed," he muttered before he walked slowly away from her and to the bedroom. He had no idea that he'd left Dawson gazing after him, full of concern. He entered his bedroom and closed the door behind him and stood behind it in the darkness, still holding on to the door handle. He felt like a mess right now. His head was stuffy, his body was sore and he couldn't even get out of bed or dry the dishes without causing alarm. He sighed, slowly took his clothes off so he was just left in his boxers, and then retreated into the safety of his bed. He didn't sleep. He lay on his left hand side with his eyes wide open in the darkness. Images of himself falling, the glass on the floor and lying in the hospital bed ran through his head and he thought he could hear a baby crying.

There was a gentle tapping at the door, "Matt?" he heard Dawson call out quietly. He didn't reply. He continued to lie silently under the bed covers. Light spread across the room as the door opened silently before he heard the quiet movement of feet walking towards his side of the bed. Dawson's concerned face appeared in front of his. He didn't focus on her. She searched for his hand in the duvet cocoon he had made and squeezed it comfortingly, kissing him lightly on the forehead.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Dawson let go of his hand and ran her hand soothingly through his hair, "You've got nothing to apologise for baby," she said gently.

"…I'm sorry," he slurred out again, having completely forgotten that he had only just said the exact two words.

He noted Dawson's worried gaze highlighted by the light beaming into the bedroom from the rest of the house as she replied, "I know but you've got nothing to apologise for," he didn't believe her but he was too tired and saw no point in saying so, "Close your eyes," she said soothingly and as he drifted off to the land of sleep he felt her hand comfortingly on his forehead.

Casey woke with a start, he had no idea why. Remembering his past experiences of moving too quickly he relaxed back into the matrass. There was a weight on his right side. He moved slightly to turn on the bedside lamp, the artificial light blinded his already blurry vision and forced him to clamp his eye lids closed before he was ready to reopen them and adjust to the brightness. He discovered that the weight on his side was Dawson's arm. She was lying next to him. He moved carefully onto his back so he didn't disturb her sleep and let his head fall to the right to see Dawson asleep on her left hand side. He didn't know how long he lay awake looking at her with his unfocussed tired eyes. There was a tickle at the back of his throat growing worse and worse until he couldn't hold back the cough any longer. One cough was not enough, his body continued to cough and his chest heaved and his eyes watered. Dawson's arm had moved away from its resting placed on his stomach, he wasn't sure if it had just fallen or if she was waking up but she moved slightly and he heard a very tired voice, "Baby?"

"Shh," he replied softly, "Go back to sleep," and she did. Casey lay on his back for a few moments longer before rolling gently onto his side. He fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

As Matt slowly emerged from the black abyss of sleep he could hear someone moving around, he assumed it was Dawson, as far as he was aware no one else was with him. His head was stuffy and throbbing dully, his nose was blocked and his throat felt raw. He owned his eyes but clamped that shut straight away, the morning that sun assaulted his head, "Sorry, Matt, I've closed the blinds, just needed to see in my bag," he heard Dawson explain. He opened his eyes again. Dawson sat at the end of the bed and placed a hand on his leg, "Sleep ok?" she asked and he nodded positively in response. "I've got time to make breakfast or do you want cereal?" she asked but he didn't respond, instead he rolled onto his right side and pulled the covers further up to his chin, "Come on Matt, you need to have something to eat, you can go back to sleep afterwards."

He sighed realising that she wasn't go to just leave him alone to fall back to sleep. He pushed away the covers and felt chilled instantly as the air hit his nearly nude body. He sat up on the side of the bed and was passed some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a hoody. He dressed and then carefully stood up, mindful to keep any dizziness as bay; he went over to the set of draws and grabbed some socks before sitting back down on the bed and slipping them over his feet. When he entered the kitchen he a glass of juice on the table, he sat down and a took a few sips, "Did you want me to make something?" Dawson asked.

He cleared his throat, "I'll just have cereal," he croaked out.

"I should get chance pick up some throat sweets and Vicks and drop them off at some point today," she said as he stood up slowly to sort out his breakfast, he felt Dawson's eyes on him as he carefully took the milk out of the fridge, placing it on the counter next to the bowl before reaching about the fridge for a box of cereal, he winced as his neck twinged. But was soon sat back at the table with a full bowl of cereal, Dawson placed his medication on the table in front of him before kissing him on the forehead and telling him to take it easy today before she said goodbye and went to work. He heard the front door close behind her and he put down the spoon, got out the pills and swallowed them down with the orange juice before easting a few more spoonful's of cereal. He left the bowl by the side of the sink and lay on the sofa with the intention of watching the TV but he found himself falling asleep before he even picked up the remote.

 **TBC**


	13. Thirteen

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Hope you like this chapter and thanks again for all the reviews and follows! Really appreciate them! _  
_  
 **Thirteen**

 _Saturday 23rd November 2013_  
 _Late morning_ **  
**

Casey was woken up by the sound of knocking at his front door. As he slowly adjusted to consciousness he heard the clatter of keys and then felt a cold breeze escape into the house as the door was opened. Severide was suddenly stood in front of him, wearing his turnout trousers and quilted jacket, carrying a white paper bag. Casey could only imagine what a sight he looked like, he may have showered last night but he had not done anything to his hair since, and it had a habit of sticking up all over the place if he left it alone, no matter what length it was. His nose was blocked. His mouth was open slightly so he could breath as he sat partially upright on the sofa in his sweatpants and hoody. He must have looked like quite a sight indeed compared to his usually well kempt appearance.

"Morning… well, just," Severide said with a grin as he placed the white paper bag on the coffee table in front of him, Casey frowned and looked blearily around to discover the time, "It's nearly twelve," Severide provided just as his eyes had managed to focus on the clock on the wall.

"Oh," he'd slept through the whole morning again; he leant back on the sofa and sighed.

"You slept all morning then?" Severide asked with a little concern in his voice.

"Apparently," he replied disappointedly before he was unable to hold back a couple of coughs.

Severide indicated to the white paper bag that was now on the coffee table, "Throat sweets and Vicks," he explained, "Dawson picked them up on her way to the house but they've been out on calls all morning so I thought we'd do a fuel run and drop them off," he nodded towards the lounge window and Matt could see the squad truck parked outside his house.

"Slow shift then?" he croaked out tiredly.

"So far," Severide replied.

Casey felt quiet self-conscious that the rest of Squad 3 were sat outside waiting for their lieutenant even though logically he knew if he were in their shoes he wouldn't mind, he looked towards the squad truck again as he spoke, "You should prob…"

He was interrupted by the crackle of Severides radio, "Squad 3. Person trapped. 245 Washington Avenue."

"Duty calls," Severide smiled at him and left house whilst replying into the radio, "Copy that main," before turning back to him, "See ya later."

He heard the front door close behind Severide as he left and watched through the window as he got into the squad and they drove off with lights and sirens blaring. Matt knew he should probably get something ready to eat but he wasn't hungry yet so he grabbed the white paper bag and pulled out the throat sweets to soothe his raw throat and clear his airways. He turned the TV on and began watching one of the games he had recorded. Soon his head began to throb dully from the strain of focusing on the bright screen. He got up carefully and pulled the blinds and curtains shut to block out the light from the outside world. He faltered slightly as he walked back to the sofa where he spent the rest of the afternoon drifting in and out of sleep with the TV playing in the background.

Casey was sat up on the sofa when he heard his phone ringing but he had no idea where it was. He put the TV on mute to help locate where the sound was coming from. Slowly he got up, the pain in his head was much more intense now, and he swayed slightly before he walked to the kitchen to grab a couple of painkillers. The phone had stopped ringing. He opened the pill container only to hear the phone ring again. This time the sound was much closer and he went into his bedroom, leaving the pot of painkillers open on the kitchen table, he saw his phone on top of the desk of draws. It was Dawson. He accepted to call, "Hello," he croaked out, his sore throat barely made a sound after its non-use for most of the day.

 _"Matt, are you ok? I've called a few times and left messages..."_ She sounded slightly frantic on the end of the line.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, my phones just been in my room all day, sorry, did you want something?" he asked tiredly.

 _"Just wanted to see how you were doing,"_ she replied in a much calmer tone.

"Fine, just been watching TV since Severide dropped by," he explained, "Busy shift?" he asked.

 _"Yeah, it's been manic, seem to have been in and out of the house all day, if we get chance we'll call in on the way back from our next call,"_ she said.

"Nah don't worry about it, I'm not even bored," he said and it was true although he was fairly certain if he could stay awake for longer periods of time he would be bored stuck on the sofa unable to do anything.

 _"Are you sure? Shay won't mind,"_ Dawson replied.

"Yeah I'm sure," he reassured her.

 _"Right ok if you're sure,"_ She said, _"Have you done much today?"_ she probed.

"Nope," he sighed, "I've followed the doctor's orders Gabby; you don't need to worry about me in top of everything else," he said to put her at ease. He didn't like it when others worried about him especially when there were more important things to be doing, like concentrating on the job or on others who needed help.

 _"Ok, if you want tomorrow I can pick up some nice sandwiches from the deli near mine and we can have lunch together after I've seen my brother,"_ she suggested.

"Sure. Sounds good," he said noncommittedly, he wasn't fussed either way about the idea and he was sure everyone would be happy if he just accepted what he was told, "Are you working tomorrow night?" he slurred out.

" _Yeah but I can ask Herrm…"_ she began.

"No, it's fine, I was just wondering," he said.

 _"You sound tired,"_ she stated.

"Yeah, I'm probably going to have dinner and get an early night," he responded with a yawn as if his body decided to emphasize his tiredness.

 _"I'll let you get on then,"_ she said softly, _"I'll call you in the morning."_

"Hope the rest of shift is good," he replied before they said goodbye to each other. Casey put down the phone and the coughing fit he had been holding back took hold, making his eyes water and his chest ache. The throbbing in his head was still there but he dismissed it, assuming the painkillers just hadn't kicked in yet.

Walking into the kitchen he saw the painkillers open on the table, he closed the pot and put them back in the clear plastic bag with the anticonvulsants, remembering he shouldn't have had any of the meds on an empty stomach he heated up the pasta left over from last night. After eating most of the pasta he left the dirty dish on the table and walked slowly to his bedroom, his headache continued to grow in intensity, he staggered and clung to the wall as he made his way to his bed. He was thankful to be in the darkness of his room as he pulled the covers up over himself and closed his eyes hoping the pain medication kicked in as he slept.

He drifted fitfully in and out of consciousness throughout the night. At one point he felt nausea wash over him and tried to get out of bed to make his way to the bathroom but his body felt incredibly weak and he collapsed under the weight of the bed covers. He had no concept of the passage of time as lay breathing heavily in the darkened room attacked by coughing fits. Eventually he saw light creep into the room though the small gap in the curtains.

His head throbbed fiercely and nausea assaulted him. Slowly he pushed the covers away with a weak arm. He took a few deep breaths in an attempt to alleviate the nausea. Carefully he moved his legs off the bed so that his feet touched the cold floor as he slowly sat up. As soon as Casey stood up the world came crashing down around him. Before he hit the bedroom floor he heard a sickening thud that sounded far, far away before he fell into darkness.

Someone was groaning, he couldn't move, his head felt like it was on fire, his chest felt like it was burning. He was lying on something cold, hard and wet. He kept wondering who was groaning and why the ground was wet. He wanted to open his eyes but he couldn't, his head hurt too fiercely. He tried to move, to get away from the cold and wet floor. He was in agony and realised the groaning he could hear was his own.

There was movement in the room; there was someone with him now. He didn't know how long he had been lying on the cold in debilitating pain. He didn't even try to open his eyes to discover who now gripped his shoulder in what should have been comforting but he would have shrugged them away if he had the strength; he was in pain and he didn't want to be touched. Far off in the distance, away from all the pain, he could hear someone talking frantically but he thought there was only one person with him.

He cracked open his eyes. The room was now light. The brightness forced him to shut his eyes closed again. "Matt?" he heard his name being called frantically, urging him to open his eyes again, to tell the voice what was wrong. He couldn't, he didn't want to open his mouth in fear that if he did he would scream or maybe he already was screaming. He could hear footsteps now and more frantic talking. A light was being shone into his eyes. "Matt?" The same voice was calling to him again, "Talk to me, bud, what hurts?" the voice persisted.

"Everything," he blurted out through gritted teeth before the world grew dim and he fell back into unconsciousness.

 **TBC**


	14. Fourteen

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks again for the reviews! I'm so happy you are enjoying this story!

 **Fourteen**

S _unday 24th November 2013_  
 _Morning **  
**_

"Casey? Case?" a familiar voice brought him back to consciousness. There was an annoying pressure on his chest, thankfully it ceased as he cracked open his eyes. His vision was blurry but he could knew there was flurry of movement happening around him. "Casey?" the voice brought his attention back from the room around him, "Stay with me," the voice commanded softly.

Stay with me? He wondered, "Not going anywhere," he managed to stutter out.

"Matt, what do you remember?" a different, unfamiliar voice asked, "Did you hit your head?"

"My head?" he stammered. His head hurt. It was throbbing so fiercely he felt sick. His eyes were running. His breaths were coming quick and short. His heart was hammering in his chest. The pain in his head was so intense he was sure it was going to burst, "Hurts," he mumbled.

"I know, bud, just hang on, you'll be fine soon, I promise," as the words were spoken he finally realised who was on the floor with him as he withered in pain. It was Severide and he was crouched next to him.

There were two others in the room with him but he didn't know who they were or what they were doing, he tried to protest when they started to move him but he was too weak and barely nudged the hands away from his debilitated form, "No," he said faintly, the voice he heard didn't sound like his own; it was far too quiet and weak.

"Matt, just relax, they're just helping, we need to get you into the ambo," Severide insisted, his face was swimming in his eyes and the world span around him.

"No," he protested weakly. The prospect of going back to the hospital was not a pleasant one.

"I know you don't want to but we need to get your head checked out, it's important. I'm staying with you," Severide reassured him and blackness seemed to be creeping in around him, his chest was aching as his breaths continued to come rapidly in and out. He didn't protest as he was moved from the floor to the gurney. He felt a blanket being placed over his body and straps being fastened to secure him. He could barely make out the paramedics with his blurry vision as he began quickly losing his grip on consciousness.

"Matt, I know you're in pain but I need you to take some long deep breaths for me," an unfamiliar voice instructed him and there was a light shining in his eyes again, he clamped his eyes shut to save his head the pain the light seemed to exaggerate, "Matt, open your eyes, the light is gone, I need you follow my finger," he did as he was told, "Good, do you know what happened?"

Through the haze of pain the last thing he remembered was getting out of bed, "Got up," he stammered, hoping that by answering he would be left alone to fall back into peaceful world unconsciousness where there was no pain.

"Do you know where you are?" the voice persisted.

He did know where he was but he just wanted the pain to go away, "Hurts," the word fell out his mouth and he was in too much agony to care who saw the tears roll down his face.

"Take some long deep breaths Matt," the unfamiliar voice commanded and he felt something being slipped over his head and placed over his mouth and nose and the fresh supply of oxygen seemed to briefly raise him back from slipping into unconsciousness once more.

As he was loaded into the back of the ambulance he vaguely heard Severide, "Can't you give him something? He never says he's in pain," and Casey looked blearily at his friend before falling back into unconsciousness.

"…Can you hear me?" an unfamiliar voice brought him out of the black abyss he had succumbed to. His mind was blank, he was in agony. He was in that much pain it was doubtful he could remember his own name. He opened his eyes to discover where he was only to be forced to close them again; the bright lights were offensive to his throbbing head. He tried to move away from the noise and the lights but found his body trapped. He panicked and moved even more, trying to get away from whatever it was holding him down.

"Casey, you're all right, stop moving, you're in the ambo, I'm here and you're ok. Relax," a familiar voice penetrated though his panicked mind and he remembered falling, the cold floor and Severide. He calmed down and cracked his eyes open to see Severide hovering over him.

"Sev…" he drolled out, "… hurts… please…" his words were smothered by the oxygen mask he could feel on his face.

"I know, bud," he heard his friend say softly as he clamped his eyes shut again as a wave of nauseating pain hit him yet more. In what felt like hours but was in fact no time at all the jerking movement of the ambulance stopped and he felt a breeze of fresh air hit his body as the doors were slammed open and his friend spoke softly, "We're here, they'll get you sorted." He was rushed out of the ambulance and into the emergency room, everything happened in a blur of movement around him, there was a familiar prick of a needle, rushed voices, questions were asked but Matt was in too much pain and too far away from the world to care. He didn't know how much time had passed when the agony throughout his body began to dissipate but the world around him seemed no closer to him and he slowly realised that the gradual feeling of bliss was drug induced.

"Matt, can you hear me? You're in the ER, do you remember?" a familiar man asked through the drug induced haze.

"Mmm," Matt managed to acknowledge the man.

"It's Doctor Carter, do you remember me?" the man asked.

"Mmm," he mumbled once more as he remembered the doctor.

"I think you've had PC migraine but you may have hit your head again, no one is sure, you're about to go and have an MRI scan to make sure there's no further damage," the doctor explained but the words seemed to float right through him but he vaguely recalled the sickening thud he heard before he hit the bedroom floor.

"Table…" he muttered as he remembered.

"You remember hitting your head?" the doctor asked.

He thought he remembered hitting his head but he also thought that his head was in agony before he got out of bed, "I dunno," he mumbled, "…had a headache… I thought…" he began thinking out loud, suddenly wondering if he had taken the painkillers when the headache first came on and then wondered if he had even had any of his meds. He felt so disoriented, he could have sworn Severide was with him but he was no longer here. He seemed to be sinking further and further into the bed although he couldn't recall the emergency room bed being so comfy last time he was here; then again he didn't remember the accident and its immediate aftermath. He was barely aware when he was moved and taken for the MRI scan and if had been awake for his previous scans he would have been thankful that he was blissfully unaware of himself and didn't have a care in the world as he lay in the scanner for twenty minutes whilst the machine worked loudly around him. He was lost to the chaotic world as he was taken through hospital hallways and before he closed his weary eyes and allowed sleep to take over he saw Severide by his side.

When he woke up his mind felt like it was pushing through a thick fog, he could have happily stayed under with blissful ignorance but something was helping his head clear. There was a voice but he couldn't make out who it was or what they were saying. He couldn't feel the weight of limbs or feel anything beneath him; he was floating. His eyelids felt laden down as he cracked them open, the room he was lying in was dimmed and smelled sterile, he groaned inwardly as his memories of the ambulance and the emergency room swam back to him.

"Hey, bud," a familiar voice greeted his consciousness, he focused on its location and through his half lidded eyes blearily saw Severide on his right hand side, towering over his weightless form, "You're in hospital," he explained softly, it seemed to take an age for the words to penetrate his drug hazed head, "I'm sorry, I didn't have much choice… Your MRI scan came back good. Does look like you hit your head now though, you've got a nasty bruise. Are you in any pain now?"

He didn't feel anything right now, he could barely feel the bed beneath him and there was definitely no pain. He opened his mouth to reply but no words came out so he slowly moved his head slightly from side to side. He wanted to tell his friend he was fine but the words would surface from his dulled brain.

"Good," Severide said gently and then smirked, "You should be as high as a kite with what you're on right now!"

Drugs; that explained the cotton wool his head felt like it was stuffed full of and the lack of care he felt towards everything right now, "Mmm," he grunted in response and he felt his lips curl into a small smile. His emotions always fell straight through him when he was intoxicated, alcohol and drugs eroded at the carefully erected barrier he held up between the world and his feelings.

"I'll take that as a yes then!" Severide stated and after a few moments he continued as Matt continued to sink into the hospital bed, "I'm glad," he frowned in wonder at his friends words, "I mean…You were in so much pain, I'm happy you're not anymore…" Severide explained, "It was scary Matt… You scared me and you know I don't scare easily. Don't do that to me again," Severide said sombrely.

"Sorry," he slurred out quietly, he hadn't meant to worry anyone.

"It looks like you missed your meds last night…What happened?" his friend asked, full of concern and apprehension, but he didn't have an answer for him; he didn't know what happened. He felt a flush of embarrassment at his apparent inability to perform and remember basic tasks; it felt like he kept missing chunks of time. When he didn't reply his friend continued, "I'm sorry Matt… you just worried me ok? You had a really close call and now you're back here because…" Severide trailed off but he could imagine what he was going to say, "… Look just get some rest, they've got you on fluids because you were dehydrated and they're keeping you in for observation."

"No," he muttered, the word had fallen through him just like his usually carefully hidden emotions displayed themselves in his drug induced phase.

"I know you don't want to Matt, I know you don't like it. It won't be for long and I'm staying with you," Severide reassured him. He frowned, thinking back to just a few days ago and the strict visiting hours that were in place, "I bribed the nurse," Severide supplied and Casey continued to look at him questioningly, "… Not like that," his friend grinned before he could no longer fight back that black edges that crept in around his vision; he let his eyes close and he fell back into the world of sleep.

 **TBC**


	15. Fifteen

**Six Weeks  
**  
 _A/N_ Thanks again for your reviews! Hope you like this new chapter!

 **Fifteen**

 _Sunday 24th November 2013_  
 _Mid-day_

Casey realised two things as he slowly woke up, pushing through the drug induced haze that clouded his mind and dulled his senses. One, there was someone with him, he could hear the sound of magazine pages being turned, and two, his mouth was open, he could feel the air hitting his sore throat each time he took a breath. He swallowed in attempt to relieve his throat but found his mouth dry and nose blocked. He opened his eyes and glanced groggily around for something to drink, he discovered that the person flipping lazily through the magazine was Severide and vaguely recalled him mentioning he'd bribed a nurse so he could stay.

"Water?" Severide asked as he looked at him through bleary eyes. He didn't reply as Severide had already got up from his chair by the wall on his right with a cup of water in his hand. He lifted up his arm to take the cup of water only to realise he could barely lift it off the bed; his movements were slow and clumsy. He dropped his arm back onto the bed and looked away from Severide but his friend placed the cup in his hand and helped him to grip and assisted bringing it slowly up to his mouth where he took a few sips before letting go of the cup allowing Severide to take the cup away again without saying a word.

Without thinking he asked timidly, "Did I do this to myself?" he made no eye contact with Severide, who sat back down, instead Matt looked intently at the door handle to his left.

"What?" he heard Severides surprised tone, he lowered his voice when he continued, "Casey…" Matt looked directly at him, searching Severides expression for the truth, "… No Matt. It was a migraine; they just happen… Your doc said yours should stop. It's just 'cause of the surgery, you just need rest and recover and you'll be back to your normal self in no time."

"I… I had a headache. I think I just went to bed after…" he explained slowly still wondering if he had actually taken the painkillers he thought he had but suddenly realised Dawson had mentioned lunch on the phone, "Gabby? What's the time?"

"I called her, I'm sure she'll be here soon. It's just after twelve, you hungry?" Severide asked.

"I don't want her to," he replied tiredly, he still felt laden down under the drugs influence. He felt awful, he was full of cold and back in the hospital because of his own mistake. He felt miserable and hoped he'd fall back to sleep and ignore the rest of the world. He hated the lack of control he seemed to have over his own actions, he felt like he kept missing chunks of time. He was just drawing blanks from before the accident like the doctor had suggested but even now he seemed to miss moments. He thought it must be because he felt so tired all the time that he switched off without realising it; he was fine.

"What?" Severide questioned.

"I…I just don't want her to see me like this," he replied and added glumly, "Again."

"I think she just wants to see that you're ok," Severide explained.

"Well I'm fine, ok!" the angry words shot out his mouth before he could put a damper on them. He sighed, "I'm sorry," he mumbled, realising he had yelled for no reason. He berated himself internally, yelling wasn't going to prove to anyone that he was ok.

"It's ok, I know this is…" Severide began.

"Why are you here? You must have something better to do?" he asked and found his voice slightly laced with unexplained annoyance.

"Nope," his friend replied simply.

"I don't imagine this was your plan for the whole day," he spoke stiffly.

"I don't imagine this was your plan either," Severide countered softly.

"I don't need you," he emphasised each word as he spoke. If he was looking at Severide he would have seen the look of confusion and concern that emanated towards him but he was looking defiantly at the ceiling.

He heard Severide reply carefully, "I'm not here because you need me Casey. I'm here because you're my friend."

Slowly he turned his head to look at Severide, "I'm sorry," he apologized for the angry words that had slipped out his mouth; he didn't understand what had caused them or why the fell out his mouth without being able to stop them.

"I get it, Matt, I do. You're tired, you're ill and you're stuck in here again. I get it ok?" Severide sympathised.

"Do…" he began to change the conversation only to have a coughing fit attack him, he cleared his throat and tried again, "Do you want to watch TV?" he asked, wanting some normalcy to the situation, he wasn't interested in watching anything and would no doubt drift off but he thought it would give Severide something other than himself to focus on. He watched as Severide turned on the TV and picked up the remote, "You choose," he said simply just as Severide began to pass him the remote. Matt found his eyes began to drift closed as they watched the TV; his body still felt weightless under the haze of drugs but even as his eye lids grew heavier his head felt clearer from the fog that had been there when he had woken.

The two of them weren't watching the TV for long, if he could call lying half-asleep watching TV, before there was a small knock at the door. The room he was confined to this time was different to his previous one. Where before there had been a sliding glass door and a whole side of glass covered by venetian blinds this time all four walls were painted yellow, there was a small window and a solid door. Dawson entered the room, carrying a small paper bag, "Hey guys," she greeted them both softly, she looked directly towards him, her eyes radiating with concern, "Matt…" he looked away tiredly. The last thing he had wanted to do was worry all those around him.

Severide stood up and announced, "I'll leave you guys for a minute; need some coffee."

Once Severide left the room Dawson pulled a stool up to the bed and sat down, "How are you feeling? Severide told me what happened. They gave you the good stuff again?" she smiled thinly; she seemed to be hiding the concern that was eminent as soon as she'd entered the room. He knew she knew him well enough to know he wasn't comfortable with others showing him concern.

"Yeah," he slurred tiredly, "I don't like it but…" he hesitated when he realised he was about to say - I thought I was dying.

"But it hurt," Dawson finished for him.

"Yeah… last time I felt sick," he said recalling the effect the morphine had to him last time, this time he was thankful that feeling was lessened in comparison.

"Do you feel nauseous this time?" Dawson asked him quickly.

"I'll be fine," he mumbled away her worry before he was once again overtaken by a coughing fit. Once he stopped coughing Dawson took his hand and gave it a small comforting squeeze, he reciprocated, and was glad he felt stronger than when Severide had passed him the cup of water. He changed the subject so the focus of their conversation would no longer be on him, "You saw you brother?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied lightly, accepting the change in conversation, "We've started to get organised for Christmas," she explained.

He frowned in wonder, "It's November?"

She smiled, "Nearly December. We have a lot of family to go and see…We must have about four different Christmases altogether," she laughed. "You're invited to Christmas Day at my parents," she smiled.

"Your parents?" He repeated.

"Yeah," she grinned, "You've met them before," she reminded him with a smirk.

"Yeah… briefly…" he said tiredly recalling her sisters Christmas party last year.

"It'll be good. You're coming," she insisted, "If you've not got plans…" she smiled.

"No plans," he replied simply.

"Good," she grinned and he watched as the grin faded away to a frown, "What about your mum?"

"Didn't have Christmas with her for fifteen years, I'm sure she'll cope," he smiled.

"No, I mean, we should do dinner with her? Or something?" she suggested.

"You really like Christmas don't you?" he grinned, happy that she was looking forward to the holidays, "And let's not have dinner with my mother…" he said, not wanting to subject himself or Dawson to any awkward conversations.

"If you're sure?" she replied.

"I'm sure," he said and slowly sat up, testing his body that was slowly recovering from the haze of narcotics. Everything felt slow and heavy but he needed to get up.

"You all right?" she asked.

"Bathroom," he supplied before he tentatively pulled the covers away, moved and let his legs dangle down the side of the bed.

"Oh right. Well I'll leave you to rest anyway, got to go to Molly's; apparently Herrmann is having a meltdown about some misplaced order!" she said and just as she was about to leave grabbed the paper bag she must have put down when she entered his room earlier, "Oh I nearly forgot!" she announced and placed it down within his reach.

"More bagels?" he asked, remembering all those she had previously provided.

"Cinnamon swirl and a croissant!" she answered, pleased with herself, "I thought you'd prefer them to whatever was on offer for lunch here!"

"Thanks," he replied and she grinned before leaving him to use the bathroom and make his way back into bed. He was glad she had left before he had stood to make the journey to the small ensuite as he was unsteady on his feet and had to pause a few times and increase his grip on the IV pole as he made his way there and back. He settled back into the bed, feeling exhausted after what had felt like expedition just go to the bathroom, he would be happy when the morphine was no longer flowing through his system.

Just as he began drifting off the door opened. He looked over tiredly and through half lidded eyes saw that Severide had arrived back carrying a polystyrene coffee cup. He stood near the door as he asked, "Want me to dim the lights?"

"Nah I don't wanna completely mess up my body clock," he slurred, "It'll be all over the place when I get back on shift," he watched as Severide left the light switch alone and sat down in the sofa chair, "Gabby wants me to go to her parents for Christmas," he stated tiredly.

"Oh yeah? You don't wanna come over to mine then?" se grinned.

He smiled remembering the time he had spent Christmas with Severide during one of his and Hallie's breaks, "You nearly burnt the place down…"

"Good times," Severide grinned, "Hey isn't Dawson's dad a cop?"

"Yup," he replied, "…I hope I can drink by then," he smiled tiredly; he was going to need a little drink to calm his nerves if his was faced with all of Dawson's family. Severide shook his head and laughed. Matt adjusted himself on the bed to make himself more comfortable. Now partially facing away from his friend he felt his nose run and wiped it with the back of his hand before closing his eyes ready to drift off into the sleep his body had been craving.

"Casey," he heard Severide call his name sharply. He opened his eyes blearily and turned his head back towards him wondering what was wrong. Severide was looking at him with concern, more precisely he was looking at his chest where his left hand lay, and he looked down at it to discover a dark red smudge. Slowly he lift his head to his nose and brought back more blood, he stared at it as he heard Severide say, "I'll get the doctor." He heard his friend rush out the room as he lay staring at the blood on his hand. He could now feel the thick fluid running out his nose. He didn't try to stop it, he was too worried with the dark thoughts that were filling his head telling him that he'd done more serious damage to himself and that he wouldn't be going back to work.

The door burst open revealing Severide closely followed by a nurse who informed him, "Doctor Carter will be in to see you shortly but this isn't anything to worry about," as she walked over to him with a wad of white tissue he let go a breath he had realised he'd been holding, "The swelling around the injury can cause bleeding from the nose and ears, it's nothing to worry about," she reiterated, although Matt was sure if that was for his benefit or Severides, who looked as white as a ghost when he looked over to him. He smiled to let his friend know that he felt fine. The nurse dabbed the blood with tissue and then held it under his nose for a moment before he took hold of it and waited for the nosebleed slowly clot. He could feel the blood slowly trickling into the back of his mouth and the coppery taste hit his tongue but eventually the bleeding stopped. He asked for some water to take away the taste in his mouth.

"Here," Severide passed him a damp tissue to wipe away the dried blood from his face as the nurse deposited the bloody tissue. After cleaning his face the best he could without looking in a mirror he let his hand fall down to his side. He felt exhausted and wasn't sure he'd be able stay awake much longer.

Doctor Carter entered the room and the nurse left, "Hi Matt, I'm sure Kelly told you your scans came back good?" he nodded slowly in response and the doctor repeated the reassuring words that the nurse had spoken.

"It'll happen again?" he wondered out loud.

"It might do, I can't promise you it won't, but in time the chances of any bleeding because of the injury will lessen," the doctor explained. Casey felt his eyes slowly begin to close on their own accord and they continued to drift open and closed as his doctor began to show him the MRI scans. Soon he could no longer keep them open and he lost his battle for consciousness.

 **TBC**


	16. Sixteen

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks again for all your lovely reviews! Hope you're all well!

 **Sixteen**

 _Sunday 24th November 2013_  
 _Mid-afternoon_ **  
**

It was becoming an all too regular occurrence for Casey to find himself once again waking up blearily feeling like he'd been stuffed full of cotton wool. His throat was sore, his nose was blocked, his body felt weak and laden down. Slowly he cracked open his to confirm the suspicion that he was still in the hospital. His vision was blurry; he squeezed his eyes tight and opened them again in quick succession in an attempt to clear the fuzzy world around him.

"Hey," he heard Severide greet his conscious form from the right of his bed. The bed that felt like it was constantly trying to suck him back into sleep.

"Hey…I fell asleep…" he slurred, remembering the nosebleed and his doctor speaking to him, however if he was honest with himself he could barely remember the conversation. He watched a grin spread across Severides face as he nodded affirmatively. "What's the time?" he mumbled curiously and his throat scratched as he spoke.

"You've only been out for an hour, it's nearly three," Severide replied, "Still another 18 hours to go bud," he supplied; he knew him too well.

"I feel alright now," he muttered slowly in semi protest knowing there was no way he was going to getting out of here any sooner.

"24 hours Casey. This time tomorrow you'll be at home… sleeping on your couch," Severide grinned. "… or on your bed. Preferably not on the floor again please," he finished with a smile. Casey appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood and he looked over and smiled tiredly at his friend. "Oh! Can't believe I've not told you! The mother and the baby…Caitlin, popped into the house last shift asking for you, wanted to say thank you," Severide told him quickly. Casey could remember the nurses talking to him about the mother and baby but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't actually remember them, he still couldn't recall the accident or the days leading up to it, he was just getting better at pretending.

"I…" he began - I can't remember them - he nearly admitted but decided against it, despite the doctor saying any memory issues are likely to be concussion related and should come back to him he didn't want to admit the truth. The truth that scared him and made him feel ill at ease with himself, he was missing days of memories. Even now, after the accident, his memory still seemed to falter; Severide, Dawson and others would give him this odd expression as if he should already know what they're talking about.

"Case?" Severide interrupted his thoughts.

"I… I'm glad they're ok," he replied simply.

"That bruise has come out nicely now, you look like you've been in a bar fight," Severide grinned and he gingerly moved to touch the side of his face. His arm was slow to respond to his instructions and his fingers felt clumsy as they felt his face where he could feel a dull throbbing, the area was slightly swollen and he wondered if he had a black eye, he'd been much more worried about staying upright rather than checking on his appearance during his last trip to the bathroom. He let his arm fall back to the bed and he sighed. "You gonna eat them? Severide indicated the brown bag on the table beside him; he shook his head negatively in response, "You should," his friend suggested.

Shaking his head slowly he replied, "Tired."

"Because you've not had anything eat since yesterday," Severide stated. He shot him a look, you're not my mother _,_ Severide through his hands up in mock protest, "Hey, I'm just saying… might make you feel a little better… or I can go grab you something else if you want? But I did have nosey in the bag… cinnamon swirl, your favourite, right?"

Resigned to eat one of the pastries Dawson had brought earlier he adjusted the bed so he was nearly sat upright. He pulled the table so it was over the bed and began to pick at the cinnamon swirl. He didn't fancy eating, he didn't feel nauseous at the moment but he remembered how the morphine made queasy before and he really didn't want to throw up again and thought that having something to eat would do that to him so he continued to pick at the pastry, only taking small bites before having a drink and pushing the table away. He ignored Severides look of concern as he continued sitting up in the bed looking at nothing in particular. He sat there wishing his current hospital stay would end only so he would no longer be under anyone's watchful eye but he supposed he needed it because despite being told he didn't do this to himself he didn't trust his body.

"Casey?" Severide called his name sharply.

"What?" he snapped frustratingly at Severide, glaring at him, annoyed to have his thoughts interrupted and even more annoyed at the expression lying across his friends face, he was looking at him expectantly but he had no idea why.

"What do you want?" his friend asked softly.

He frowned, what did he want? He didn't know what Severide was talking about, "What?" he asked with a little less annoyance escaping his mouth this time.

"You said you wanted a can of soda?" Severide questioned softly, "What do you want?"

He stared at his friend, he didn't know how long it took him to reply, panicked thoughts were swirling round his head wondering what he had missed, he couldn't believe he'd had conversation without now knowing he had. "Any," he replied slowly, "Any is fine," his throat crackled as his spoke and he avoided his friends eye contact.

"Matt?" Severide questioned with concern, if he had been looking at him he would have seen the very worried expression on his friends face but he continued to avoid eye contact.

"Sorry," he mumbled, wanting nothing more than the bed to swallow him whole, "I'm just tired. I hate this stuff," he reeled off excuses, blaming the morphine he had been given several hours previously.

Severide smiled sympathetically towards him but he just looked away again as his friend spoke, "It'll wear off soon. I'll go get you that drink," he said before leaving the room. Once the door shut behind Severide he sighed, all he wanted was to be back to normal. His stomach dropped as a thought appeared in his mind; what if this kept happening? Could he keep blagging his way to cover up missing chunks of time and the days prior to the accident? If he was zoning out when he was tired he could deal with that, it would improve but if it was happening randomly he wouldn't be able to avoid it and it meant there was something seriously wrong with his brain. It was a scary prospect; having a conversation and not recalling any of it, what if it happened on the job? There was no way he'd get his truck back if something was permanently damaged.

Severide returned carrying two cans of soda and followed by Shay who was carry his green holdall, "Hey Casey," she greeted him softly, "How are you doing?" she asked caringly as she placed the holdall on the floor near the door to the small bathroom. Severide placed a can on the table next to the bed before taking a seat on the sofa chair.

"Does everyone know I'm here?" the words came out angrily and he shot a quick look to Severide before looking back to Shay who was now sat on the stool in the opposite of the room to Severide.

He watched as Shay looked to Severide with concern before she replied cautiously, "I just got a few things for you both as you're here overnight."

Ignoring Shay he looked towards Severide and asked, "Have you told everybody?" If he were paying enough attention he would have noticed the continual passing of concerned looks between his two friends as he sat waiting in anticipation for the Severides response.

"I just asked Shay to get us a few things, that's all, bud," Severide said softly.

"Because I can't be on my own?" he questioned incredulously.

"No…" Severide began before he was interrupted by Shay.

"It was just easier, Casey," she explained. Matt sighed and unconsciously rubbed his head realising he was being unreasonable, that his friends just wanted to help, he would do exactly same if their roles were reversed. "Headache?" Shay asked gently.

He shook his head negatively in response; the painkillers were still flowing around his body so even if he didn't have a headache he knew nothing of it. "Are you staying?" he asked her.

"Oh I can go if…" Shay began.

"No, sorry, I mean we can see if there's anything worth watching on the TV," he said struggling not to break out into a coughing fit as he did, he grabbed the can of soda from the table before clumsily attempting to open it, it took a moment but he managed it eventually and took a couple of sips in an attempt to combat the coughs that were about to take hold, the tickle in his throat subsided and he put the can back on the table and brought his attention back to Shay and Severide who were now flicking through the TV channels.

"Anything you want on, Casey?" Shay asked him.

"Oh… I don't mind," he replied tiredly having no idea what the options were as he had not been paying them any attention.

They settled on a channel and he drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the afternoon occasionally catching snippets of conversation between the other two in the room. He was only partially aware when Shay left but he felt her comforting hand on his arm before he heard the door close. He'd lost all his awareness of time and the world around.

"Case?" Severides voice penetrated his half asleep mind.

"Mmm?" he mumbled; he was not quite ready to face the world again, although he no longer felt hindered by any drugs.

"Dinner," Severide said simply. He cracked open his eyes just a fraction to see his friend next to him indicating to something behind him. He rolled from his right hand side onto his back and looked blearily around, there was a tray on the table and a nurse stood beside him who instructed him to eat and take the pills that she placed on the table in a small white pot. He watched, through half lidded eyes, as she left the room and once the door closed behind her he let his eyes close and he rolled onto his left side away from Severide.

"Casey? Come on, sit up," Severide spoke, ignoring his attempts to fall back to sleep.

"Tired," He mumbled, hoping to be left alone. Being awake for so long earlier had taken all of the little energy he had possessed and now he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Time always went faster asleep as well so it meant he would be back in no time.

"I know, that's why you need to sit up, have a little bit of something to eat, take the pills and go back to sleep," he heard his friend say softly, he didn't move, "Come on, Case, I know you heard me," Severide was persistent, he moved and looked at him, willing him to leave him alone, "Hey, don't look at me like that," his friend mocked.

"Fine," he mumbled sleepily and adjusted the bed so he was sat upright. He now noticed that the IV line that had been providing fluids was gone; all that remained was a plaster over his bruised skin.

"You're worse than Shay in the morning," Severide joked. He didn't comment and sat in silence as he had some food and swallowed the pills down with a few sips of water, he didn't pay a moment's thought wondering what they were.

"Aren't you bored?" he asked, Severide had been at his bedside for the best part of the day now.

"With all these hot nurses walking in and out of the room? Nope," he said with a sly grin. Casey frowned wondering who these hot nurses were that his friend was talking, as far as he was aware he'd not noticed any of them, "And you've not even noticed," his friend smiled, "All the more for me," he joked before adding, "Besides you're taken now aren't you?"

"No one's supposed to know," he said simply and he sniffled and hoped he would be rid of his cold sooner rather than later.

"No one knows. Just me and Shay…" he smiled, "I'm happy for you," he said earnestly.

"What do you think about her wanting to be a firefighter?" he asked curiously after clearing his throat.

He watched carefully as Severide frowned, "You don't think it's a good idea?" his friend questioned in wonder.

"No it's a… it's not a bad idea… it's just... it's dangerous…I mean I'm stuck here right now aren't I?" he struggled to explain himself, he didn't want to sound negative about it but the fact was the idea worried him.

"It is dangerous…But I mean really how often do we all end up having to stay in hospital?" Severide said.

"I was really lucky this time, Sev… and I've been lucky before… what if she isn't?" he said with worry eminent in his tired voice.

"Then tell her you're worried," Severide suggested.

He sighed, "I don't want her to think I'm against… and I'm not but she'll take it the wrong way and I don't want to end up arguing about it," he explained and then changed the subject, uncomfortable talking about himself and his problems for too long, "What's the time? Is there anything good on TV yet?"

"The news…And I thought you were tired? Didn't think you were ever gonna get up," Severide grinned.

"Well I'm awake now," he sighed pushing himself back further into pillow, a little frustrated that he couldn't just sleep for the rest of the night to wake up and be discharged. He honestly felt much better and the morphine seemed to have left his system, he still felt very weak but he'd felt like that before he was brought back to the hospital.

"Shay brought cards?" Severide suggested.

"Yeah… in a minute," he said as he pushed the covers away and very slowly made his way to the bathroom. After using the facilities he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked awful, it was no wonder everyone was worried. His left temple was bruised and slightly swollen, he assumed that's where he hit his head on his bedside table; he remembered the glass of water falling over on the table before his vision went black. There was more discolouration under his left eye where the bruising hadn't gone down much from before. He ran his over the bruised and aching areas of his face, inspecting them; he winced slightly when he felt the more tender areas. He was pale, his hair was sticking up all over the place and he really needed to shave. He was surprised to already notice he'd lost some weight despite spending most of his time in bed but it was nothing he couldn't do anything about once he felt more like himself so he wasn't worried.

He made his way back to the hospital bed, refusing Severides aid, where pulled the covers back over himself. For the next hour or so he and Severide played a few card games but he found it really difficult to concentrate for too long. Severide must have noticed he reverted back to an easy game of snap where Matt found his reaction time was slow and clumsy and soon he was too tired to continue and drifted off to sleep in the middle of playing.

 **TBC**


	17. Seventeen

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks again for all your support and lovely reviews and messages!

 **Seventeen  
**  
 _Monday 25th November 2013_  
 _Early morning_

Casey wouldn't recall waking up during the night and attempting throw off imaginary wires and tubes. He wouldn't recall Severides voice penetrating his post-nightmare confusion. He wouldn't remember his friend's calm reassurance that brought him back to the real world. He wouldn't remember the comforting hand on his arms as he drifted into an undisturbed sleep. The next time he awoke, unaware of his previous brief bout of consciousness, he found the room was dark. Slowly he sat up and his blurry vision cleared but he could see little in the darkened room even after his eyes had adjusted. He felt around clumsily for a drink to soothe his sore throat. He knocked something over in the process of finding the drink and the he heard Severide waking up after failing to find a drink. "You ok, Matt?" Severide asked him sleepily from the sofa chair.

"Yeah, go back to sleep," he replied hoarsely and when he didn't hear anything else from his friend he continued in vein to get a drink. Wondering if it was just out of his arms reach he tried to move across the bed more.

"Matt?" Severide questioned.

"I just wanted my drink," he sighed and explained embarrassingly.

"You finished it off when you woke up earlier," Severide explained unaware that he could not remember waking up previously, "I'll get you something now," he said.

"You don't need to go," he replied tiredly, although he was thirsty and his throat felt raw but he didn't want all the help.

"I'm not," Severide stated simply and he watched him stand up in the darkened room and walk towards him, "See?" his friend spoke as he pressed the call button the side of the bed.

"Oh," he replied and frowned, "For a drink?"

"Yeah, Casey," Severide said mockingly," What would you do if I weren't here? Wait until you were dehydrated before you asked?" he joked.

A bright light broke into the room as a nurse opened the door, forcing him to clamp his eyes shut. He heard Severide ask for water and waited until he heard the door close before opening his eyes once more, "Thanks," he muttered to Severide.

"You slept ok? No more nightmares?" Severide asked cautiously.

"Nightmares?" he croaked out with a frown.

"Yeah earl…" Severide began to explain but Matt realised quickly the circumstances that must have woken him up earlier.

"Oh that, I don't even remember what it was about," he said offhandedly, inwardly congratulating himself for covering up yet another thing he couldn't remember.

The nurse returned with a jug of water and this time the light from the outside didn't force his eyes to close, she checked that everything was ok before leaving the two of them in the darkened room. He happily drank a few sips of water before readjusted the covers and settling himself into bed again and let his eyes close.

"Sev," he slurred tiredly, "You should go home or find a bed… can't be comfy," he said wondering how his friend had even slept on the sofa chair.

"I've slept on worse, don't worry," Severide replied and Matt was sure his friend was grinning, "Just go to sleep, Casey."

"Mmm," he tried to reply but found himself sinking further and further into the bed as sleep claimed him.

A voice was calling him back to consciousness. He didn't want to comply but it kept persisting and eventually he gave up on falling back to sleep and cracked open his eyes. The room was lighter than before, he assumed it was now morning which meant he was much closer to being discharged. He squeezed eyes shut briefly in the hope that his vision would clear faster. "Matt?" it was Doctor Carter; he was stood above him trying to get his attention so he complied and looked at him through bleary eyes, "How are you feeling?"

The word fine very nearly slipped through his lips but even his groggy brain realised that was not going to be the best answer, "Much better," he said quietly and it was true, he still felt exhausted and was still full of cold but the pain he was in this time yesterday had not resurfaced.

"Good, I'll get you discharged after you've had breakfast," he explained "You're back here in two days to have the stitches out and we'll see how things are with the meds as well," the doctor said and Matt could remember him writing down the appointment when he had previously been discharged, "But I think it's just a case of remembering to take them on time so you don't miss any," he explained.

"Yeah, I will," he replied in acknowledgment. The doctor left the room after asking if he had any questions. He only just noticed that Severide was no longer in the room with him and after spending nearly 24 hours in here with him the room suddenly felt empty. He felt a pang of panic in his chest before pushing it away as it was a childish need.

Slowly he got up and out of bed to use the bathroom, the blood rushed to his head when he stood and he thought for a moment that the world was going to crash around him but he managed to grab hold of the bed and waited for the dizziness to pass. He avoided the mirror even as he splashed his face with water over the sink; he looked awful yesterday and he doubted he looked any better now, in all honesty he probably looked worse as he knew his hair felt greasy. He exited the bathroom to find Severide back on the sofa chair with a cup of coffee, "Hey," he greeted him, his greeting was followed by a short coughing fit where he had to take a hold of the bathroom doorframe to stabilise his weak form.

"Morning," his friend replied, and Matt could tell from the expression on Severides face that he was forcing himself not to offer his assistance as he slowly made his way back to the safety of his bed.

After eating most of the food he was given for breakfast and swallowing down his meds he was discharged. "We'll get a cab back to yours, unless you want to call ask Dawson for a ride?" Severide asked.

"Cab's fine," he replied, knowing Dawson would have been working late at Molly's last night. Carefully, under Severides watchful eye, he got back out of bed and rummaged through the duffel bag that Shay had brought for clothes. He changed in the bathroom, putting on a pair of joggers, top and hoody. Putting the tops over his head reminded him how sore and stiff his body was but putting the socks on proved the be the ultimate challenge as he tried to balance himself bent down and on one leg he very nearly fell straight to the floor but saved himself as he grabbed the counter and knocked over some of the toiletries in the process.

"Casey?" Severide called sharply.

"I'm fine," he replied quickly, still clutching the bathroom counter. Once he recovered he straightened himself up and left the bathroom, clutching his socks in one hand. He sat down on the sofa chair and pulled on his socks before Severide passed him a pair of trainers to put on. Feeling unusually self-conscious he asked quietly, "Did Shay bring a hat?"

"Erm," Severide hesitated for a moment before pulling his own black hat out of his jacket pocket, "Here, use this," he said as he passed the hat to him.

"Thanks," he muttered before placing it on his head and smoothing it over in an attempt to cover the incision site.

Severide must have noticed the attempt as he stated, "You can barely see it, Case, don't worry about it," in response Casey just shot him a thankful look, grateful at Severides lack of concern over his appearance, he was not used to looking so unkempt in public and didn't want anyone to see he'd been injured, he didn't want their concern or questions forced upon him out of politeness.

"We going then?" he asked as he carefully stood up from the sofa chair, he made to grab the duffel bag but was intercepted my Severide who flung it over his shoulder.

"We are but…" his friend began when the door opened revealing a porter pushing a wheelchair which he eyes reproachfully, "… But we're right at the far end of the hospital so you get a ride on this," Severide finished.

"Right," he replied, accepting the fact that his tired and weakened body would probably not even make it to the elevator without faltering and it was better to just accept all the advice he was given than protest and still have to listen to everyone. He sighed and sat down in the chair glumly.

The porter began to push the chair when he heard Severide behind him announce, "I'll do it, I don't think I'll get us lost on our way out and I promise not to steal it for any wheelchair races," the porter must have accepted Severides decision as when the chair was pushed forwards Severides voice said gleefully, "Now, should we see how fast this thing goes?"

"Unless you want me to throw up let's just keep to racing to a minimum," he replied.

"Spoil sport," Severide muttered mockingly as the made their way to the hospital exit.

As they exited the hospital the cold air hit him like a slap across of the face. It was harsh and the wind was savage against his tired frame. He heard Severide mutter something about the weather as he stood up from the wheelchair to getting into one of the waiting cabs. Severide instructed the driver as he sat next to him thankful for the heat that now warmed him. The comfort the warmth provided soon had him drifting off to sleep despite the noise that blared from the radio. "Case?" he heard Severides voice penetrating his clouded mind.

"Mmm?" he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

"We're nearly there," Severide spoke softly but he couldn't recall what he was talking about so he cracked open his eyes to discover the interior of the taxi cab; they were going to his place. He sat up straighter and stretched his aching body, looking forward to the day his body was no longer sore, he could barely remember what if felt like not to ache, be able to breathe through his nose and not be under the constant threat of a coughing fit.

The cab pulled up next to Severides car in front of his house, Severide paid the driver, "My wallets in the house, I'll pay you back," Casey told him as he carefully got out of the cab, Severide just shook his head negatively in response. The cold air hit him once more as he closed the cab door and began slowly walking to his front door behind Severide.

He had absolutely no energy now that he was stood inside his house, he just wanted to lie down before his body gave up in front of Severide. "You showering?" his friend asked, he shook his head in response. Honestly he didn't think he would manage to stay upright long enough to shower even though he really needed one. "You sure? You could have a bath instead?" Severide asked, Matt realised that of course his friend had picked on to the fact that he thought he was going to collapse with exhaustion.

"Later," he mumbled as he entered his bedroom, the blinds were still closed and a glass still lay on its side on the bedside table but he didn't care and he didn't get changed, he just slipped his shoes and tucked himself under the covers. Weary that Severide was hovering near the door he slurred, "Thanks Sev, I'll see you…" he drifted off having no idea when he would see him.

"I'm going to set your alarm, Casey. For lunch and dinner…" he heard his friend begin to explain but he didn't have a care in the world as he fell into the realm of sleep completely unaware that Severide planned to stay awhile longer to make sure he was ok.

 **TBC**


	18. Eighteen

**Six Weeks  
**  
A/N - Thanks again for the reviews, follows and favourites! Never thought I'd get so many so thank you and hope you're all continuing enjoy the fic!  
 **  
Eighteen**

 _Monday 25th November 2013_  
 _Mid-day **  
**_

The day passed by in a blur after Severide left. Casey was thankful to be back from the hospital but he spent most of the day safely cocooned in his bed. An alarm woke him up and its persistent high pitched tone kept him from falling back to sleep. He couldn't even remember setting an alarm, he certainly didn't think he needed one; he was perfectly happily sleeping for now. Once his vision had adjusted he grabbed his phone to turn off the alarm to find it had been labelled 'lunch'. There were also a few unread text messages, one from Dawson stating she would come by today and see him. At that point he decided he really needed to have a shower which was already a difficult task when trying not to get the sutures wet as he washed his hair never mind the dizziness that came in waves when he stood up for too long a period. He could have a bath but since he kept finding himself falling asleep he knew that wouldn't be the wisest idea.

He showered successfully, it was a slow process but everything seemed to take much longer than it used too and he was pleased to be sat down on one of his dining room chairs. He wasn't dressed, he just had a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair was dripping, he had got the sutures wet, and he was exhausted. After a while, long after he had felt a chill on his undried body, he got up and carefully changed into some fresh clothes. He heated up a meal provided by Cindy with the hope that the food would give him some more energy, he picked at the food whilst he sat in front of the TV completely unaware how much time had passed until he saw it was getting dark outside, his living room lights weren't on so he didn't bother getting up to close the blinds, he just continued to sit in the darkness when he heard a knock at the door and the jostling of keys, his name was called and he realised it was Dawson who was letting herself in.

"Sitting in the dark?" she questioned as she entered the living room.

"Hi," he said greeted after he cleared his throat.

"Hey," she smiled and sat next to him, she placed a hand on his leg comfortingly, "How you are feeling today?"

"Glad I'm back home," he said in response, not wanting to admit how weak, achy and tired he still felt, and that he was still full of cold.

"I thought I'd stay and keep you company tonight, on shift tomorrow," she announced.

"You don't mind?" he asked. Admitting to himself it would be nice to have her stay with him tonight, it would help things feel normal and he was craving normalcy so much right now and there was very little he could to achieve that at the moment. Even if he wanted to he couldn't drive at the moment and apparently he was not even allowed to lift anything heavier than a pint of milk until he was given permission, he couldn't do any proper exercise and he highly doubted he could do any paper work or work on any construction projects because he couldn't even concentrate on the TV and lost his train of thought during simple conversations.

"Of course I don't," she replied with a smile, squeezing his leg with reassurance, "Was this dinner?" she asked indicating to the plate with leftover food that was sat on the coffee table.

It took him a moment to realise what she was talking about before he replied slowly, "Erm... lunch."

"I'll go and sort something for dinner," she said and she stood up.

"I'll do it," he said abruptly and unfortunately he stood up too abruptly as well, his knees buckled as his light-headedness tried to tackle him down to the ground. He fell straight into Dawson's outstretched arms, his weight nearly caused her to go down but she managed to get him seated back on the sofa. Embarrassed and still plagued with waves of dizziness he sat in silence, thankful she didn't say anything either, he could her closing the curtains and walking around the house.

"Here, Matt," he heard her place a glass on the coffee table, he look up to see the fresh glass of water and noticed the lights were turned on, the curtains shut and the dirty plate from earlier had been cleared away.

Suddenly he heard his phone alarm going off loudly through his bedroom door, Dawson looked at him questioningly, "Severide," he said simply before explaining, "He set some alarms so I'd… erm… remember to have dinner and stuff," he didn't explain that this was because his 24 hour trip to the hospital was because he forgot to take his pain medication. Dawson didn't say anything before she left him on the sofa to turn off the alarm.

"You have a missed call from him too," she stated as she handed him the phone.

He rung Severide who picked up almost immediately, _"I was going to come over if you didn't reply back,"_ his friend told him through the receiver.

"Sorry, left my phone in my room and I'm fine anyway," he replied.

 _"I know, bud,"_ Severide drolled.

"What did you want?" he asked.

 _"Just checking you were still alive,"_ his friend said mockingly but Matt was sure there was an air of truth about it but they knew each other too well to be constantly checking up on each other when something was wrong so they both hid behind sarcasm and humour.

"Still alive and Gabby's here now so I'm well supervised," he replied with mocking cynicism.

 _"I'll leave you two lovebirds to it then,"_ Severide snorted through the line.

"Funny," he mocked in reply before they both hung up.

"All good?" he heard Dawson call from the kitchen.

"Yeah," he replied. His throat felt even rawer as he raised his voice to be heard in the kitchen.

Soon they were both sat at the dining room table eating, Dawson was talking excitedly about the academy and how she had spoken to her brother about it before she brought up the topic of Thanksgiving.

"I hadn't thought about it," he said when he was asked if he had any plans, he honestly hadn't realised the date and had given no thought to the day whatsoever, he used to spend it with Hallie's family if he wasn't on shift but that wasn't an option this year and in the state he was in at the moment he would be happy to spend it on his own.

"Antonio and Laura are having a small get together in the evening that I was going to go to, be nice if you came," she said.

"Small?" he questioned, knowing she had a large family and that he wasn't going to be the best guest in his current state.

"Yeah, my parents are on holiday so it's just going to be them, the kids and his sister in law and husband I think," she explained.

"Ok," he replied.

"You'll come?" she asked, he nodded positively, "Good, I'm sure it'll be nice just to get out of the house and we won't have to stay for long I know it'll be tiring for you."

"I'll be fine," he replied with a small frown laced across his face. She didn't reply, instead she cleaned up the dishes, with a slight look of worry when she realised he wasn't going to eat anymore of his own again she didn't say anything and took the plates away. Casey swallowed his pills before tidying away the placemats; remember the incident last time he didn't offer to help drying the dishes this time.

He entered the kitchen wondering if she wanted to stay the night, "You staying tonight?" he smiled until she turned around to face him with a look that must have meant he should already know.

"Yeah…" she said carefully, her expression full of concern before she masked it away, "That's all right isn't it?"

"Of course it is," he replied quickly trying to dig himself out of the hole he'd just fallen, "Sorry, just wondered if you wanted to watch a film or something?"

"You look exhausted, baby, I don't mind if we get an early night; it's nice just being with you, we don't have to do anything," she replied.

He was leaning on the kitchen wall, he'd been stood for too long according to his body and needed the assistance to solid wall provided, "I'm all right and besides watching a film isn't exactly tiring," except to him at the moment it was, concentrating on anything was draining.

"You need sleep, Matt, we'll get an early night, I'm up early anyway so it'll be good for the both of us," she explained.

"I've slept loads. Hell, I feel like I've been asleep for days," not because he felt well rested but because he felt like he had missed hours, days even, and it seemed to make all his waking hours blur together, he couldn't tell the date or even the day without checking his phone. It was disorienting and made everything feel out of control, he wished for his normal sleeping pattern to return.

"I know, but you need it, honestly, it's good for you right now," she said softly, "Each day you'll feel better and better."

"I feel fine now," he insisted, he wanted the subject of his health to be dropped, he wanted to sit down with his girlfriend and not talk about himself, he wanted her to act like everything was fine because then it would be. If everyone stopped being so concerned about him they could all move from the issue and he could just deal with it himself and soon he'd be back at work as if nothing had happened.

Dawson walked up to him and held his arm comfortingly and looking into his eyes spoke genuinely, "You don't look fine, Matt," he tried to shrug her hand off his arm but failed, he didn't have anywhere to move to, "You're leaning against the wall and you've barely been stood up, you're not eating properly and…" she paused before she continued as if she changed her mind about what she was going to say, "… and I'm worried about you."

The last thing he wanted was for her to be worried about him, he thought by telling her he was fine now meant she wouldn't have to worry about him, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not looking for an apology, I just want you to be honest with me, when you don't feel well or if you're worried about something I want you to tell me, we're in this relationship together, it's ok not feel fine, what happened to you was serious."

"I am going to be fine though, and soon, there's nothing wrong with me, doc said so himself," he smiled.

I know, baby," she sighed, "Just be honest with me, I know you big brave firemen are tough and great at hiding emotions, I've been on ambo long enough to know that, but talk to me," she said before turning away to finish putting away the dishes.

"Not so tough," he mumbled out of her earshot. He remained stoically stood, half leaning on the wall, as if to prove to her and himself that he was ok as she put the dishes away.

When she finished tidying up she stated, "I'm going to have a shower and join you in bed," before she went into the bathroom leaving him to take off his joggers and get into bed, he didn't see the point in changing when he'd showered and dressed recently. Once he got himself under the covers despite being determined to wait for Dawson he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He woke up to sound of movement and blearily opened his eyes, "Morning," Dawsons voice greeted him softly. He pulled an arm out of the warm duvet to wipe the sleep out of his eyes whilst he waited for his vision to clear.

"Hey," he muttered quietly before coughing to clear his throat although he found he couldn't stop himself from continuing to cough, he sighed when the coughing eventually subsided; he couldn't wait to be rid of this damn cold! "Sleep ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, you?" she asked with a little concern in her tone. He nodded positively and stretched a little under the covers, noticing that whilst he still ached his body didn't feel as sore and battered as before. "Breakfast?" Dawson suggested as she headed out of the bedroom, dressed ready for work.

"Yeah, I'll join you in a minute," he said as she left the room leaving him to slowly get out of bed, when he realised he was going get hit by any light-headedness he grabbed his joggers from the day before and slipped them on.

Dawson was sat at the small kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal when he walked in and joined her. She said little over breakfast, for which he was glad as he found it harder to concentrate when he'd just woken up. "What time is your appointment tomorrow?" Dawson asked as he swallowed his pills with a swig of water.

"Oh," he said hesitantly having absolutely no idea he an appointment tomorrow, "I'm not sure, I'll check later," he smiled.

"Ok, let me know and I'll give you a ride if I can or I'm sure someone will be able to so you don't have to take a cab," she stated. They left the conversation at that and Dawson left for working asking him to call her if he needed anything whilst he insisted he would be fine.

Once again the day went by in a blur, he slept on the sofa for the best part of the day in between lunch and dinner his sister called him asking him how he was and wondering if their mum had spoken to him about Christmas, she hadn't and the conversation then ended quite quickly. It was late when he heard a knock on the door; he staggered slightly as he reached his front door and opened it to find Severide in half of his turnout gear and the rest of Squad sat in the truck parked in front of his house. "Hey, you're up!" Severide greeted him.

"You don't need sound so surprised," he muttered in reply.

"Just thought we'd swing by and…" his friend began with a smile.

"…And check up on me?" he finished.

"Yup, pretty much," Severide grinned.

"Still alive, Sev," he said tiredly, "go back to the house."

"Hey, McCloud's not here so we can stop and do whatever we want," Severide joked. He raised his eyebrows questioningly in response, "Fine, we'll go," he smiled and turned to leave but stopped in his tracks and turned back round just as Matt leant on the door frame support his weak frame, "You need a ride tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm not sure what time yet and Gabby's offered as well," he replied.

"Kay, let me know, bud," Severide said before he left. Matt watched him get into the truck and continued leaning on the door frame as the squad drove off heading back to the firehouse.

He realised he better check what time his appointment was tomorrow, he didn't mind getting a cab but knew everyone would insist he was given lift by one of them so it was better to just provide them with the information they wanted. He searched around for the aftercare leaflet and appointment card and messaged both Dawson and Severide with the time and decided he better set an alarm so he'd wake up with plenty of time to get ready as he needed to be at the hospital before 11am in the morning. Once he was ready for bed turned the lights out and went to bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

 **TBC**


	19. Nineteen

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you all again for the reviews! They really help because it's fab to know you like the story! Hope you like this next part!

 **Nineteen**

 _Wednesday_ 27 _th_ _November 2013  
Early Morning_

Casey woke with a start, he struggled to push back the suffocating bed covers, he could smell burning, he pushed himself off the bed and promptly collapsed to the floor. He winced as the shock jolted his body. It took a few bleary moments to gather his senses and realise he was not in fact lying asleep in a burning building. There was no yelling or crying and there were no loud crashes and bangs; the room was silent apart from his hastened breaths. The room was dark and he could barely make anything out but he knew from the familiar smell that he was at home.

He didn't know how much time passed as he sat on the floor with his back resting on the side of his bed. His head was throbbing dully and for a moment he thought his nose was bleeding but after wiping the back of hand under it discovered it was not. It began to get cold sat on the floor only clad in his boxers so he carefully pushed himself up onto his knees before pulling himself upright using the bed to help. He shut his eyes briefly as he turned the bedside light on, knowing they would take a moment to adjust to the brightness. As he made his way to the kitchen, where he remembered the painkillers were sat on the small table, he groped the wall momentarily as he lost his balance. If he were more awake he would have been glad no one was with him to see him staggering about the house as if he were drunk. After taking two painkillers with a drink of water he went back to his room to slip on some clothes and check his phone for messages, knowing that Severide and Dawson should have messaged him about his check-up.

After he rinsed his faced to refresh himself in the bathroom, momentarily glancing at his rough appearance wishing the bruise under his eye would fade away, he sat down on the sofa in the dark living room, he wasn't ready to fall back to sleep so he was going to wait up and watch some TV. It was 5am and Severide was going to drop him off at the hospital so he could have his sutures taken out as Dawson was going to be waiting for a delivery at Molly's in the morning but she was going to pick him after and she had suggested that they have some lunch together. He flicked through the TV channels before settling on some mindless cartoons that he hoped wouldn't be too difficult to concentrate on.

The next thing Matt knew was the annoying buzz of his phone alarm in his pocket, 8:30am, reminding him to get breakfast and take his medication. He felt embarrassed at himself for needing the reminders but he really didn't want another incident like the other day and admittedly setting an alarm and being completely ready for Severides arrival was less embarrassing than the thought of being discovered half asleep on the sofa in front of a TV playing children's cartoons.

Severide arrived a little after 9:30am. Matt was mildly impressed with himself for staying awake, although he would never admit that to anyone.

"Hey, bud, you ready?" Severide greeted him after he'd let himself into the house.

"Just need to grab my coat," he replied, his throat didn't seem so sore today but his nose was still blocked and he had had a small coughing fit whilst watching the TV earlier. He put on his coat and grabbed his phone and keys before they exited his house to be greeted by the cold air. The cold air made him realise he'd not got a hat and he did not want to be walking around in public with the incision site on show and a thin strip of missing hair, "Erm, I need my hat," he mumbled aloud as he unlocked and entered his house again, fortunately there was one sat near the door so their departure was not delayed.

In the warmth of the car Severide turned the radio and began to drive to the hospital, "Gabby's going to pick up when you're done," his friend stated.

He sniffled and replied, "Yeah, I read the messages."

Severide nodded, "You sleep all right?"

"Yeah…of course…" he muttered I response, frowning and wondering why Severide had started on the personal questions.

"Just wondered… you doing anything tomorrow?" Severide asked and again he frowned, surely his friend knew he'd just be sat at home waiting following doctor's orders to rest and 'take it easy', "Thanksgiving?" Severide prompted.

"Oh," he began, his days had all blurred together and recalling the exact date wasn't an easy task without checking his phone, "Gabby mentioned something about going to her brothers, I think," he replied slowly, "You?"

"Katie's coming over, she's doing cooking obviously… but I said I'd help out," Severide grinned; "Otis is looking forward to it!" he sniggered causing Matt to grin, inwardly laughing about Otis' new love interest.

"Those two….?" he questioned, wondering if they were seeing each other.

Severide shrugged, "Probably… I don't know."

"You don't mind?" he asked curiously, he had had very little involvement with his sister and Jim's relationship before and after they got married and he had never been bothered about it. Perhaps because they weren't close and she was older than him, whereas even though Severide had only just met his sister, she was younger and they already seemed closer than Matt and Christie had ever been.

"Nah…Otis is harmless," Severide grinned and he smiled in response. He was growing tired and the comforting warmth of the car wasn't helping but he was determined remain awake for the remainder of the short journey.

"How was shift?" he asked, reasoning that if he kept talking it would be easier to stay awake, "Truck ok? The relief good?"

"Shift was normal and your relief is good, he's working well with your guys," Severide replied briefly, "I've not heard any complaints or grumbles from them," he grinned.

He nodded in response, he had been hoping for a more detailed answer even though Boden had told him not to worry about the House whilst he was out and that his truck was waiting for him to get back. Soon they reached the hospital and Severide parked the car in the first free space he could find whilst Matt watched him blearily, his early morning was catching up with him and despite previously wanting to remain awake he now just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.

"Looks like we've got a bit of a walk," Severide announced as Casey fumbled to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"You're coming in?" he asked with tiredness evident in his quite voice. Severide nodded affirmatively.

Casey found himself slowly and steadily walking behind his friend as they reached the outpatient entrance to the hospital. Once inside they were greeted with warm air and a clinical smell, Severide suggested he took a seat whilst he went up to the front desk, he did as Severide suggested and was grateful to be sat back down after the walk from the car.

"Casey?" he heard Severides voice call abruptly, he opened his eyes, wondering when he had closed them, to see his friend sat next to him.

"What? Sorry," he said quickly before clearing his throat, wishing away his cold and temperamental memory.

"I said we've just got to wait here until your appointment, she said he's running a little be late," Severide explained, "You tired?" he asked cautiously.

"Err… yeah," he admitted and added jokingly, "Could really do with some coffee!"

Doctor Carter appeared and Severide left, reminding him that Dawson would be picking him up, he followed the doctor into a large office and took a seat facing him across the desk. "How are you Matt?" the doctor asked, his tone serious. Sat across from the doctor Matt felt nervous and he wasn't to let nerves bother him but he realised that anything he said may hinder his chances of going back to work.

"Good," he replied but his doctor didn't say anything so he elaborated, "A little tired, I guess, but ok."

"Have you been in any pain since I saw you the other day?" Doctor Carter asked.

"Nothing like before," he said honestly.

"Other than tiredness how have you been? Have you been eating ok?" the doctor asked whilst looking him up and down. Matt felt uncomfortable and unconsciously began to fidget with his hands.

"Still not got rid of this damn cold," he smiled, not answering the questions posed.

"The steroids you had after surgery lowered your immune system so you were more susceptible to getting one but it shouldn't take any longer than usual to clear up," the doctor explained whilst scribbling something down on the chart in front of him, "How's your mood been?" he asked.

"Just bored when I've not been sleeping I guess, it's still a little difficult to focus on stuff," he admitted honestly but left out the small bursts of anger he had had. The anger worried him because before the accident he could stop himself but now when he felt angry he didn't seem to be able to hide his feelings, but he put that down to fact he felt constantly exhausted and drained.

"That's quite normal, if it's still hard to concentrate in a couple of weeks we'll run a few tests, nothing to be worried be about at the moment," the doctor explained, "You said your memories of and around the accident were hazy, has anything come back to you?"

"Erm… no…" he admitted.

"Ok, again still nothing to worry about, those memories might never come back because of the concussion. How's your memory now? Any issues with remember things like your phone number or forgetting something someone's told you?" the doctor asked.

"No issues," he smiled. He was not going to admit the moments of time he seemed to miss because he reasoned to himself that he probably just drifted off for a moment so it wouldn't be an issue when he was no longer tired all the time..

"Good, if that changes or you become aware of any mood changes let me know, TBIs can make you more susceptible to depression and anxiety so it's important you try to notice any changes," Doctor Carter spoke seriously, "We're almost done here, have you got any questions?"

"When can I start doing stuff?" he asked as the list of things he shouldn't do seemed to cover everything apart from resting, sleeping and eating.

"Stuff?" the doctor questioned.

"Exercise? Running, the gym?" he explained even though he currently had little inclination to either go for a run or head to the gym.

"You still need to take it easy, go for a walk and if you really feel up to have a little jog, nothing strenuous and no weights for the time being," the doctor said and Matt recalled him previously saying he shouldn't lift anything heavier than a piny of milk, "Just listen to your body, if it's telling you rest then rest," he nodded positively in responsive, "Ok, now Brenda here is going to take you to get those sutures out and you're next check-up is in two weeks but do call me beforehand if you have any worries or questions at all," the doctor finished and passed him another appointment card.

He stood up and discovered Brenda at the back of the room, he hadn't noticed her come in but he followed her out of the room to a small procedure room where he took off his hat and coat. She asked him lie on his right hand side so she could remove the sutures. She was very friendly and chatty but he soon found himself letting his eyes close to become oblivious to the world. "Matt," a gentle voice brought him back to the conscious world, he opened his eyes to see the friendly nurses face, "Hey," she smiled, "You fell asleep on me, honey."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"S'all right. You're all done now," she explained and he began to sit up but a gentle arm stopped him, "Slowly, hun, you've been lying down for a while." He did as she said and slowly sat up before place his legs over the side of the bed. "Do you know your way out of here?" she asked as he stood up carefully to avoid any light-headedness.

"Erm… no," he admitted. He'd rather admit now that he didn't know how to get back to the outpatient entrance then to get lost on his way to find Dawson.

"This place is such a maze!" She admitted with a bright smile, "I'll show you out," and he put his hat and coat back on before following her.

Once he was back at the waiting area he thanked the nurse and saw that Dawson had spotted him. He stayed where he was as she came over, "Hey, baby," she hugged him, "How was it?" she asked, she pulled away from the hug but kept hold of his arm.

"All good," he smiled forcefully; he was exhausted and just wanted to get home.

"You look tired, let's just have lunch at yours and have a lazy afternoon before I go to work?" Dawson suggested.

"Of course I look tired; I have a black eye," he replied mockingly.

"You look like you've been in a fight," she laughed.

"Yeah… with a bedside table..." he mumbled.

"N'aw did my big tough fireman get taken down by a table," she mocked, he was happy she was making light of the situation and didn't appear to be worrying about him anymore, "At least it'll be less noticeable tomorrow," she added.

Realising they were still stood in the middle of the waiting area he said, "Shall we go?"

They left the hospital and after walking the short distance to the car Matt was ready to collapse in a heap. He was thankful to be sat back down once he was in the car. On the journey back Dawson chatted a little about shift and mentioned something about Herrmann and the bar but in his tired state he struggled to concentrate on the words and just hoped she wasn't going to ask him a question. Thankfully she didn't but by the time she parked the car in front of his house he was very nearly asleep, "Matt? Lost you for a minute, we're back," she said and mumbled in response before they both got out the car and entered his house. Dawson gently touched his arm, "Look, why don't you take of your hat and coat and have a lie down and I'll make some sandwiches?" she suggested softly and he complied without a word.

As soon as he put his legs up and head down on the sofa he drifted off to sleep and the next thing he knew was Dawson's voice calling him, "Mmm?" he mumbled.

"Come on, Matt…" Dawson was persistent in bringing him out of his sleepy stupor.

He opened his eyes to blearily discover the darkness of the sky in the crack of the curtains and frowned, "It's dark?"

"Yeah. You needed the sleep but now you really need some food," Dawson explained. He looked up at her through half lidded eyes and wanted to turn away and fall back to the comforting world of sleep.

"Not hungry," he slurred in protest.

"I know… but I am so join me, I've got go to Molly's soon," Dawson explained and Matt instantly felt guilty for sleeping through the afternoon they had planned to spend together.

"Sorry," he muttered as he sat up. Once he was sat up straight he discovered a little spread of food on the coffee table; sandwiches, cold pasta, crisps, raw vegetables and a couple of dips, "This looks nice," he said earnestly.

"Well, have at it then," Dawson smiled and passed him an empty plate. He picked up a small selection of food and began slowly eating as Dawson turned on the TV.

"Drink?" she asked.

"Beer?" he looked up and flashed a smile.

"Nice try," she replied, Matt watched as she turned away and disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared with a glass of orange juice.

"I may have hit my head but I know this isn't beer," he joked.

"I'll bring some non-alcoholic bottles back from Molly's later," she said.

"Non-alcoholic beer?" he questioned with an eyebrow raised disbelievingly.

Dawson just grinned in response and helped herself to some food. After eating all he wanted he carefully got up and made his way to the kitchen to take his pills only to find them no longer sat on the table where he could have sworn he'd left them this morning. He stood staring at the table as panic began to set in in his mind, his breathing became shallow, he didn't know what to do, he could have sworn he hadn't moved them. The logical part of his brain kicked in and suggested that perhaps Dawson had moved them but he didn't want to ask her in case she hadn't, in case he had moved them and couldn't remember. He took a deep breath and looked around the kitchen to see if they were somewhere else; they weren't. He closed his eyes disappointedly when Dawson called through from the lounge, "Baby, if you want you meds I put them away in the bathroom when I tidied," he breathed a sigh of relief and went to take the pills.

Dawson left him on the sofa, having already asked if it was all right that she came back to his later tonight he said he'd stay up for her but she declined and said they could just look forward to waking up in bed together tomorrow morning. After she left Casey didn't stay watching the TV for long as he found himself drifting off despite spending most of the afternoon asleep. He decided not to shower, he didn't want to risk it as tired as he felt so undressed and got into bed where he fell asleep immediately.

 **TBC**


	20. Twenty

**Six Weeks  
** _  
_A/N - Thank you again for the reviews, follows and favourites! Hope this update doesn't disappoint!

 **Twenty**

 _Thursday 28th November 2013  
Morning  
_  
Casey woke up slowly, he was lying on his left hand side under the warmth of the duvet and for a few moments he forgot about his injury and felt content. However he soon woke up enough to realise that his body still ached and his head was throbbing dully. He moved onto his back and stretched under the covers, as he moved he noticed a mop of brown hair sticking from under the duvet, Dawson was lying fast sleep next to him, he hadn't heard her come in last night. He sat up and rested his back on the headboard; he looked at the time on his phone and realised he'd slept for more than twelve hours. Dawson stirred in her sleep and he sat that watching her as his eyes adjusted. The bedroom was dark but a gap in the curtains let through a glimmer of light across the bed. Ordinarily he would get up and open them to let in the light but he realised Dawson must have been at Molly's until the early hours of the morning and he didn't want to disturb her. He also didn't want to disturb her by getting up and staggering out the room to the bathroom so he sat there and waited for her to wake.

"Hey, baby," she smiled sleepily up at home when she woke a while later.

"Morning," he smiled and cleared his throat; noticing that his sore throat had finally gone, "What time did you get in?"

"About two, didn't disturb you did I?" she asked.

"Nope," he replied, "Want a cooked breakfast?" he asked, thinking it was the least he could as he had slept the night away whilst she had been working.

"I'd love that but probably shouldn't; save myself for later," Dawson said.

It took a moment for Matt to remember the Thanksgiving dinner they were going to, "Oh, yeah."

"You still up for it?" Dawson asked, she was sat up now, her arm on his.

"Yeah of course," he replied quickly, he couldn't say no when she'd invited him even if the thought of being surrounded by her brother and his family made him nervous, not because it was her family but because he didn't want to do something wrong in front of them, he didn't want to fall asleep or zone out. He also imagined that he would be the only one not drinking and it was not because he was driving home afterwards. "What time do we need to leave?" he asked.

"Get there for one? Lunch is at two," Dawson thought out loud.

"Ok," he replied. They had a few hours before they would need to leave. He needed to shower and he wondered if there was anything he could do about his hair, he was feeling unnaturally self-conscious about it because of the incision site.

After having a light breakfast and taking his medication Matt showered and found the task easier than before. He was able to stand for longer without feeling tired and he managed dry and dress himself without a single wave of dizziness. He had put on a smart pair of jeans and his dark green shirt, the jeans that were usually nice and fitted felt looser than usual. He wasn't worried, once his appetite was back it wouldn't take long to gain the weight back, he remembered the hospital stay had after an accident when he was 12 where he had gotten so ill he could barely keep any food down but after it didn't take long for his appetite to return.

He joined Dawson at the dining room table where she was looking intently at her laptop screening, "Whatcha looking at?" he smiled as he sat down.

"The contents of some of the classes I'll be taking at the academy," she explained.

"I have all of my old folders and work. I can dig them out if you wanted to have a look?" he suggested.

"Really? That would be great, I just want too…" Dawson began excitedly.

"…Swot up?" he smiled at her enthusiasm.

She grinned in response but he watch as the smile disappeared from her face, "I thought you weren't entirely up for the idea?" she asked.

"If this is something you want to do, I'll support you the whole way," he explained. He loved her; he would support her with her decisions even if this one was going to make him worry more about her. He didn't want to disagree with her over her own decision.

He stood up slowly but was stopped when Dawson placed a hand on his, "I'm just gonna dig out the…" he explained.

"You don't need to do it now, baby, why don't we just watch a bit of TV?" she suggested.

"Does my hair look ok?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" she was surprised, he realised, she hadn't been expecting that question.

"I mean do you think we can do something to it? Even it out or something?" he spoke quickly. He now realised he probably shouldn't have said anything as Dawson's expression changed from confusion to concern.

"Why do… you don't need to hide it, Matt…" she replied softly, "It's just Antonio and his family."

"I…" he began quietly, "… I just don't want to talk about it," he admitted. He didn't want more people asking how is was and if he was ok because the truth was that he wasn't sure if he was ok, he didn't think he was all right and if he was going to this meal he just wanted to be normal, he wanted everyone around him to be normal, he didn't want looks of sympathy or concern, he just wanted to forgot that he felt so exhausted, and admittedly, confused a lot of the time.

"They're not going to talk about it, baby," she spoke to him gently with a look he'd seen her give many victims who wanted some sort of reassurance.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine, Matt, but you really don't need to worry; it's just dinner," she smiled, "Now I'm going to do my hair and get ready, watch a game on TV or something and I'll join you after."

He did as she suggested although as he watched the TV his mind drifted away from the game to imagined scenarios at Thanksgiving dinner. He didn't know why he was so worried about it, he was never usually someone who got nervous over social situations but right now he wished he didn't have to go. He was pulled out of his thoughts as Dawson sat down next to him calling his name. He looked wide eyed and startled at her, "You look nice," he said appropriately, she smiled and he as thankful she said nothing about his loss of attention.

They soon left in Dawson's car, whilst he was on the anticonvulsants he was didn't have permission to drive although it wouldn't be long until the seizure danger zone passed and it was thought unlikely that he'd have one as he hadn't since after the surgery; the drugs were mainly a precaution according to the doctor. If Matt was honest with himself as well he knew even after he finished those pills driving wouldn't be the wisest idea until he knew that his attention was going to drift away. "We're here," Dawson announced as they pulled up outside the house. They got out the car and walked up to the front door where Dawson knocked and they waited in the cold for the door to open.

"Hey, sis!" Antonio greeted enthusiastically as the front door opened, he pulled Dawson into a hug and let her go before continuing, "Matt," he greeted him a smiled, "How are you?"

"I'm good," he replied, "You?"

"Can't complain," Antonio replied, "I'm glad you're ok, Matt," he added with sincerity before letting them both into house, "Make yourself at home, dinner's going to be about an hour."

Dawson began introducing Matt to the small group of people in the lounge area, "This is Matt, Matt this is Laura…."

"We've met," Laura said and Matt remembered meeting her at Dawson's cousins Christmas party last year, "Nice to see you again," she spoke softly to him, "This is my sister, Alice, her husband, Gary," she explained, "And Eva and Diego are upstairs on some sort of video game, I'm sure they'll turn up just before the food is ready," she smiled.

Before Thanksgiving dinner was served they all sat in the lounge, Antonio and Laura kept checking the food cooking in the kitchen, and despite being worried about everyone asking questions he received none. He struggled to eat all of the food on his plate but so did Dawson. After everyone had eaten all they could he offered to help wash up but Dawson and Laura insisted he go and sit in the lounge with the others whilst they cleared the table and washed up the dirty dishes. He was sat on the floor with Eva and Diego watching them playing a board game when Eva said she was thirsty. Matt stood up with the intention of fetching her another drink, he staggered slightly as the world span for a moment.

"You ok?" Laura's sister asked him with concern.

He laughed and shrugged off the concern, "Yeah, fine," he replied and he walked slowly towards the kitchen door. The kitchen door was half open and he could hear Dawson and Laura talking. As he was about to enter he heard them much more clearly, they were talking about him. He stopped in his tracks and listened.

"He's says he's fine," Dawson said.

"You're not convinced?" Laura asked her.

He heard Dawson sigh before she replied, "I don't know… he… he doesn't deal with things well… if something was wrong I don't know if he would tell me… he's always been so private. It took him weeks to tell me about his mum's parole hearing… he just deals with things on his own and if there is something wrong he needs to tell someone. What happened to him is serious and I just don't know what to do…"

He walked straight into the kitchen and announced, "Eva would like another drink and are you sure there's nothing I can help with?" he smiled brightly as if he hadn't heard anything Dawson had been saying. The doctor said he's fine and he convinced himself that the memory issues he was currently having would soon fade after all the doctor had said some concussion related memory issues were likely, there was no point in tell Dawson if she would only worry about him.

"Here," Laura handed him a drink for Eva, "And no, go and relax with everyone else! Do you want anything else to eat?"

"Oh no, it was lovely but I couldn't possibly eat anything else!" he smiled. It didn't take long for him to start lagging and his head to start throbbing dully behind his tired eyes. He was sat on the sofa when he noticed himself drifting off, he tried to keep his attention on the conversations that were taking place in the room but it wasn't easy, music was playing loudly from the stereo and there seemed to be three discussions going on at once and he couldn't concentrate on even one of them. He sat there trying to keep his eyes open and hoping no one was going to ask him anything because he didn't know what they were talking about.

He was brought out his stupor when Dawson sat next to him and placed a hand on his right leg. She announced, "Well, we better get going, I've got work early tomorrow," he was grateful that she said that rather than using him as the excuse to leave although he knew she realised he was no longer focused on the world around him. They all said their pleasantries before he and Dawson got in the car to go home, he had felt unsteady on his feet as he'd walked from the house to the car but no one seemed to notice. As soon as Dawson drove off he leant against the window and fell asleep.

Someone was shaking him gently, he tried to shrug them off but they kept persisting. He just wanted to stay where he was and sleep, he knew if he opened his eyes he would have to face the world and the throbbing in his head would escalate. "Come on, Matt!" it was Dawson who was insisting he wake up, "Matt, I need you to open your eyes, come on, baby," she insisted.

"Whaswron?" he mumbled nearly incoherently.

"Matt? I need you to wake up," she persisted still gently shaking him, keeping him from drifting back to sleep.

"Mmwake," he stuttered.

"Open your eyes, baby," Dawson said. He blearily opened his eyes to find himself looking at Dawson's blurred image, "Hey, are you ok? It's taken me at least five minutes to wake you up…" he looked around to try and figure out where he was, whatever he was lying on was comfy and there was a blanket draped over his body, "You're at home…" Dawson explained with concern evident in her tone, "You asked me to wake you up so you could have something to eat and take your meds?"

Casey frowned; the last thing he could remember was saying goodbye to everyone after Thanksgiving dinner, "Oh sorry, half asleep still," he forced a grin and slowly sat up on the sofa, "Still not hungry after all that food earlier," he said aloud.

Dawson grinned, "Same, I always eat way too much over the holidays. I think you'll be fine just having the pills, it's not been too long since you ate," she explained.

"Good cause I don't think I could eat anything else for days," he smirked.

"I'll get them," Dawson stated and soon was back in front of him with three pills and a glass of water. He took them and handed the glass back to her.

"Do you mind if I get an early night?" He asked quietly, hoping she wouldn't say anything about him being asleep on the sofa since they got home, "You're welcome to stay and watch TV or whatever you want," he suggested as he stood up slowly.

"Sure, I'll shower then I'll join you I think," she smiled. As he turned away from her the world seemed to shift and he nearly fell down onto his knees but managed to save himself when he realised what was happening, "Baby?" she questioned.

"Shoe lace," he smiled, glad he still had his shoes on to use that excuse. He walked into the bathroom leaving behind Dawson who watched him concern. He brushed his teeth and rinsed his face and once he was in his room he closed the curtains, undressed and got into bed. He was just drifting off when his phone stopped him from falling asleep. It was buzzing loudly on the bedside table, he couldn't ignore it so he fumbled to reach it and accepted the call, "Hello," he muttered tiredly.

" _Hey,"_ he was greeted enthusiastically.

"Sev?" he mumbled.

 _"Yeah, you half asleep, bud?"_ Severide asked.

"Mmm," he replied.

 _"Listen, Saturday?"_ Severide said.

"Saturday?" he repeated.

 _"Movie night at ours? You in? We'll order pizza. Sound good?"_ Severide asked.

"Erm, I'm not sure…" he muttered down the phone.  
 _  
"You can pick the film?"_ Severide suggested.

"Thanks, Sev, I just… I'm not sure yet. Can I get back to you?" he asked.

 _"Yeah, sure, of course, man,"_ Severide sighed quietly through the phone.

"Thanks, I'll speak to you tomorrow," he said and they both hung up.

Before drifting off to sleep Matt lay in bed thinking; he felt like he'd been bad company today at Thanksgiving and it had exhausted him even though all he had done was eat dinner and he didn't want to be just as useless at Severides on Saturday night.

 **TBC**


	21. Twenty One

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you for all the lovely reviews on my previous update! Hope y'all like this one just as much.

 **Twenty One**

 _Friday 29th_ _November 2013  
Early morning_

"Matt?" he heard Dawson question with concern. He was sat upright in bed with sweat on his brow. Slowly he realised the heavy breathing that he could hear was coming from his own heaving chest. A hand was placed on his right shoulder, "It's ok, you're ok, it was just a dream," Dawson explained softly.

He cleared his throat, "I'm all right," he smiled, but even in the darkened room he could see Dawson frowning, "Don't remember it," he explained simply.

"OK, go back to sleep then," she replied tiredly, he watched as she rolled over to sleep again. He lay back down on his left side with his eyes open wide; he'd not had many nightmares since he got back from the lake cabin after Hallie's death. He realised this was probably one of those things the doctor wanted him to mention but he knew he could handle it on his own; despite what he'd overheard Dawson saying his way of dealing with things worked. He soon found that he couldn't keep his eyes open for long and he drifted back to sleep. He awoke blearily later in the morning with a dull headache. He felt like he hadn't slept at all, he was exhausted and wondered vaguely if it was because of their outing yesterday. If it were the cause of his exhaustion how was he going to cope when he was back at work where it would be a lot more strenuous then just simply sitting and having dinner. He rolled over to greet Dawson but found her side of the bed empty. He frowned but assumed she was in the bathroom but when he carefully sat up on the side of the bed next to his phone was a note;

 _Thought you needed the extra sleep, I'm on shift today. Make sure you get breakfast and have your meds. Gabby._

He looked at the time, 10am, he'd slept for well over twelve hours again, annoyed with himself for staying bed for so long he got up and showered but soon found himself sat on the closed toilet seat steadying himself to get dressed and wishing that normal everyday tasks weren't such an achievement when he finally felt able to get dressed. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror when a sudden bout of anger took hold, he was fed up of feeling so miserable and weak; suddenly he flung the contents of the shelf across the bathroom. He was panting heavily and sat back down with his hand in his hands.

If he wanted to feel better and be back at work soon he needed a plan. Casey loved lists and plans, they organised a world that could be so chaotic and out of control. Today he would go for a walk and hopefully by this time next week he could be exercising properly again. He realised one of the reasons he probably felt so tired all the time was the lack of fresh air and the little food he'd eaten since the accident. He was going to change all that starting today and he knew he'd feel better if he had some sort of a schedule to stick to; he worked well following a plan.

He had a full bowl of cereal for breakfast and took his pills before he donned his winter coat and hat, grabbed his keys and phone and left the house. The fresh air felt good even if the wind was cold and bitter it was nice to be out in the fresh air. Disappointingly after only about half an hour he realised he should turn back home; he was cold and tired. As he headed home he heard his phone, he pulled it out his pocket and looked at the screen, Dawson, "Hey," he answered.

 _"Hey? Where are you?"_ she demanded.

He was a little taken aback with her tone, "What?" he stuttered.

 _"Where are you?"_ Dawson asked again.

"Erm…" he looked round to give her a location but couldn't think of the name of the street he was on, "…out for some fresh air, why? What's wrong?"

 _"…Nothing, Matt. I just thought you'd be here,"_ Dawson explained.

"Here?" he asked.

 _"Home,"_ she replied.

"Oh," he said, "sorry, I didn't realise…"

 _"Nah, we were just coming back from a call, thought I'd…"_ Dawson began.

"…Check in on me?" he said lightly.

 _"Well…You were pretty out of it when we got back yesterday…"_ she said with concern, _"And you woke up in the middle of night calling my name…"_ he couldn't remember that and he honestly couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming about before he woke up.

"Well, I'm fine now," he reassured her, "How's shift?"

 _"It's fine, we better head back to the House, speak to me later?"_ Dawson said.

"Sure, have a good day," he said before they both hung up.

The walk back home took longer because he'd slowed down and by the time he was back he just wanted to lie down but instead he ate lunch before he sat down at his computer. He hadn't checked his construction business emails since before the accident but he hadn't had any calls so he didn't expect many, over winter there tended to much less work than during the summer months which was fortunate for him at the moment seeing as he was under strict orders not to do anything strenuous. He was lucky to be getting a generous sick leave package and was fortunate that he had no mortgage to pay as he'd bought the run down house outright with savings after he and Hallie had split up. There was only one email asking for a decking quotation, he began getting all the information together but gave up as the words began to blur, he decided to rest and look at it again later. He soon found himself waking up on the sofa, the TV was on and his phone was ringing, he glanced at the screen before he accepted to call but his vision was still blurry having only just woken, "Hello?"  
 _  
"Hey, tomorrow?"_ it was Severide.

"Oh," he replied lamely, he hadn't given the movie night another thought since his friend originally invited him last night.

 _"Shay's now going out and pretty sure Otis is sneaking out to see Katie…So you've got to come or I will end up sitting on my own drinking beer,"_ Severide tried to persuade him.

"Isn't that what you usually do?" he replied slyly.  
 _  
"Yup…very true,"_ Severide laughed, _"I'll swing by and pick you around six? And you can stay the night so I can have a drink."  
_  
"Sure," he'd been persuaded, or at least didn't have an excuse not to go. He knew he'd enjoy it once he was there, he just hoped he didn't have and memory lapses whilst he was there as they tended to happen when he was tired and by 6pm tomorrow night he knew he would be.

 _"Great, I'll see tomorrow,"_ Severide replied before they both said their goodbyes.

After Casey had dinner and his medication he fell asleep watching the TV and didn't wake up until Dawson was gently shaking his shoulder and calling his name in the morning. Oh crap _,_ he thought as he woke up blearily, sleeping the night on the sofa in front of the TV was not the best position he could have been found in by Dawson in his current state.

"Spend the night on the sofa?" she asked him. She didn't seem too concerned and still half asleep he didn't bother to say that he hadn't, she shook her with a smile, "You'll be aching!" she smiled.

"It's quite a comfy sofa," he admitted.

"Yeah, you'd know," she grinned. It was true he had slept on his sofa a lot recently and even before the accident he'd spent nights asleep in the lounge rather than his room. "Breakfast?" she suggested.

"Why don't we go out for breakfast?" he asked brightly, determined for things to get back to normal as soon as possible.

"Really?" she asked with surprise evident in her voice.

"You don't need to sound so shocked," he grinned, "Yeah, I feel good, I think my cold has finally gone and I feel good," he looked up at her with bright eyes.

"That's brilliant, I was really worried about you…" she began.

"You never need to worry about me," he smiled wide eyed at her, "If something was wrong, I'd tell you," he knew exactly what she and everyone wanted to hear when they were worried about him, he knew how to hide his feelings and he knew how to show everyone else that he was perfectly fine. It was an act he'd learnt from an early age and there had only been a few times in his life that it had been broken, and he wasn't going to let this injury break it because he was sure that soon enough he would actually feel a hundred per cent.

Sat in the diner Matt soon realised it had been a mistake to have breakfast out of the house. Everyone was looking at him; they were all staring at the back of his head. He looked around to try to see everyone looking at him when he turned back to face Dawson he saw her lips moving but he couldn't hear anything she was saying, "What?" he asked, the voice didn't sound like his own, it was annoyed and Dawson looked shocked.

"I was just saying take your hat off, you'll roast in here…" Dawson explained gently.

"Oh, right, sorry," he mumbled. He looked around before slowly slipping his hat off his head, revealing his injury to the world.

"Morning. What can I get for you both?" a waitress said overly cheerfully

"Can I have a full English please and a black coffee," Dawson replied

"Love? What will have?" the waitress asked him.

He hadn't been able to focus on the menu that was held up high behind the counter, "The same," he replied simply.

Dawson stopped the waitress from leaving, "Just one coffee, and a juice instead of the other please," he frowned at her across the table, "You still shouldn't have any caffeine, baby," she said gently to him.

The waitress intervened, "We have de-caff?"

"Juice is fine, thank you," Dawson replied and the waitress left. Juice was not fine. He was being spoken of like a child and everyone was staring at him. This had been a huge mistake. "Baby? What's wrong?" Dawson asked.

"Nothing," he beamed.

"Nothing? What do you keep looking around at?" she asked. Could she not see everyone staring at him?

"Nothing," he replied quickly with no smile this time.

"You're on edge, what's wrong? Do you want to go?" Dawson questioned.

"No, I'm fine, I'm hungry but I'm fine," he smiled forcefully.

"I'm sorry about the coffee…" Dawson said gently.

"It's fine. I just forgot that it's not the best idea right now," he said with another forced smile. He really did just want to get out of here and away from all the prying eyes. Thankfully their breakfast soon arrived and he tried to ignore the rest of the diner as he ate. He felt so self-conscious of the incision scar on the back of his head, unconsciously he kept touching it and trying to smooth his hair over it but it was useless, his hair was not long enough and the hair growing around the area was so short he could barely feel it.

"Had enough?" Dawson asked, breaking his stupor. He nodded, "Let's get back then. I need to go to Molly's soon," Dawson said.

"You've paid?" he wondered aloud.

Dawson frowned, "…Yeah. Just now."

"Oh yeah," he grinned, he really needed to try and concentrate more.

They left the diner and Dawson dropped him back at the house before she went to Molly's. He took his pills and considered going for another walk but he wanted plenty of energy for the night ahead. He skipped lunch; he was still satisfied from the large breakfast he'd eaten not too long ago because by the time their order had arrived it was 10:30am. Throughout the afternoon he managed to focus enough to get a quotation done for some decking, he began to start work on the library plans but his head began throbbing and his vision blurred as he tried to concentrate so he gave up and sat in front of the TV unaware that he spent most the time drifting in and out of sleep.

There was a knock at the door, he looked at the time; it was just before six, "Come in, Sev," he called out. He got up carefully and chucked a few clothes, his pills and toiletries into his duffle bag whilst his friend waited by the front door.

"Got everything?" Severide asked as he put his coat and hat on, he nodded, "Let's get going then." It was dark and cold outside but his friend's car was still warm from the journey over.

"How was Thanksgiving?" he asked as he fastened his seatbelt.

"Good," Severide replied simply as he turned the engine and started driving.

"Just good?" Casey asked.

Severide shrugged, "Don't remember most of it, me and Shay went out after dinner," his friend grinned and Matt smiled, "You had dinner with Dawson, right?"

"And her brothers family," he explained.

"And?" Severide questioned.

He shrugged, "It was nice."

"Just nice?" Severide wondered.

"Well we didn't go out clubbing afterwards if that's what you mean," he smiled and then said grimly, "Couldn't have done if I'd wanted to."

"Matt Casey want to go clubbing? If ever want to do that then there's definitely something wrong with that head of yours," Severide smirked.

It didn't take long to get to Severides apartment and just as they arrived at the front door Shay opened, "Hey Casey," she enveloped him in a hug, "How are you doing?"

He pulled out of the embrace, "Good, you?"

"Great, I'm off out now so the place is all yours until Otis gets back from his… whatever evening it is," she said with a smile.

"Nerd evening," Severide explained after he looked confused, "Have fun!" he called out to her as she left. As they entered the apartment Severide spoke, "Still on for pizza?"

"Yeah," he replied as he followed Severide into the kitchen area.

"Good cause you need some more fat on you," Severide announced and Matt looked at him wide eyed, "You've lost weight."

"You can tell?" he asked quietly.

Severide nodded, "You eating?"

He frowned, "Of course I'm eating."

"Not enough," Severide said simply.

"You lost weight when you were off so its fine, I'm fine," he said referring to the time Severide had off after his operation last year, the attention was focussed on him and he didn't like it.

"Casey I know some of the stuff they had you made you feel sick, if it's because of that then tell them," Severide said.

He sighed, "It's not that," he hesitated before he continued, "I'm just not always hungry."

"You tell the doc at your check-up?" Severide asked.

"It's nothing serious, Sev," he replied.

"That's a no then? I'm pretty sure these are sorts of things you're supposed to make him aware of," Severide admonished.

"I know," he admitted, "But I can deal with it on my own."

Severide sighed, "Ok," he knew he wasn't convinced but thankfully he changed the conversation, "Let's order some pizzas then!"

When the pizzas arrived they sat down with them on the sofa and began flicking through the films when Severide grinned "Oh you're not supposed to know this but Boden's really pushing for a gallantry award, I think you even get vouchers or something with it," Severide grinned.

"Why?" he asked incredulously, he didn't deserve an award.

"Cause if you weren't there that kid would have died," Severide replied simply.

"That's our job, you'd have done the same," he responded.

"Maybe," Severide said.

"Maybe? If you knew there was someone there you'd have risked it," he replied, he still had no memories of the accident.

"It was a close one, Case," Severide said grimly.

He nudged him a grinned, "If I'd not got hurt everyone would have forgotten about it by now. Now are we watching this film or not?"

They spent the remainder of the night eating pizza and watching an incredibly cheesy film whilst Severide entertained him with his running commentary, "Yeah that's it run away… right into the basement… great choice…"

During the film he fetched himself another drink and took his pills. He smiled, he had the last anticonvulsant and the doctor had said when they were finished he could drive again, he finally felt like everything was slowly going back to normal.

After the film finished Severide said he wanted an early night, although Matt thought this was purely for his benefit but he didn't object; he felt exhausted.

"Have my bed, Case, it'll be comfier than the sofa," Severide said.

"Sofa's fine, honest," he said half asleep on the sofa already.

"Ok, well I'll go and grab some sheets for you," his friend said. He was barely aware when Severide came back with extra pillows and sheets and was fast asleep before his friend even placed the bed cover over his body.

 **TBC**


	22. Twenty Two

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks once again for your lovely reviews! Always so happy when I receive them so thank you! Hope you enjoy this update!

 **Twenty Two**

 _Sunday 1st December 2013_  
 _Early morning_

Casey found himself sat upright on the sofa, it took several moments to realise where he was; he wasn't at home, he was on the sofa in Severides apartment. The kitchen area lights were on and the place was silent except for his own breathing. He didn't know what had woken him up but he felt so alert and wide eyed; a complete contrast to his usually half asleep mind since the accident. He stretched and pushed the covers off his body. Without incident he got himself a glass of water and sat back down wondering if perhaps his body had realised how much sleep it had gotten recently and now decided it wanted to remain wide awake. He didn't know how long he sat awake on the sofa before he heard rattling keys opening the apartment door, he turned round to see Shay enter, slightly unbalanced in her heals after a long night out.

"Hey," she greeted him tiredly as she walked towards him, "Can't sleep?" she asked as she sat down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Slept," he said simply and a yawn escaped his mouth.

"Looks like you should sleep again," she grinned.

"I will just…" he began.

"…Sleeping pattern all messed up right?" she finished for him.

"Yeah…" he sighed

"You'll get your routine back eventually," she reassured him as she stood up off the coffee table and leaned down towards him, a little unsteady on her feet, she put her arms around him and gave a quick hug before pulling back and saying, "I'm so glad you're ok," she smiled, "… Bet you're sick of hearing that."

He shrugged, "Better than everyone not caring, I suppose," although he would quite like it if everyone would let him get on with everything without him having to constituently reassure them that he was fine.

"Yeah," she smiled, "Well, 'night, Casey," she said before she disappeared into her room. He wasn't sure how long it took for his eyes to start to slowly close on their own accord but when they did he happily lay down and drifted off to sleep again.

When he woke he could smell breakfast cooking and once he opened his eyes it took him a few moments to orientate himself again, waking up in someone else's apartment could be confusing enough without a head injury. He had a headache, which he now realised happened when he woke later than usual. He sat up slowly and blearily. "Morning," he heard Severide greet him from the kitchen. He turned round to see him, wincing as he felt a twinge in his neck, "It's nearly eleven, thought the aroma of bacon and eggs would bring you back to the conscious world," his friend grinned.

"Sorry, if you wanted the sofa back you could have…" he started, a little embarrassed he'd been fast asleep in the middle of his friend's apartment for so long.

"Nah, I've not been up long and Shay said you were awake when she got in so figured you needed to sleep," Severide explained completely unbothered that he'd slept for so long, he was glad his friend didn't make a fuss over it like Dawson seemed to whenever he did something out of his usual routine. He was unaware that the truth was Severide had been awake for a while; he'd been for a run, showered, seen Shay briefly as she got a drink and some aspirin before he started making breakfast. The smell of cooking actually started to make him feel quite queasy as he got up and joined Severide in the kitchen only to be told to sit and the table and wait. Severide brought him a glass of juice before placing a large plate of breakfast in front of him. There was no way he was going to be able to eat it all. Severide spoke to him whilst he ate but he didn't pay much attention to what he was saying, he was concentrating on tackling the mountain of bacon and eggs on his plate.

The nausea that had begun before he ate had now swelled. Quickly he stood up, only to be hit by another dizzying wave of queasiness; he staggered to the bathroom and fell to his knees in front of the toilet. His chest heaved as he threw up the contents of his stomach. He could barely take a breath and his eyes watered as he shakily held onto the seat. After what seemed like an age he began dry heaving. He wasn't sure what was worse emptying the contents of his stomach or the continued contraction of his stomach muscles when there was nothing left to come up. Thankfully it was all over soon and he could finally take a breath, his chest felt tight and he noticed a hand on his back. "Too much too soon?" Severide questioned. He hardly had any energy left to response and he was still catching his breath so he just looked to him briefly and gave a slight affirming nod. He collapsed back onto the tiled bathroom wall. Severide disappeared and reappeared again with a glass of water, placing it next to him on the floor.

Once he got his breath back and his stomach finally settled he had a small drink before he muttered an honest, "Sorry," which Severide promptly dismissed.

"Grab a shower. Freshen up, you'll feel better," his friend said as he pulled out a fresh towel from the cupboard in the corner. Matt just nodded his head in acknowledgement and Severide left the room. He wasn't sure he could trust himself to stand up with being threatened by a wave of nausea. Once he plucked up the courage he stood up on shaking legs, stripped off, got in the shower and turned on the water. The hot stream that cascaded soothingly down his body and when he was done the small bathroom was full of steam.

He returned to the kitchen area once he was dressed. His head was throbbing and he realised with his late start to the day he had still not had any painkillers.

"Better?" Severide asked him. His friend had cleared up the table and was now pouring himself a mug of coffee.

"Much," he replied as he grabbed the painkillers from his bag. He swallowed them down with a glass of water and then asked, "Do you have plans today?"

"Dinner with Katie tonight, that's it," Severide replied.

"You're making her cook again?" He asked curiously.

"No," Severide sniggered, "Taking her out. Her mum seems a lot more interested in her other kids," he explained sombrely.

"Benny?" he asked with a frown.

His friend shrugged and replied, "He was taking an interest but he's gone again."

"Parents, 'ey," he said, raising his eyebrows knowingly.

"Who'd have 'em," Severide grinned and shook his head, "You spoken to your mum?" he asked.

"No," he replied simply.

"Really? She didn't even see you when you were awake…" Severide said coldly.

He shrugged, "The doctor spoke to her and said I was fine though, right?" some memories from his stay in hospital were a little hazy and jumbled but he did remember Severide telling him about his mum.

"Yeah, you'd think she'd called you at least?" Severide said.

He found himself shrugging again, "I dunno what goes on in my mums head," he grinned.

"Your sister?" Severide asked and he frowned, "Spoken to her?" Severide explained.

"Oh," he replied, "No," he said and he watched as his friend raised his eyebrows questioningly, "They've got their own lives… busy lives."

"Too busy for you?" Severide asked.

"I'm fine. And if I wasn't I wouldn't want either of them fussing over," he smiled, hoping it was the end of the conversation. He didn't have any intention to speak to his mum but he would contact his sister, after all they were supposed to be more engaged with each other's lives since their mum was out on parole. He took his drink, placed it on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa. His chest still ached slightly from the uncomfortable heaving.

"Hey, I'm sorry for going on about your mum and…" he heard Severide as came over to join him on the sofa.

"It's fine. Just needed to sit down," he explained honestly.

"Feel sick?" his friend, now sat next to him, asked with concern.

He shook his head, "Just tired."

"Listen, let's just spend the day on the sofa, got a few games recorded that I wanna watch, sound good?" Severide suggested. They sat on the sofa together well into the late afternoon watching the TV, or in Casey's case it was a mix of sleeping and watching the TV.

Back at home after his friend dropped him off, he found himself sat in the kitchen looking down at his phone contemplating whether or not to ring his sister. He didn't have anything to say to her but after speaking to Severide earlier he realised he should have let her know that he was home and doing perfectly fine but, he thought, she hadn't asked so maybe she wasn't interested. He sighed and hit the call button next to her name. The phone rang a few times before it was picked up.

 _"Hey, Matt,"_ Christie greeted him, _"How are you? Gabby said you got discharged. I was wondering if you'd ever call."_

"Oh…" he stumbled over his words, he hadn't realised Dawson has spoken to her, "I'm good. Sorry I've not called things have been…"

 _"It's ok, Gabby kept me informed. I'm just glad you're ok,"_ she explained through the phone and after a moment she asked, _"Have you spoken to mum about Christmas?"_

"Christmas?" he repeated.

"Yeah, I just wondered if we were all doing something or not?" she explained.

 _"Oh, I don't think so,"_ he said thinking out loud, _"Why? Do you want to?"_ he asked quickly, realised that perhaps she wanted them all to get together.

"What are your plans?" she asked.

"For Christmas? I'm not sure, I've not spoken to Gabby about it yet," he replied. He was never one to be overly bothered about the holidays, maybe because a lot of the time he would end up working depending how his shifts fell. Most the time he and Hallie had spent the holiday period together, he would have preferred to spend it alone with just Hallie but most of the time he ended up going along to family functions with her. He remembered one year they'd had a massive argument about it and nearly ended up going their separate ways because he had suggested they go on holiday over Christmas as he had plenty of furlough to use up but she had wanted to spend it with her family.

 _"Ok, well you're both welcome to come over to ours, Jim's parents are coming over. His sister and her family may be joining us as well so it should be a good day,"_ she explained.

"Ok, I'll let Gabby know," he replied though he wasn't sure he was even going to mention the idea to her, he barely knew Jim and had never met his family before and it wasn't something he would enjoy doing on Christmas day.

 _"I better go, Matt, I need to go and pick Violet up from her friend's house,"_ his sister explained, _"Speak soon?"_

"Of course, bye," he said goodbye and ended the call.

He moved from his seat in the kitchen to the lounge where he sat down on the sofa with a sigh. He was bored. He felt like he'd been watching TV or sleeping forever. Looking outside he saw the torrential downpour that had begun whilst he was on the phone to his sister, he glared miserably at it. The outside world was already growing dark; he was stuck inside with little to entertain himself with. He had lied to Severide earlier when he said he didn't feel sick, he still felt slightly nauseous especially at the thought of food but he decided it was because all he had eaten at Severides was fatty greasy foods. He began reading a book but soon opted for watching the TV again, he just didn't seem to be able to concentrate and every now and then the words blurred and looked scattered across the page.

There was a knock at the door, he got up and opened it. He smiled broadly when he saw Dawson stood outside, "Hey," he greeted her happily.

"You're in a good mood," she smiled.

"I am now," he grinned, he had gotten so bored just sat watching the TV, "You can let yourself in you know," he smiled.

"I know," she smiled, "It was just in case you weren't descent," she explained.

"I don't make a habit of strolling around the house naked," he sniggered, "And besides you've seen me… un-descent!" he smirked.

They were sat on the sofa together when Dawson asked, "Will you come Christmas shopping with me next weekend? Shay's visiting her sister and it'd be nice to have some company and help," she smiled, "Really need to get myself organised before I go away."

"Away?" he asked, unsure of what she was talking about.

"On the 12th…" Dawson replied with a frown, "Long weekend away with two of my friends from high school," she explained.

"Oh right, yeah, slipped my mind," he replied although he couldn't remember being told about the trip at all.

"You don't need to water my plants now though, I've already asked Shay," she explained.

"I don't mind doing it, I can drive now," he smiled.

"You can?" she frowned.

"Yeah," he replied lightly, "Finished the anticonvulsants," he said with a pleased smile.

"He doesn't want to keep you on them?" she asked without sharing any of his enthusiasm.

"He said they were just a precaution. It's been two weeks Gabby," he smiled forcibly; concerned she didn't seem very impressed with him.

"Two weeks ago you were seizing in the back of the ambo, Matt!" she said with her voice raised, he could tell she was forcing herself not to yell.

"I…" he didn't really know what say, he didn't understand what he had done wrong, "…I know," he responded lamely.

"It scared me so much and now…" Dawson began but stopped before she finished.

"And now what?" he questioned with a frown, his voice had risen, angry that he didn't know what he had done wrong.

"And now it's like you're pretending it didn't happen," she admitted.

"Pretending it… what?" he questioned with confusion, "And you were scared? I was scared too!" he raised his voice. He may not remember the ambulance journey but he remembered waking up more than once in the hospital in pain, barely able to move and completely disorientated. When Dawson didn't say anything the words just continued to slip out of his mouth, there was no stopping them, "I didn't know where I was, what had happened. I didn't understand any of it… and it hurt like hell…" he paused, "I don't want to remind myself of that every day."

After a few moments when Dawson still hadn't said anything he muttered, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell."

She put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head, "No, I'm sorry, baby… I just… I didn't think of it like that I'm sorry," she spoke sincerely.

"So…Christmas shopping next weekend then?" he said with another forced smiled to change the subject.

"Yeah," Dawson smiled, taking her hand off his shoulder, "Would be great if wanted to come with me, we can make a day of it, get some lunch and have several coffee shop stops," she suggested and he nodded in agreement.

They spent the rest of the evening having a small dinner together and watching the news before both of them got into bed and slept. Casey had spent the evening slightly worried that Dawson would bring up the fact that he admitted to being scared in the hospital but she never said a word and he was beyond grateful.

 **TBC**


	23. Twenty Three

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks again for the reviews! Hope you like this update! _  
_  
 **Twenty Three**

 _Monday 2_ _nd_ _December 2013  
Early morning_

Casey woke with a start. He bolted upright, breathing heavily. He pushed away the covers that felt like they were trapping him to the bed like the wires and tubes had when he first awoke in the hospital after the accident.

"Matt?" he heard Dawson question sleepily. He swore inwardly as he realised his chaotic movements had woken her and she was now lying coverless on the bed, "Nightmare?"

"Apparently," he muttered as he fumbled at the bed covers to bring them back over Dawson before he lay back down.

"You don't remember it?" Dawson asked, sounding more awake now.

He shook his head negatively, though he realised she probably couldn't see in the darkness of the room, "No," he felt her wrap her arms around him comfortingly, "Sorry I woke you," he apologised.

"Don't apologise," she said softly, "Although if you start keeping me awake every night by snoring or something then we're gonna have to have a serious talk," she sniggered sleepily.

"Good thing I don't snore then, don't want to get kicked out my own bed," he replied with a grin hidden by the darkness. He sighed and snuggled under the bed covers, returning Dawson's hug.

They lay together in silence for a while before Dawson carefully asked, "Matt, do you remember the accident?"

He didn't answer straight away, he wondered about telling her the truth, that he couldn't even remember the two days before he was injured let alone the accident itself, "…Just bits and pieces," and before Dawson could reply he added, "Doc said it's just because of the concussion, won't affect anything," he didn't want her to worry.

"Are you having nightmares about it?" Dawson continued cautiously.

"I said I didn't remember it," he replied sleepily. It was true, if it weren't for the fact he had woken up panicked and confused he wouldn't had known the cause of his abrupt consciousness.

"You've had a few recently… you don't remember any of them?" Dawson probed.

He turned from his back onto his right hand side to face her, "Everyone gets nightmares, Gabby. I've had them before, and I'll probably have them again. Doesn't mean that I'm not ok," he spoke sincerely.

"Maybe you should tell your doctor or talk to someone about them?" Dawson asked, treading lightly.

He feigned ignorance and replied, "I am, I'm talking to you."

"Yeah…" Dawson replied and that was the end of the conversation, he turned away from her and drifted off to sleep unaware that she remained awake a little longer looking at his sleeping form with worry.

A persistent high pitched noise woke him up, he sighed, not ready to wake up but he opened his eyes blearily and turned over to see Dawson moving to sit up on the side of the bed, "Hey," he greeted her groggily.

"Sorry the alarm woke you," she turned around and apologised.

He shook his head and slowly propped himself up onto his elbows, "Nah, I might as well get up too," he said.

"No, baby," she smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, "You might as well go back to sleep," he frowned, "Its 6:30am, I wanted to go for a run before shift," she explained gently.

"Oh," he uttered as she gently pushed him back down onto the bed, he settled back under the covers and watched Dawson change before he said, "Hopefully I'll be able to join you soon, I must be so unfit right now…"

"It won't take you long to get back to where you were, baby," she said softly, "Just don't rush it," she advised.

"Yes, doctor," he teased sleepily as he let his eyes fall close and drifted back to sleep.

The next time he woke up he felt much more rested, he showered, had some breakfast along with his painkillers before settling down at the dining room table where he spent the best part of the day making a start on Nathan's school library plans. However he had to take several breaks in between as he found his vision blurred and he lost his concentration easily but by late afternoon he was impressed with his progress despite it not being up to his usual standard. He finally felt like he was getting better and normal everyday tasks were becoming simple once again. By the time he finished his heated up dinner and had his pain medication he felt slightly claustrophobic having spent the whole day inside the house. He grabbed his phone and keys and went for a walk. He walked briskly for several blocks before he tired and took a more leisurely pace back home. It was dark out now and the streets were quiet. He was glad it wasn't busy he couldn't face people staring at him like they had done in the diner.

Back at home he closed the curtains, grabbed and drink and lay down on the sofa and began flicking through the TV channels only to discover there was little on, he settled for the History Channel when his phone rang, it was Dawson, _"Hey, baby,"_ she greeted him and he muted the TV.

"Hey, nice to hear you voice," he admitted, he was going to go stir crazy with several more weeks stuck 'taking it easy.'

 _"Been bored?"_ Dawson asked.

"No, just…" he began.

 _"Fed up?"_ she suggested.

"Yeah that sounds about right," he admitted with a yawn, now he was lying down on the sofa he realised his body was tired just from his walk.

 _"Why don't we go to the lake tomorrow?"_ she asked.

"Yeah…We can go for a run," he sniggered.

 _"Ha yeah… though I'm sure you'll run laps around me when you're back at it,"_ she said.

"Yeah right," he said mordantly before changing the subject, "How's shift?"

 _"You want all the gossip?"_ she asked and a small laugh followed through the receiver.

"Yeah go on then," he grinned at her enthusiasm and lay his head down on the pillow.

 _"Too bad then; there isn't any. It is positively boring here without you!"_ she teased.

"I doubt that," he replied tiredly.

 _"You in bed?"_ she asked.

"No," he said incredulously, "It's like…" he glanced round to the clock on the wall, "…Not even 7pm yet."

 _"You sound tired,"_ she said stated the obvious, he always sounded tired at the moment whether he was or not.

"Yeah it's tiring doing nothing all day apparently," he frowned.

There were several voices on the end of line suddenly, he couldn't make out what was being said and then the line cleared and Dawson spoke, _"Sorry,"_ she laughed, _"That was Cruz and Otis saying everyone is missing you and they want you back,"_ she explained.

"I wanna be back," he said with a sigh.

 _"The time will fly by when you start getting busy again,"_ Dawson said sympathetically.

"Yeah I guess," he said, although he doubted it, things were going too slowly at the moment for his liking and there didn't seem to be anything he could do about but wait and take it easy like the doctor had ordered.

He heard the alarms go off through the phone before Dawson said, " _I gotta go, baby, get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."_ He put the phone down and sighed, missing the firehouse. He realised he was of course welcome to stop by there whenever he liked but he knew it just wouldn't be the same as being on shift. He turned the volume up on the TV but it wasn't long before he felt himself drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without realising he was still lying on the narrow sofa and not in his own bed was not a pleasant experience that he wished to repeat. A vivid nightmare was the cause; there were jolts and flashes of memories, incidents throughout his career, throughout his life. Memories of his parents, Hallie, Dawson, Severide and Darden. Memories he didn't want to repeat, incidents that were kept under lock and key in his head, masked by years of practice. Apparently his recent injury had broken down the barrier he had erected, he hadn't remembered the subject of his previous nightmares but it was a sure bet that it was these images that were plaguing him and why he found himself waking up with such a start that he very nearly fell off the sofa and onto the cold floor beneath. Despite his lethargy his quick reflex actions made sure he steadied himself before he met the cold hard surface but left him sat up on the sofa breathing heavily.

His top was drenched in sweat and as he remained sitting still on the sofa he began to get colder and colder so he showered and changed. The TV was still on, playing infomercials so he switched it off and sat down with a glass of juice, he felt like he needed the energy from it; his body felt jittery from the lack sugar and lethargic all at the same time but after glancing at the time he wasn't surprised as it was nearly 4am. He brought his knees up to his chest and stared at the TVs blank screen. He could see his slightly distorted reflection looking back at him and he sighed thinking about the images that had flashed through his nightmare ridden mind, unconsciously he wrapped an arm around his own neck and felt along the incision line that ended there, it was hard to think that just over two weeks ago the accident that could have easily killed or disabled him had taken place. He found it difficult to think about, perhaps because he couldn't even recollect the call itself, or the days preceding the incident, it was difficult to understand how or what had happened when he couldn't remember it. He picked up his phone and momentarily thought about messaging Dawson to ask her if she was awake and if he could call her but he dismissed the idea almost immediately; he didn't want her to worry and what exactly would he say? 'Sorry I've been lying and I have no idea what happened and it scares me and I'm fairly certain I keep blacking out or something because I'm still missing chunks of time right now…' He shook his head; there was no way that conversation was ever going to happen. Maybe he would message Severide but once again as soon at the thought appeared in his head he dismissed, his friend would know something was up as soon as he suggested he just wanted to chat about anything to distract him from his own mind. So he ended up sitting alone and wide awake on the sofa until he saw the sun rise through the crack in the curtains.

He ate breakfast and took his pills and changed from his sweatpants to a pair of jeans, which were still looser than usual around his hips, he freshened up in the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror; he looked tired but no more than usual despite his abrupt awakening in the early hours of the morning.

The front door creaked open after he heard the rattle of keys. Dawson had arrived, "Hey," he greeted her with a hug which was reciprocated.

"Miss me?" she smiled.

"I did," he grinned as he pulled back from her but still kept his arms around her, "Would you like breakfast? I've eaten but I can offer you an omelette from eggs with a questionable expiry date, cereal with no milk or toast with no butter," he continued grinning.

She let out a small laugh and smile grew across her face, she moved away from his hold and said, "I think we should go to a shop and get some fresh on our way back from the lake so you're not living entirely off Cindy's meals because no matter how much you like Sunday dinner you cannot have it for breakfast," she let out another laugh and shook her head, "When did you run out?" she questioned with wonder. He gave a non-committal shrug in response; he had actually only just finished the milk this morning and the butter yesterday. She smiled and shook her head but he something else in her eyes, sadness.

"How was shift?" he probed.

"Fine," she replied briskly, making no more eye contact with him.

"Gabby?" he questioned softly, "What happened?"

Looking down at the ground she shook her head before looking back to him, "A kid," she stated simply.

He understood how she felt; it was always harder to dealing with any children involved. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave a quick squeeze and with a frown asked, "Do you wanna stay in and watch films all day?" he knew that sometimes she just liked to sit and not think about bad calls, to switch off from it just like he did.

She smiled gratefully but said, "No. Let's go to the lake. It'll be good to get out the house," she paused, "For both of us."

They pulled up at the lake, Dawson had insisted on driving despite his protests saying that he could now drive, out of the warmth of the car the air was brisk and the cold wind felt harsh across his face, he pulled his jumper hood out of his coat and up over his hat to provide more protection against the bitter weather. They didn't walk for long before they stopped at a coffee stand and ordered two hot chocolates. Sitting down on a bench facing the lake Matt wrapped both his hands round the cardboard cup in an attempt to warm them up. Once the feeling came back to them he placed his right arm over Dawson's shoulder hoping to keep her warm as they drank their hot chocolates.

"This is nice," Dawson said.

He frowned and sniggered, "It's freezing…" he took his arm back and put his hand back on the cup to keep warm.

"…Yeah," she admitted, "Maybe we should just walk back to the car."

"I like the sound of that," he smiled. It wasn't pleasant weather to be out in and he was starting to feel the effects of his early morning start, despite the fresh air his eyes just wanted to close on their own accord and he was struggling to focus. The cardboard cup blurred as focused on the writing that was adorning it. His head ached and despite the cloud cover in the sky he squinted against the brightness of the outside world.

"…Baby?" Dawson had placed a hand on his arm.

"Huh?" he looked up at her surprised she was no longer sat down next to him.

"Shall we go then?" she asked, her smiled was accompanied by a small frown. He nodded and stood up but he swayed slightly, she grabbed his arms steadying him, "You ok?"

"Tired," he said quickly.

"Let's get back to the car then," she put her arm around him and he did the same to her as they walked the short distance back to her car.

The warmth of the car was enough to send him straight to sleep as they began their journey.

 **TBC**


	24. Twenty Four

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks again for the lovely reviews! Hope you like this update!

 **Twenty Four**

 _Tuesday 3_ _rd_ _December 2013  
Mid-day_

Casey woke up and was immediately confused by his surroundings. It took several moments to realise he was buckled into Dawson's cars passenger seat leaning heavily on the window. He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head hoping to clear his vision. Dawson was nowhere to be seen but with his vision now clear he could see the supermarket logo above the entrance through the car window. He wasn't waiting for long before she appeared carrying a full bag of groceries which she carefully balanced in one arm as she opened the driver side door. She passed him the bag and said, "Hope you don't mind that I didn't wake you."

"It's fine," he said gruffly before he cleared his throat, "I'll pay you back for these," he said indicating to the brown bag of groceries that was now on his lap.

She dismissed him as she pulled out of the parking space, "Don't worry about it."

It didn't take long to get to his house and once the engine was off Matt opened his door and began to get out the car with the shopping bag in his arms only to be stopped by Dawson. She attempted to take the shopping bag, "I've got it, Gabby," he muttered.

"Matt, I read the after care information you were given. There's actually two pints of milk in that bag plus all the other groceries. I'll take it," she admonished and took the bag off his lap.

In the house he sat down at the dining room table and left Dawson to put away the shopping, "Do you want lunch now, baby?" she called from the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry," he said quietly.

"What?" she asked as she popped her head out of the kitchen.

"Later," he replied with a tired smile.

She came out of the kitchen, stood behind him and put her arms around him, "Why don't you go and have a nap?"

"Because I'm not two," he said.

"No but you are…" she began.

He interrupted her, "Ill?"

"No. Recuperating. So you're allowed to sleep in the middle of the day, baby," she explained gently.

Just then his phone rang, Dawson let go of him and stepped back as he pulled his phone from his pocket, it was Severide, "Hey," he greeted him

 _"What are you doing tonight?"_ he asked enthusiastically.

"Erm nothing," he replied.

 _"Dawson over?"_ Severide asked and she must have been able to hear their conversation as she shook her head and mouthed, 'Molly's'.

"She's working," he said.

 _"Take away and a movie at yours then?"_ Severide suggested.

"Maybe not a take-away…" he said remembering how he had thrown up the morning after last time, "I have food in we can eat."

 _"Sounds good, I'll see you later,"_ Severide replied.

"Yeah, see ya," he said and hung the phone.

Dawson was sat on the sofa now so he stood up and joined her, "Sorry we weren't out the house very long this morning," she said.

"It December, it's freezing, I think we lasted as long as we could," he smiled.

"I know, I just wanted do something so you weren't bored. I know you hate just waiting around," she said sympathetically.

"Well, after my check up this Thursday I should be able to go the gym, go for a run, and accept any constructions jobs I get," he smiled.

Dawson frowned, "Thursday? We're on shift," she stated, "You'll have to take a cab."

He shook his head, "I can drive."

"Maybe you shouldn't…" she said quickly.

"Gabby, if I don't feel up to it then I won't but I _can_ drive now," he said insistently.

After a while they sat and had lunch and then spent most of the afternoon together on the sofa, he drifted off to sleep briefly before Dawson had to get ready and go to Molly's. When Severide arrived he was sat checking his emails on his laptop. "I bring non-alcoholic goodness," Severide grinned as he held up a case of beer when Matt opened the door to let him inside, Severide placed the beer down on the coffee table before announcing he had to go and get something else from the car. He arrived back inside carrying a large box, "Shay thought you were probably sick of watching TV so Otis has leant us this," he explained indicating inside the box. There was an Xbox and several games to choose from lying inside, "I'll get it set up," Severide stated with a grin.

"You want dinner? I've got stuff we can just heat up or I could do pasta or something?" Casey suggested as he stood watching his friend taking the game console out of the box.

"You sit," he commanded with a smile, "I'm sure I can whip up something nice," he said and left the Xbox on the floor as he headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

"Please don't burn down my kitchen," he uttered, now sat down on the sofa.

"I heard that, Casey," Severide called from the kitchen.

Casey sniggered and slid to his knees and over to the TV where he began to connect the console. Sat back on the sofa and flicking through a magazine he heard a clattering from the kitchen, he decided to investigate. Upon entering the room it looked more like a bomb site than a kitchen, "What are you doing?" he grinned; he'd never seen his kitchen in such a mess.

"Cooking," Severide said quickly looking up from the oven.

"Cooking?" he repeated, "Looks like you're just making a mess."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mr OCD Casey," he joked, "It'll taste good, I promise."

Thirty minutes later they were sat on the sofa, Matt looked down at the plate he had just been handed, "It's burnt," he stated and Severide shot him a look, "I mean, it looks good… It's just a little… crispy…"

"Pick around it. I'm sure it'll be fine underneath…" Severide suggested with an unconvinced expression across his face.

Ten minutes later Severide took both their plates to the kitchen and returned with a bottle opener, "It was nice, Kelly," Casey said regarding their dinner.

"You're a terrible liar, Matt Casey," Severide stated as he opened two bottles on non-alcoholic beer and passed one to him.

He shrugged and took a sip from the bottle, "Hey, I ate it didn't I?"

"There must be something wrong with your oven," Severide insisted with a smile. Matt sniggered and held his hands up in mock surrender, spilling his drink slightly in the process, when Severide shot him another look. "Whatever," Severide said, "I'm gonna kick your ass on this now!" he held up one of the Xbox games before inserting it into the disc drive.

Casey knew Severide was indeed 'gonna kick his ass'; it didn't take long at all for his vision to blur and his concentration to waiver and his head to start throbbing dully. The screen was split and he kept forgetting which side he was supposed to be focused on and his reactions were slow; his character kept dying, "Damnit," he muttered frustratingly.

"Case?" Severide questioned with concern evident in his tone.

"What?" he snapped angrily at him.

"…It's just a game, Matt," Severide smiled gently.

"What?" he repeated without the anger this time, he wasn't bothered that his character kept dying he was bothered about why he kept dying; because he had no idea what he was doing and could barely concentrate, "Oh, yeah, sorry," he muttered.

"Are you ok?" Severide asked.

"Yeah," he smiled but he could tell Severide didn't believe him, "… Bit of a headache, that's all."

"The game," Severide sighed, "Worst idea ever. I should have thought…"

"What?" he felt like he was broken record, constantly repeating words.

"The game; it's probably given you the headache," Severide explained, "Oh, and you've not had your meds, have you?" he frowned, he had no idea if he had or hadn't, attempting to play the game had really thrown him and everything was now confusing and it was difficult to focus and recall whether he had or hadn't had any painkillers, "Oh, yeah," he said with a forced smile before he got up. As soon as he was upright the room around him shifted with such a disorientating pace that he fell straight to his knees. Immediately he felt Severide by his side, "Case?"

Even now as he was sat still on the floor, partly supported by Severide, he felt nauseous and dizzy, "Er… I don't feel so good," he admitted slowly and quietly, blearily looking at his friend.

"That's ok," Severide replied gently, "We'll just sit here for a bit," he continued softly, Matt was so grateful that he didn't seem to be making a big deal out of this like he was sure Dawson would, "Just two guys hanging out on the floor," Severide sniggered, making light of the situation, "…You're not gonna throw up on me, are you?"

He smiled even as waves of dizziness continued to hit him, "Don't think so," he muttered.

"Don't think so? I want a hundred per cent confirmation that I'm not gonna get barfed on, Casey," Severide continued joking.

After a few moments he said, "I think I'm good now."

"We'll just stay down here a little longer, just to be sure," Severide said gently, "You look tired, maybe you should get an early night, did get much sleep last night?"

"I…" he began slightly hesitantly, "… I woke up early, couldn't get back to sleep," he admitted quietly, "But I slept in the car earlier," he added.

"You're probably exhausted, no wonder you feel dizzy," Severide exclaimed, "This is probably the longest you've been awake since the accident… wait… you couldn't sleep? How come?" he probed.

"No reason. Just couldn't," he replied.

"Why'd you wake up so early?" Severide asked.

He grinned sleepily, "What is this? Twenty Questions?"

"Just indulge me," Severide said.

He sighed and looked away, "I… erm… I had nightmare."

"Ah happens to all of us," Severide said, completely un-phased by his admission, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Nah, I'm good," he smiled.

"Was it the accident?" Severide had ignored him.

"Er yeah," he lied hoping to end the conversation sooner rather than later.

"Well if you do ever wanna talk about it I'm all ears," Severide smiled.

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered, "Permission to get up, Doctor Severide?" he smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't collapse on me, pretty sure Boden would take my squad if you died on my watch… and Dawson would kill me," he joked.

"I'm fine," he insisted and managed to prove it as he stood up from the floor with the help of the coffee table and the sofa arm, "See?" he smiled tiredly.

"Pills and bed," Severide stated. Casey didn't even try to protest and once in bed he happily let his eyes close and let himself drift off into the world of sleep.

Exhausted he slept through the night waking up blearily to the early morning sun shining through the gap in his bedroom curtains. He turned over in bed to discover he was alone and then slowly remembered Dawson was working last night and must have just gone to her own house, he was a little disappointed but he hadn't invited her over and she had never said she was going to come back to his. He frowned thinking their relationship must be pretty boring for her at the moment, she loved going out, and it was really the last thing he could do or wanted to do right now, he couldn't remember the last time they'd even been on a date. He suddenly felt like he was letting her down, he should really do something nice for her, to show his appreciation for her help.

Slowly he got up and out of bed. He left his bedroom and discovered Severide sat up on the sofa, it looked like he had also just woken up, "Do you always walk round in just your boxers?" his friend asked sleepily.

"Er… I didn't know you here," he replied and then frowned in wonder, "You slept here last night? On the sofa?" Severide nodded, "I have a pull out bed in the spare room…"

"Well, now I know that," his friend smiled, "You sleep all right?"

"Fine. You?" he said simply.

"Your sofa is comfy," Severide smiled.

"Do you want breakfast before you go?" he asked.

"Nah, I'm gonna go to the gym and I'll eat after," his friend replied as he got up off the sofa.

"I actually miss going to the gym, should be able to join you there after tomorrow though," he smiled.

"Oh yeah?" Severide said with a little surprise.

"Check up tomorrow," he explained.

"Let me know how it goes," Severide said.

Severide soon left for the gym leaving Matt to have breakfast and painkillers, in the now thankfully clean and tidy kitchen, before he showered and dressed. Checking his phone he saw a couple of messages from Dawson and a missed call from Boden. He sat on the sofa to call his chief back.

Boden answered the call after a few rings, _"Casey, glad you called back."  
_  
"What's up, chief?" he asked.

 _"Just checking in,"_ Boden replied.

"Oh," he muttered.

 _"How are you doing?"_ Boden asked.

"I'm good, getting better every day," he said, "But I'm sure Severide and Dawson have been updating you?" he added knowingly.

 _"They have,"_ Boden admitted, _"I'm glad you're doing well, Casey."_

"Well I'm seeing the doctor again tomorrow but I should be back soon," he explained.

 _"That's good to hear, but do take it easy, don't rush,"_ Boden said.

"Yeah, that's what everything keeps telling me," he replied.

 _"Well it's good advice, listen to it,"_ Boden stated.

"I am, don't worry, chief," he said brightly.

 _"Good and let me know if there's anything you need,"_ Boden said.

"I will, thanks, I'll keep you updated," he informed him before they said their goodbyes.

 **TBC**


	25. Twenty Five

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks for the reviews and I hope you are all still enjoying this fic!

 **Twenty Five**

 _Wednesday 4_ _th_ _December 2013  
Mid-day_

After he had spoken to Boden on the phone Casey went for a short walk before settling down at his desk. During the course of the day he successfully managed to complete two draft designs for the library, he would show them to Severide and see which he preferred before making the final design that they would then work from. Dawson hadn't dropped by or phoned which he thought was odd as she had been constantly checking up on him after the accident, in the back of his mind he wondered if something had happened to her but he knew she had her own life to be getting on with so he didn't phone her, he didn't want to be the annoying boyfriend always checking up on her. Realising he had missed lunch he had an early dinner before popping his pain pills back. He showered, shaved, stared glumly at the dismal state of his hair for a few moments before getting into bed. He wanted an early night, other than a brief doze on the sofa he had spent most the day conscious and his mind and body were drained because of it, tomorrow he had another check up at the hospital and was going to be driving himself there now he was no longer on the anticonvulsants but he didn't want to fall asleep at the wheel and cause an accident, maybe it would have been wiser to call to and book a cab but the drive to the hospital was a short one, and easy; it would be fine.

He woke to the sound of his phone ringing, he rolled over to grab it off the bedside table and answer it, he didn't know who it was, his vision was still blurry and the brightness of the screen in the dark room made him squint, "Hello?" he questioned groggily when he accepted the call.  
 _  
"Morning, baby, just wanted to check you were up, it's a little early sorry, but you've got your check up at the hospital today,"_ it was Dawson.

"I know," he slurred, "And I am up…now, what's the time?" he asked as he looked blearily at the clock in his room, unable to make out the time.

 _"Just after seven, I'm on my way to the house_ ," she replied.

"Oh, I don't need to be there until twelve," he stated sleepily, last night he had set an alarm on his phone in case he didn't wake up naturally.

 _"Ok, I hope it goes well; be honest with him, Matt,"_ she advised through the receiver.

"I always am," he replied tiredly.

 _"Matt, baby, he's there to help you so just don't not saying anything to him if there's something you're worried about,"_ she urged him.

"Gabby," he began, "I'm not worried about anything."

He heard her sigh quietly at the end of the line, _"Ok, well, let me know how it goes and I'll see you tomorrow morning,"_ she said.

"I will, have a good shift, bye," he ended the call and placed the phone back on the bedside table. The light that shone through the crack in the middle of the curtains barely lit up the bedroom so he turned the lamp on to help persuade him out of bed before stretching and turning to lie flat on his stomach. He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew was his alarm going off bringing him abruptly to consciousness. He groaned tiredly as he stretched once more and sat up on the side of the bed, hoping by the time he was back at work waking up would be easier. He had a quick breakfast, dry swallowed his pills, refreshed himself in the bathroom, gave up on his hair and changed and so he was ready to leave the house. Just as he gathered up his keys, chucked on his coat and grabbed his hat there was a knock at the door.

"Chief," he announced with surprise when he opened the door to discover Boden stood outside in his uniform, the battalion car parked on the street behind him.

"Casey, need a ride?" Boden asked with a smile, "Dawson said you had an appointment today."

He frowned, his mouth still slightly open in shock of the surprise visit, "I was gonna drive," he stated, still frowning.

"Well I thought I'd swing by and offer you a lift," Boden stated.

"Oh, ok," he replied lamely, he could hardly say no now that his chief had already spent the time to drive over, "Erm sure, thanks."

In the car on the way to the hospital he listened intently to the radio each time it sparked up announcing incidents, Boden must have noticed as he stated, "You'll be back in action soon enough."

They sat together in the outpatient waiting room before he was called into his doctor's office where he took a seat facing the desk.

"It's nice to see you, Matt. You look better, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked, there was no small talk; he just got right down to business. Matt frowned when he had stated he looked better, he still thought he looked awful but thankfully he didn't look as tired as he felt.

"I'm good," he nodded positively, "Much better," he added, smiling broadly.

"I'm glad to hear it," Doctor Carter stated before asking, "Any headaches, more nosebleeds or anything?"

"Erm no…a few headaches, that's all," he replied honestly, "Nothing like before."

"How's your sleeping been?" the doctor asked.

"Better, not really sleeping during the day now," he smiled.

"No disturbed sleep?" Doctor Carter asked.

"No," he replied quickly, forcing yet another smile.

"Appetite? You weren't eating like usual when I last saw you," the doctor mentioned.

"Better," he nodded positively.

"Good. Have you or anyone around you noticed any changes in mood? Blurred vision? Dizziness? Nausea?" the doctor questioned.

He shook his head, "No… well, a little light-headedness every now and then," he admitted.

"That's still perfectly normal at this stage," Doctor Carter replied, "I want to book you in for a follow up MRI in two weeks to get a recent image of the skull fracture but I see no reason why I won't be able to sign you off for work in a few weeks. You've been very lucky, Matt, I've had people with the same injuries who'll never go back to work again or even walk again," he stated before asking, "Do you have any questions or want to talk about anything we've not covered?"

"No, you've covered everything," he smiled; happy he was still on schedule for his return to work in January.

"Good, now I'm going to write you a refill script but have them as you see fit, you can just get some over the counter painkillers when they run out and they'll do you just fine but if you have any problems at all do call me, if you find you still need something more powerful we'll see what the options are," the doctor smiled as he finished. He stood up from his chair and Matt followed suit, "That's all today, Matt, I'll see you in two weeks," he said as he passed him another prescription and an appointment card.

"Thank you," he smiled but as he was about to leave, "Oh, am I ok to get back to the gym, go running…"

"Yes, the exercise will be good for you but if you feel dizzy or nauseous then stop and rest, just listen to your body, you still need to take it easy; I'm not expecting you to go and run a marathon in a week!" the doctor smiled.

"Right, of course, thanks," he smiled and left the room.

As if to defy himself the next morning he woke up to discover blood on his pillow, "Crap," he muttered as he placed a hand to his nose but brought it back to find no fresh blood. After Boden had dropped him back off at home yesterday he spent the day on the sofa, bored, before catching up with Dawson and Severide over the phone whilst they were on shift. He'd gotten another early night after dinner and it was now the morning after and he found himself trying to quickly strip his bed of the covers so he could put them in the washing machine before Dawson arrived for breakfast.

"Hey baby!" he heard Dawson call cheerfully as she entered the house.

He was busy stuffing his bedding into the machine when she entered the kitchen, he turned round and stood up, "Hey," he greeted her with a smile as he wrapped his arms around her.

She pulled away and he frowned, "You're bleeding," she stated, she brushed a hand by his ear, "It's dry. Did you not notice?" she asked, eyeing the bedding in the machine.

"Erm, no, not been in the bathroom yet," he replied.

"Do you feel ok? Diz…" Dawson began questioning.

"I feel fine. This is totally normal," he smiled broadly.

"Totally normal? Right," she said incredulously.

"Literally just yesterday the doc was saying it's a normal thing; I'm fine," he continued smiling.

Dawson smiled and didn't return to the subject, they had breakfast, Matt decided not take the painkillers as he didn't have a headache and thought it would better to only use the prescription pills when he had one now that the doctor had said he no longer needed them all the time.

"Do you have plans for today?" he asked as he sat down next to her on the sofa after he showered.

"Molly's at six, you should come, see the guys," she replied.

He scoffed, "I doubt they even miss me."

"Of course they do," she grinned and shook her head at him, "Anything you want to do today?" she asked.

"I'm gonna head to the gym. Better get back at it before I'm completely unfit," he scowled.

"You sure you're up for it?" Dawson questioned.

"Yeah… doubt I could do any truck drills right now…" he glumly thought aloud.

"You don't need to though, and if you need more time Boden would happily give it to you," she said and before he could protest she continued, "But maybe it will be good, if you take it easy," she emphasised, "Exercise releases endorphins so it should cheer you up at least."

He frowned, "I don't need cheering up," as soon as he said it he realised the tone of his voice didn't help his case, the words were laced with anger and annoyance. Nothing more was said on the matter and he wanted to get out the house, she was right, exercising would make him feel better. He waited until he'd digested his breakfast before gathering his gym bag and a bottle of water, "You're welcome to stay here, Gabby," he said as he put on his coat and hat.

"Are you sure you don't want me to give you a lift? I don't mind," she asked.

"Nah, no need," he smiled holding up the keys to his truck.

"Ok, if you're sure," she replied, "I might go and do my food shopping, my place is looking very sparse right now," she stated, "You need anything?"

He shook his head, "Nope," as he was about to leave he asked, "Will you come back before you go to work?" but he quickly realised she probably wouldn't want to, "Probably boring for you though if we're not actually doing anything."

"It's not boring, Matt, I like just _being_ with you," she replied. They kissed goodbye to each other before he left the house and got in his truck.

It was nice to be back driving, it felt very normal and right now normal was brilliant, it was just what he needed. The words the doctor had said to him yesterday had echoed round his head since he'd left the office, he really was lucky and it could have been so much worse and here he was driving to the gym, almost as if nothing had happened.

He collapsed on the sofa as soon as he got back home. He groaned, inwardly admitting that he had really overdone it; his muscles were sore and even his bones seemed to ache. He was thankful Dawson was still out and didn't see him in this state. Having decided not to shower at the gym and go straight home lying down as soon as he had got it was not the wisest idea as now he was going to have to persuade his weary body up from the sofa to the bathroom so he could shower. As much as he knew he needed to get up his body had other ideas and soon his eyes drifted close and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

 **TBC**


	26. Twenty Six

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this update!

 **Twenty Six**

 _Friday 6th_ _December 2013  
Afternoon_

"Matt?" a voice called through the house waking him up, after a moment his sleepy mind realised it was Dawson. It was freezing cold, he opened his eyes groggily and realised he was lying on the sofa in his gym clothes, no wonder he was cold, he'd not showered and his hair had been wet with sweat when he'd gotten home, "Sorry I'm a little late, ended up meeting Antonio for a drink," he could hear Dawson taking off her coat and locking the front door behind herself, "How was the gym?" she called, he sat up and ran a hand through his hair, he groaned imagining he looked a terrible state having only just woken up, "You ok?" she asked as she walked into the lounge.

"Er yeah," he replied blearily, "I need a shower," he stated as he stood up and walked past her, thankful that he didn't falter along the way despite feeling weak all over. He entered the bathroom unaware Dawson remained in the lounge with a concerned frown.

He felt no better after showering and changing into some warmer clothes. His head was throbbing and his body ached. He grabbed some painkillers and a glass of juice before he sat down at the dining room table. "Headache?" Dawson appeared in front of him. He didn't reply; it was fairly obvious the answer was yes and he really wasn't in the mood for an interrogation, "Did you overdo it at the gym?" Dawson questioned.

"I don't have a headache because I went to the gym; I just have one," he shrugged.

"Your ear was bleeding last night, maybe you should get checked out before you're next appointment?" she suggested.

"The doc said it's normal, it'll stop eventually," he explained with a forced smile.

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself," she said dubiously.

"I'm trying to convince you!" he sighed immediately regretting he'd raised his voice.

"I'm worried about you!" she replied, her voice was now also raised.

"Well, don't be! I don't _need_ you to be worried about me!" he was yelling now.

"Matt," she began calmly, "I love you and I don't want to you be hurting so when you have a headache, or a nightmare, when you zone out, when you seem to forgot what I've just said; I worry because I care," she explained, "This isn't you, this anger, it's not you and… and it scares me, Matt."

"I'm sorry," he said laden with guilt, "I'm sorry I yelled," he stood up, walked around the table and took her in his arms, "It just feels like I'm constantly being checked on, like you and Severide are waiting for me to do something I shouldn't," he was speaking the truth and as the words came out he realised he sounded paranoid but Dawson didn't pick it up so he continued, "When I say I'm fine, I'm being honest with you. And I'm being honest with the doctor as well. I promise," he said gently, "…I'm… I'm more tired than I let on and it… makes things a little confusing sometimes, that's all; it's just tiredness. I promise. If anything was wrong I would tell you," he admitted. He was telling the truth; he was tired, but now more than two weeks since the accident he knew the problems with his memory had little to do with his tiredness and he was not ready to admit that, "I am sorry for making you worry," he said genuinely.

"You don't need to apologise, just talk to me and let me know how you feel because I might be able to help," she smiled, satisfied with his response.

"You wanted to go Christmas shopping? Tomorrow?" he questioned quickly changing the subject.

"If you're still up for it?" she asked.

"Of course I am," he replied, he desperately wanted to prove to her and everyone else that he was fine, he had never particularly enjoyed shopping but if going would give him the chance of taking part in a normal activity it would stop Dawson from worrying about him so much, "Only…Do you think you have time to sort my hair? I've got trimmers… If you could even it out or something? I don't trust myself doing it and I don't really want someone to do it and see…" he asked self-consciously.

Dawson smiled and small frown played across her face, "Sure, ok. You can barely see it now and it'll fade overtime, don't worry about it too much, no one will notice," she stated and unconsciously he felt the incision site, "Go and get trimmers out and I'll do it now," she smiled.

The next day Casey found himself traipsing behind Dawson, he barely had anything to buy for Christmas, he and Severide didn't exchange gifts so he would just get him a nice bottle of scotch, he'd also get Boden a nice bottle, he wasn't sure what he wanted to give Dawson, he'd get a sister a card and his niece a gift voucher so she could use it to buy something she wanted. Dawson on the other hand was working her way down a list that he was holding for her, they had parked in the multi storey about an hour ago and had already purchased three things from her extensive list and Matt was already tired, he hadn't slept well the night before and his body was still sore from the gym.

"Coffee break?" Dawson suggested and he was thankful, he knew a quick sit down would give him some energy for the rest of the day.

"Oh I have missed caffeine," he stated with a genuine smiled as they walked into the coffee shop.

"Bet an expresso would send you loopy right now," she joked. He imagined she was right; he'd gone from nearly living off the stuff to having none for over two weeks.

He found a small table for them both whilst she ordered, it was nice to be sat down, "Thanks," he said as she passed him a mug of steaming hot coffee.

"You doing ok?" she asked, before they had left the house this morning she reminded him to let her know if he wanted to go at any put that they could and she could come back another day.

He nodded, "Little tired, I can manage," he said honestly.

"At least it's not too busy yet," she stated, they had started early to try and avoid some of the busy Christmas shopping crowds, Casey realised it wouldn't last and was not looking forward to battling crowds of happy shoppers. He already felt anxious in the back of his mind, he didn't want to slip up and zone out in such a busy place, and especially not with Dawson who he had specifically told yesterday the only reason it had happened in the past was because of tiredness. He gratefully drank his coffee once it had cooled down to a perfect temperature and hoped it would give him back some of his alertness and energy he had lost.

The shopping centre l had gotten busier whilst they had been sat in the coffee shop, everyone was bustling around doing their Christmas shopping, it was loud and bright, it gave him a headache and he struggled to distinguish Dawson talking to him from the rest of the noise, "What?" he questioned, he had no idea what she was saying.

"Should we get all the alcohol and take it back to the car now? So we don't have to carry it around?" she asked him and he looked around to discover they were stood outside the off-licence.

"Sure," he replied. It was much quieter and calmer inside the store, Casey picked out a couple of bottles for Boden and Severide whilst Dawson went round choosing her gifts. They queued up together and Matt put his hand in his jeans pocket to pull out his wallet. As he grabbed hold of it a sudden panic hit him. He frowned. He tried over and over again to recall the information he needed. Nothing. His mind was blank.

"Matt?" she looked at him expectantly.

He slipped his hand back out of his pocket, leaving his wallet in there, "I… I must have left my wallet at home…" he said lamely but it was a lot better than the real reason; he couldn't remember his pin number, not even one digit.

"Oh," she smiled, "Don't worry, I'll get these."

After Dawson paid they walked to the car with their bags, "I'm sorry about my wallet," he said feeling guilty she'd had to pay for the alcohol.

"Don't worry about; once I went food shopping, left my purse at home and had to get Shay to bring it for me! Happens to everyone!" she dismissed him.

"Yeah, I guess," he smiled, knowing full well that what had happened to him didn't happen to everyone; how could he forget his pin number? He felt so annoyed with himself. He wondered if it was going to be a hassle to call his bank and get it changed, what if he'd forgotten any more vital information?

"… If you're tired we can go home," Dawson was saying, he frowned realising that he had definitely missed something once again.

"Sure," he replied, he felt quite lightheaded and everything seemed to be happening quite slowly as they loaded the shopping bags in the back of Dawson's car, "Did you get everything you needed?" he wondered.

"Yeah, I've got enough for now," she smiled.

"Good," he said softly, the light-headedness wasn't going away.

"Get in the car, Matt, you look like you need to sit down," Dawson stated as she unlocked the car doors and closed the boot. He didn't feel much now he was sat down on the passenger seat, the world still swayed around him, "Better?" he heard Dawson question; she sounded further away than she looked.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Do you feel sick?" Dawson asked.

"Mmm… yeah," he replied tiredly.

"Close your eyes," she advised, "Take some deep breaths…" he didn't hear anything else she said to him, he'd drifted off into a blissful world of sleep.

The next thing he heard was his name being called, "Mmm…" he mumbled in acknowledgement.

"You're back home, baby," he heard Dawson explain and slowly he cracked open his eyes to find that they were sat in the car parked outside his house.

"Hey," he greeted her groggily.

"Hey to you too," she smiled, "Do you feel better?"

"I guess," he muttered.

They entered the house together, Dawson carrying his bag of shopping, and he sat down at the small kitchen table.

"Why don't you get to bed?" Dawson suggested.

"Cause it's…" he began but he had no idea what the actual time was, "… Day time."

"Well you look like you're gonna sleep in that chair, go to bed, I'll make something for dinner later and wake you up when it's ready," she said. He was too tired to come up with an excuse or to protest so he got up and dragged himself to his room where he promptly collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep without changing or getting under the covers.

When he awoke he could hear the mutterings of a conversation taking place somewhere in the house. Eventually he realised who the voices belonged to; Severide and Dawson. He felt a little annoyed that he didn't know Severide was going to be in his house, if he had he would made the effort to stay awake so he wasn't discovered sleeping during the day. He also felt annoyed because he just knew they would be talking about him; why else would the two of them be here?

He got out of bed only to discover that his knees felt like jelly and he promptly felt to floor, holding back at wince. He still felt lightheaded as he changed his top so at least it looked like he hadn't slept in the clothes he'd been out shopping in. As he walked into the lounge Severide greeted him with a smirk, "I'm not surprised you felt ill after being dragged round Christmas!"

"It was… tiring," he admitted.

"I hate shopping," Severide grumbled provoking a smile from Matt.

"Hey," Dawson greeted him with a smile, "Dinner's nearly ready," she stated before she disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Well, I better go," Severide said as he stood up from the sofa.

"What are you doing here?" he frowned.

"Nothing," Severide replied sheepishly. Something was up.

"What are you two plotting?" he asked with a smile, glad it seemed that there was a more meaningful purpose to his visit rather than the two of them gossiping about him.

"You'll find out eventually!" Severide admitted before he left.

 **TBC**


	27. Twenty Seven

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thanks for the reviews! Much appreciated! Hope you all enjoy this little update!

 **Twenty Seven**

 _Sunday 8_ _th_ _December 2013  
Evening_

Casey spent most of the day sleeping, Dawson and Severide were on shift and he was thankful neither of them witnessed how much the shopping had worn him out. He was now sprawled on the sofa watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel, his concentration didn't seem to flag so much anymore, he had been disappointed in himself for feeling so exhausted today that he hadn't made it to the gym like he had planned, he really needed to start getting back into it ready for his return to work but right now sitting on the sofa felt like the best idea he'd had for a while.

Having spent most of the day asleep he struggled to sleep that night. He found himself tossing and turning and when he woke up feeling disoriented and trapped within the confines of the bed covers he panicked and fell from the bed. He omitted a loud groan as he hit floor knees first, "Damn it," he muttered as sat up and leant against the side of his bed, he couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming about and told himself he really needed to stop sleeping in the middle of the day so that he could sleep more soundly at night. He and Severide had organised to go for a short run in the morning and after sleeping fitfully for the remainder of the night Casey once again felt exhausted, he had changed into shorts for the run but quickly changed his mind when he saw the bruises forming on his knees; he didn't want any questions raised so he was now sat waiting for his friend in his joggers.

"Morning," Severide greeted him when he opened the door, "We'll go from here?" he asked.

"Yeah sure," Casey agreed.

"Steady and short yeah?" Severide said, "Dawson's had strict words with me."

"She has?" Casey frowned, really wishing everyone would stop talking about him behind his back although he realised everyone had their best intentions in mind.

"I'm not allowed to bring you back exhausted," he stated. They jogged steadily for about half an before Severide suggested they walked, "You good?"

"Yeah," he breathed heavily, "Good to get out and do something."

"That's not shopping?" Severide smirked.

"That's _not_ shopping," he repeated smiling.

"Come to Molly's tonight," Severide suggested.

"Maybe, I'm still not meant to have any alcohol," Casey stated.

"The guys will be happy to see you up and about," Severide insisted.

"Up and about? You make it sound like I've been laid up in bed for weeks and weeks," Casey scoffed.

"Well, you have spent an awful lot of time asleep on that sofa of yours," Severide joked.

"Ha ha," he mocked, "Race you back?" he called as he started off back home.

"Hey!" he heard Severide call from behind him. When Severide quickly caught up with him they matched each other's pace and steadily got back to his house together.

"Have a shower, Sev, I'll make some breakfast," he stated as they walked in to the lounge.

Casey did some scrambled egg on toast for the both of them and after they ate he showered. "So Molly's tonight, I'll pick up you up at seven," Severide stated as he was leaving.

"Sure," he conceded, he didn't really fancy going to the busy bar tonight but he had no excuse not to.

He spent the rest of the day doing very little, he walked to the shop to pick on some fresh milk, fortunately he did still have some cash but he was going to have to call his bank tomorrow and get his PIN changed.

In Severides car on the way to Molly's he asked, "So who's here tonight?"

"I dunno, a few people from the house," Severide brushed him off.

"You dunno? Earlier you said everyone wanted to see me," he said with a frown and then realised with sigh, "Sev… a surprise party? You're kidding right?"

"Ok, now you've at least gotta act surprised when you get inside," Severide replied.

"I hate surprises," he grumbled.

"It's a good surprise," Severide smirked, "And it's not even a surprise any more… spoil sport." They walked into Molly's; it was dark and silent before it suddenly burst into life, the sudden light caused him to squint and his heart leapt when someone came up behind him and roar of noise startled him even though he had been braced for it.

"Erm thanks guys," he announced to everyone with a smile, the place was packed, he could see many from 51 and hidden amongst them were some faces he didn't recognise, "You didn't to do this," he stated.

Herrmann walked up to and spoke bluntly, "You nearly croaked; you deserve a party."

He frowned, "Thanks Herrmann…" he said before the man went back behind the bar.

Severide was still stood by the door, "Surveying the room for any ex's?" he grinned.

"Yup," Severide admitted.

"You're terrible," he smiled, Severide scoffed and walked off into the crowd leaving him exposed to the many people who wanted to say they were glad he was ok or asking how he was and informing him that he should ask if them he ever needed anything. Eventually he got to seat at a quiet table with Cruz, Boden.

"It'll be good to have you back, Lieutenant," Cruz stated.

"You're missing me?" he smiled, "Or is my relief making you all do thousands of drills?"

"Nah he's all right," Cruz informed him.

"Good," he nodded as Dawson caught his eye from the bar, he smiled at her and she came over to the table, "This all you?"

"Maybe," she smiled warmly, "You know I like a good party."

"It's nice, thank you," he admitted, if he'd been asked if he wanted a party he would have adamantly said no but being sat here with his friends and colleagues was nice; if it weren't for the dull throbbing in his head he would have felt completely normal now that everyone had stopped coming up to him and asking how he was doing.

"Can I get another non-alcoholic beer?" she asked indicated to the empty bottle sat in front of him.

"You can get an alcoholic beer," he smiled.

"Nice try," she responded before heading back to the bar.

It didn't take long for him to tire of all the hustle and bustle in the bar. The noise didn't help his headache and the constant movement around the place made him feel dizzy; he was glad he was sat down. "Hey," Severide sat down in front of him, Cruz and Boden were stood around now and chatting and drinking with others, "You all right?"

He lifted up his empty bottle, "Actual alcohol would be nice," he grinned.

"If it's any consolation I've only had one beer," Severide smiled.

"Right… designated taxi driver," he stated, "I can drive you back if you want more?"

"Nah, only came over cause you looked a little bored," Severide said.

He sighed, he felt too tired to be stood up and chatting mindlessly to all the others in the crowded bar, he also didn't want the topic of his injury to keep coming up, "Yeah, guess I am a little."

"You wanna get out of here?" Severide asked.

"Yeah," he admitted quietly, "You don't mind?" he realised it wasn't the usual end of a night out for his friend.

"Your party," Severide smiled, "I'm happy to leave whenever you want."

The next day Matt woke up late but had thankfully slept through the night after Severide had dropped him back him. Tonight he'd invited Dawson over for dinner; she wasn't working and after her next shift she was going away with some of her old friends from school. After he spent what felt like most of the afternoon on the phone to his bank to change his PIN he began preparing dinner. Whilst the food was cooking he set the table candles and flowers that he'd asked Severide to pick up for him. Rather than telling him about not being able use his card he'd said that the party had tired him out yesterday and he didn't think he should drive.

"Matt," Dawson called as entered house. He heard her in the kitchen and told her to come through to the lounge, "Oh, baby, this is lovely!"

He emerged from the kitchen, "Don't say that yet; you've not tried the food," he smirked, "Sit down, wine?"

"Nah I'll just have whatever you're having," she smiled.

"I've not had any painkillers today so I would very much a glass of wine," he said.

"You sure that's all right?" she questioned with concern written across her face in the dimly lit room.

"Can't hurt," he smiled and poured them both a glass of wine, "I'll get the food."

"You want me to help?" she asked.

"Nope," he said and went back to kitchen to dish up their dinner.

"This is really good, Matt," Dawson stated half way through devouring the food on her plate.

"You don't need to sound so surprised," he grinned, "I can cook… when I want to!"

She smiled before asking, "You sure you don't mind me going away this weekend?"

"Of course I don't mind," he said, wondering why he should be bothered that she wanted to go away.

"You going to be ok?" she asked.

"Without you checking up me?" he smiled, "I'll be fine."

They spent the night together but when he woke up the next morning Dawson had gone to work, he was a little disappointed he hadn't woken up to say goodbye to her but he got up decided to go for a run before he had any breakfast. He turned back after thirty minutes, it had been a mistake to go without fuelling his body first, usually he was fine when he ran before breakfast but not today. Today he had to break into a walk as he began to feel lightheaded after a few moments he picked up the pace again but suddenly he found himself flying down onto the hard pavement below, "Argh!" he groan in pain as his knees took the brunt of the force, he must have tripped or stumbled on something and when he looked around from his position on the floor he was glad that there had been no one around to witness his tumble. He got up and his right knee twinged, both knees were bleeding and the palms of his hands had been scraped on the rough surface. He stepped forward but felt pain shoot up his right leg; he must have pulled something. It took him a while to get home on his sore leg and he promptly got in the shower and the sat down in just a towel around his waist as he used a bag of frozen peas to reduce the swelling to his knees, he alternated the bag between his two sore knees until his hand couldn't bare handle the coldness any longer.

After breakfast he limped over to the sofa and spent most of the day flicking between Sky Sports and the History Channel. When he got up to make himself some dinner his knees were sore and stiff so he took a couple of Ibuprofen to help with the swelling and when he finally got into bed that night he felt relieved; he was exhausted and sore and disappointed that he'd manage to injure himself because it felt like another setback.

 **TBC**


	28. Twenty Eight

**Six Weeks**

A/N - Thank you for the reviews! I hope you like this update!

 **Twenty Eight  
**  
 _Thursday 12_ _th_ _December 2013  
Mid-morning  
_  
"Why are you limping?" Dawson asked with concern as he got up from the sofa and began to make his way to the kitchen

"Just pulled something; I'm fine," he replied before he entered the kitchen to grab a drink.

"Do you want me to stay?" she asked him as he sat back down on the sofa.

"You're leaving half an hour, Gabby, you're packed; you're going!" he smiled, "I'm perfectly capable of surviving four days without you!"

"Three and a half days," she corrected him.

"Are you to miss me?" he grinned, "That's why you don't want go really, isn't it? You'll miss my handsome face," he joked.

"When you smile like that how could I not?" she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

"You sure you don't want me to drop you off at the airport?" he asked as she sat back.

"Cab's already booked," she explained.

Later the next day Casey was sat waiting for Severide; he'd called earlier in the day suggesting they went out for a drink, he'd suggested Molly's but Casey said he'd rather go someplace where they wouldn't know everyone. He didn't want the questions from his friends and colleagues he just wanted to go out like they used to.

"Hey," he greeted him as he opened the door.

"Guys night out!" Severide grinned.

Casey smiled, "Been a while," he was looking forward to it, everything had felt like it had returned to normal in the last twenty four hours, except for his bruised and swollen knees he felt well.

"Not my fault," Severide smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, next time I'll ask the building not to fall on top of me," he scoffed.

As they walked to the car Severide asked him, "Why are you limping?" but he just shook his head dismissively in response.

It didn't take long to get to the sports bar where they sat near the large flat screen TV, both had a bottle of beer but it was all they would have all night since Severide had insisted on driving and Casey was following doctors' orders by not over indulging. The hockey game started but all of a sudden Casey found himself leaning on a circular white sink staring at his reflection in the mirror, his nose was bleeding, his jaw felt tender and a bruise was starting to form, "You still ok, Casey?" he turned and saw Severide staring at him, he was sporting a black and split lip, "Casey?" Severide questioned him again with concern eminent in his tone.

Severides steady hands were gripping his shoulders now, it was the only thing keeping him upright, and he was talking but he couldn't hear anything he was saying, his ears were ringing, "What?" he managed to mumble.

"I said I think we should go to the ER," Severides voice penetrated the fuzzy feeling that surrounded his head, "Come on, I've got you."

Something was nudging his left shoulder, "Hey! Hey! Stay awake, Case! In case you have done something to that head of yours… Case? You're looking rather pale bud…" he heard Severide state with concern just before his stomach lurched violently and despite his attempts to stop himself he threw up.

"Sorry," he muttered after the heaving subsided, embarrassed as he realised he was sat in the passenger seat of Severides car.

"It's all right, bud, do you feel any better now?" Severide asked.

"Mmm," he shook his head; he still felt awful. He felt Severide grip his arm and squeeze reassuringly.

"Come on," Severide said.

"Mmm?" Casey had no idea what had happened and no idea what was happening; the passenger door was open and Severide was now stood in front of him.

"We're here, we need to go inside, Case," Severide explained.

The lights were bright and blinding, he realised he was now sat over the edge of a hospital bed clutching a cardboard basin in his right hand. A light was shone into his sensitive eyes, he scrunched them shut, "Matt, I need you to try and follow the light please," a voice explained so carefully he opened them and attempted to follow the light that felt like it was burning his retinas. The light was dizzying and he felt his stomach heave once more. He retched violently, he didn't think there was anything to left to throw up but he was proves wrong as more of his stomach contents was thrown up into the basin he was holding. He was trembling and his head ached.

Severide placed a hand on his back comfortingly after he took the cardboard basin and placed it on the side, his vision had been blurry as he'd watched his friends actions, "Ok, bud?"

"Mmm," he managed to mumble.

"Can you tell me what happened, Matt?" the unfamiliar doctor asked.

He looked towards Severide, he couldn't remember what had happened, "I… I don't know," he admitted in defeat.

"That's ok. What's the last thing you remember?" the doctor asked him sympathetically.

"Erm… I don't know," he repeated as he tried to think back, "Getting to the bar, maybe?" he said unsure of himself.

"Look, doc, is his head ok or not?" Severide said urgently.

"I'm going to send you for a precautionary MRI…" the doctor began but Casey didn't hear the rest as he retched violently onto the hard floor.

"Sorry," he mumbled, feeling absolutely useless.

"It's ok, Case," Severide reassured him.

"Lie down, Matt, you'll go up for the MRI soon," the doctor advised.

"Shouldn't he have it now?" Severide questioned.

"It's not an emergency, just a precaution," he assured Severide as Casey slowly brought his legs onto the bed and lay down.

The doctor must have left and Severide sat down on a stool next to the bed, "I'm ok, Kelly," he stated tiredly.

"Yeah, try telling my poor car that," Severide mocked.

"Sorry, I'll pay to get it cleaned," he slurred.

"Nah, my fault really," Severide insisted.

"What _did_ happen?" he asked curiously looking at Severides black eye.

"I could tell you anything," Severide smirked.

He raised his eyebrows questioningly but stopped as the pain in his head spiked, "The truth? Please."

"You're an idiot," Severide stated simply.

"No…" he muttered, "You've got to pity me 'cause I'm ill," he held up the fresh cardboard basin that was now in his grip.

Severide laughed, "You really do have a concussion, don't you?"

"Yes," he replied sullenly, "Please?"

"You were defending my honour," Severide announced with a hint of pride.

"Oh," he stated.

"Oh?" Severide questioned.

"You must be the idiot then," he explained.

"I'll have you know I was a beautiful maiden's knight in shining armour," Severide joked.

"And I was your…?" he questioned.

"You were my… very helpful minion…" Severide began.

"Minion?" he repeated sourly.

"Who grabbed the guys very very large friend who was about to rugby tackle me down to the ground," Severide explained.

"Oh," he replied and then added tiredly, "Please don't tell Gabby. Don't tell her I'm here."

He spent his time waiting in the ER with varying amounts of lucidity and soon he was up in the MRI room where a nurse helped him up from the wheelchair and onto the machine, "Lie back for me," she said and he complied, "Have you had an MRI before?"

"Not when I've been awake," he replied quietly.

"You'll be fine, it takes about twenty minutes. It's quite loud but we can see and hear you in there, if you think you're going to be sick just let us know; we can bring straight out, ok?" the nurse explained with an understanding smile.

"Ok," he replied as she placed a strap over his forehead.

"Try and stay as still as possible," she said before he was moved inside the machine.

He took some deep breaths as he got used to the confinement and soon there were loud clicks and noises and the machine began its scan. He closed his eyes and imagined he was far away; he wasn't claustrophobic but the noise and lights were overwhelming to his aching head and nauseous body. "Matt, it's Doctor Carter," the tannoy system announced, "I didn't expect to see you back here so soon. Everything looks good so far; it won't be too much longer," the doctor explained.

Soon he was being moved out of the machine, "Sit up slowly," the nurse instructed, "You've lying down for a while, don't want you to get dizzy." He already felt dizzy but he sat up slowly and carefully moved his legs off the machine. The nurse helped him into the wheelchair and he was taken outside where Severide was waiting rather impatiently.

They sat together in Doctor Carters office where the man announced, "The MRI is good, you do have a concussion though so you need to be watched tonight, I can get you admitted for the night or…"

"I'll keep an eye on him, doc," Severide gave him a quick smile and he was grateful he wasn't going to be stuck in the hospital for third time in such a short period.

"Ok," the doctor accepted, "You can sleep, Matt, but you'll need to be woken up every two hours," and he spoke to Severide, "Just ask him a few simple questions and if there's any change in his condition call an ambulance but he should fine."

"Thanks, doc," Severide replied but Casey barely heard him, he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, "Let's get home, Case." He scarcely acknowledged that Severide was pushing the wheelchair to the hospital exit until he felt a breath of fresh air as the automatic doors opened, "You ready?"

"Yeah," he muttered as he stood up shakily from the chair and slowly Severide helped him to the car.

 **TBC**


	29. Twenty Nine

**Six Weeks**

A/N – Thanks for your lovely reviews! Hope you enjoy this update!

 **Twenty Nine**

 _Saturday 14th_ _December 2013  
Early Morning_

"You ok?" Severide asked with concern.

"Mmm," was all Casey managed; he kept his eyes and was attempting to focus on his breathing as he tried not to throw up in Severides car again.

"We're nearly at yours," Severide stated, he sighed, "I'm sorry, last night was not one of my best ideas."

"Mmno," he slurred, "Was good."

"You don't even remember it," Severide scoffed.

"You don't remember most of your nights out," he replied tiredly.

"You didn't even finish one drink… you could have been really hurt," Severide argued.

"Just a concussion," he slurred.

" _Just a concussion..._ says the guy who had his brain exposed on an operating table a month ago," Severide disputed.

"Mmmm," was all Casey managed again, his stomach was doing flip flops in his belly and his head was pounding furiously.

"Case?" Severide questioned.

"Mm fine," he slurred.

"We're home," Severide stated.

"Oh," Casey hadn't even realised the car had stopped and the engine was off.

Inside the house Casey slowly made his way to his bedroom and promptly collapsed onto the bed, "You want a drink?" Severide asked him, he must have followed him into his room.

"I just wanna sleep," he slurred, his mouth half obstructed by one of his pillows.

"Casey?" he heard Severide urging him to wake fully.

"Lemme sleep," Casey muttered before turning over onto his front.

"Case, come on, just wake up for a minute then you can sleep I promise," Severide explained.

"What?" he groaned.

"Full name?" Severide asked.

"Sev… go away," he slurred.

"I will. Full name?" Severide repeated.

"Mathew Casey," he muttered.

"Birthday?" Severide asked.

"February 12th," he replied.

"What day is it?" Severide questioned.

"Friday… maybe," Casey replied, frowning a little in wonder.

"I'll accept that; it's early Saturday," he replied, "You know my name?"

"Course I do," Casey replied.

"Yeah? Let's hear it then," Severide said.

"Kelly 'won't let me sleep' Severide," he slurred.

"Last one; where are we?" Severide asked.

"Bed?" he wondered aloud.

"Where's the bed?" Severide urged

"I dunno…" he slurred, he could feel himself drifting back to sleep.

"Casey?" he heard Severide question as he felt something nudging him into consciousness.

"Mmm not again," Casey slurred when he blearily opened his eyes.

"'Fraid so," Severide replied, "What's your…"

"Matt, Feb 12th, Saturday morning, in bed, in my room, we done?" he listed before rolling away from his friend.

"I think that's cheating," Severide replied.

"Nope," Casey replied and he buried himself under the duvet and fell back to sleep where he didn't feel sick and his head didn't throb.

The next time Casey woke up he felt much better, he head still ached and he felt incredibly groggy but it was nothing compared to before. Slowly he got up and made his way out of his bedroom to get a drink and some painkillers. He found Severide sat on the sofa looking a little worse for wear, "Hey, you look awful," he stated.

"Good morning to you too," Severide grinned, he frowned, "And I still look better than you."

"Well, next time don't keep waking me up," he scoffed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll just let you slip into a coma or something," Severide mocked, "I'll make breakfast, bet you've still got one hell of a headache." Casey nodded and went for the painkillers; he swallowed them down with a glass of juice provided by Severide. "You remember what happened yet?" Severide asked as he began making breakfast.

"No," he admitted as he sat down at the small kitchen table, "Just you waking me up and I think threw up in your car?"

"Yeah," Severide confirmed.

"Sorry," Casey replied.

"Nah, you already apologised and I already said it was partially my fault," Severide explained.

"Oh," he frowned, "What _did_ happen?"

Severide turned around, his expression full of concern and Casey realised he should probably already know what had happened, "Erm… bar fight… do you not remember me telling you? At the hospital?"

"Oh yeah, sorry," he smiled broadly, "I'm exhausted," he explained

"Yeah, can imagine you are," Severide replied and turned back to the hob. Casey felt relieved Severide made no more mention about the events that had taken place last night. After breakfast Casey had insisted that Severide could leave him but had objected and now found himself sat next to him on the sofa watching the Discovery Channel. "When's Dawson back?" Severide asked.

He thought for a moment before replying, "Monday," he frowned, "Shouldn't you be a work right now?"

"Nah, I called Boden and said you couldn't be on your own for twenty four hours," Severide explained.

"Oh, right," he replied realising now why Severide had insisted on staying, "Do you think I should ask her to move in with me?" he asked impulsively.

"What?" a look of confusion crossed Severides face.

"Dawson," he explained.

"Oh erm," the look of confusion hadn't left Severides face, "Isn't it a bit soon? And you guys aren't official? Only me and Shay know…"

"Ah yeah," he smiled suddenly realising he was being rather rash, "I just thought it'd be logical."

"You want her to move in with you because it's logical?" Severide questioned.

"Well, yeah. She is here most the time and this place is closer to the house," he explained.

"Well, maybe just wait and see what happens," Severide replied dubiously, "You're probably just missing her right now."

"Yeah, you're right I am," he said though he'd not actually had chance to miss her yet, he frowned thinking to himself, he wasn't normally so impulsive when it came to decisions like that, yes he could be reckless sometimes when it came to helping someone but he wasn't usually rash with his personal life; it had taken him so long to work up the courage for him to make the decision for him and Hallie to buy a house together and they'd been dating for four years at that point.

Several hours later they were sat eating dinner on the sofa, "Good?" Severide asked him as he tucked into the carbonara.

"Yeah," he replied honestly, he'd not eaten much at breakfast and hadn't wanted any lunch as he still felt slightly nauseas from the previous night, "You didn't have to cook though."

"You can clear up," Severide smiled.

"Can you pass me the…" Casey stared at the small clear container on the coffee table in front of Severide next to the remote control.

"Pass you the?" Severide questioned.

"Oh it's all right," Casey dismissed him. They finished dinner in silence and after placing his empty bowl in the coffee table he continued to stare at the item he'd been unable to ask for. He stared at it hoping the word would come to him and when he still couldn't retrieve it he grew more and more concerned.

"You ok?" Severide asked.

"Huh? Yeah, fine," he sighed, "I'll clear up," he stated and stood up slowly before gathering their empty bowls. After tidying away he took some more painkillers and said to Severide, "I'm going to shower and get an early night; you should go home."

"Twenty four hours," Severide reminded him.

"Oh," he replied disappointedly, he'd been hoping for some time alone, "You're not going to have to stay up and keep waking me up are you?"

"No, not now," Severide said.

"Not much point in staying then?" Casey queried.

"I'm staying," Severide stated, Casey didn't protest any further before he showered and went to bed. He fell asleep almost immediately when his head hit the pillow.

The next morning he woke up groggily. He slowly made his way to the kitchen to fetch a drink, he felt the cold of the house almost immediately as he had not dressed and only wore his boxers. He regretted the decision not to dress even more when he discovered Severide fast asleep on his sofa. Quietly he poured himself some fresh juice. He heard movement behind him; "You're looking better," Severide spoke.

Casey scoffed and turned around from the kitchen counter, "You usually study my body then?" he joked.

"Well the fact that I can longer see your ribs comforts me," Severide smiled.

He raised his eyebrows, pointed in the direction of his room and said, "I'm going to go and get dressed, just cause you're happy walking round half naked anywhere and everywhere doesn't mean everyone is," he laughed thinking back to the many times Severide would happily stroll around the locker room in just a towel, he was much more conservative and dressed as soon as he was dry.

It was late in the afternoon when Severide gathered his things and before he left Casey asked, "Do you want to go for a run tomorrow? I'll meet you at the lake? Just a short one though because…"

"Because you've done something to your knees?" Severide questioned and Casey frowned, it was not what he was going to say, he'd already come up with an excuse for a short run; he wanted to go and get some Christmas presents, it was a lie but a good excuse. Severide must have noted his disappointed expression at finding out the truth, "You never said why you were limping around; did you trip when you were running?"

He sighed, Severide always seemed to figure him out, "Yeah," he agreed, tripping sounded better than just falling with no reason.

"Short one it is then," Severide smiled, "I'll see you there at ten?" he nodded in response and Severide left.  
 **  
TBC**


	30. Thirty

**Six Weeks**

A/N – Apologies for the mini hiatus! I really wasn't in the mood to write this story, preferred writing AUs because of the direction season 4 went, it was incredibly disappointing and I found it unbearable to watch at times, Jesse Spencer saved it for me though and will be the only reason I watch season 5 of the show, such a shame how the show has turned out. I want to thank you for the messages I received and the reviews you've left for me, they mean a lot and I hope you like this new chapter.

 **Thirty**

 _Monday 16_ _th_ _December  
Mid-morning_

"Hey," Severide called over as he jumped out his truck, he'd just arrived at the lakeside for their run, "How you feeling today?"

He tried to hold back a sigh, was he constantly going to be asked how he was doing? "I'm fine."

"Dawson's back today, right?" Severide asked him as he bent down to refasten a shoelace.

"Her flight gets in this afternoon," he replied, "I offered to pick her up from the airport," he sighed.

"She said no then?" Severide questioned.

"I am allowed to drive now; I thought it would be nice for her," he replied.

"You two spoken whilst she was away?" Severide asked as they both broke into a jog.

"No not really," he admitted, in fact they'd not spoken at all.

"Miss her?" Severide questioned.

"Yeah I guess," but the truth was he'd barely noticed she was gone, he'd been busy with Severide and when he wasn't he'd slept most the time. He hoped she wasn't going to question him about their night out when she returned home, she wouldn't be happy if she found out he'd ended up in hospital again and hadn't told her straight away, but he really didn't want her to worry because it had turned out to be nothing.

"You guess?" Severide frowned.

He ignored the question, "Do you think she'll want to go out for dinner tonight?" Severide shrugged, "Helpful."

After their run Casey drove home and showered, his knees ached but it was nothing serious, they'd already begun to heal nicely, and then he waited around for Dawson who didn't show up until the evening, maybe he should have called her, but she hadn't called him, she was probably busy and didn't have the time.

"I made dinner," he said as soon as he opened the front door and let her inside.

"You didn't have to," she replied.

"I wanted to," he smiled and pulled her into a hug, "Did you have a good time?"

She moved back from his arms, "It was great, busy and a little at times but it was great, so nice to see them all again."

"I'm glad, have a seat," he motioned to the table where he set out the place mats and cutlery, "Wine?"

"Please," she smiled, "So, how have you been? Kept of trouble?"

"Everything's been very boring here," he replied, it was the truth apart for his little misadventure to the ER.

"Oh I'm sorry," she said sadly.

"I thought things were meant to be boring for me at the moment?" he frowned.

"You and Kelly not even go out?" she asked.

"Erm… yeah we went out, just for a drink, nothing interesting," he replied.

"Well at least you got out the house," she smiled.

"Yeah," he nodded, he poured out two glasses of wine, "I'll get the food," he smiled, "I hope you'll like it."

"I'm impressed," Dawson said after taking her first bite, he was sat opposite her in anticipation, "It's really nice, Matt."

"Just threw it together," he said backhandedly, although he hadn't just thrown it together, he'd found the recipe online and spent most the afternoon he'd been waiting for her to arrive preparing the meal.

"Matt?" Dawson questioned, he was suddenly stood in the kitchen with her holding a tea towel, "Here," he was passed a plate to dry, "Are you ok? You seemed a little out of it for a few seconds?"

"Oh I'm fine, I'm a little tired, that's all," he replied, "Are you staying the night?"

He watched as she became even more concerned, "Yeah… You already asked me? Only five minutes ago…"

"Yeah, sorry, of course," he smiled.

"When's your next check-up?" the concern still lay across her face.

"Not for a while," he replied.

"Not for a while? When?" she questioned, he tried not to become agitated and reminded himself that she was just worried.

"End of the month I think," he knew exactly when it was; he was counting down the days hoping to get cleared for duty.

"You think? Maybe you should check," her brows knitted into a frown.

"It _is_ at the end of the month," he replied.

"Ok," she accepted. He placed the tea towel back on the worktop, "Hey… is that a bruise?" she asked suddenly.

"What?" he questioned immediately, he knew it was a bruise he wasn't questioning that but he thought he was unnoticeable, or at least he'd hoped it was.

"What happened?" concern evident in her tone.

"Nothing, I'm fine," he shrugged dismissively.

"Nothing? Then where has that come from?" she demanded.

"I'm fine, Gabby," he insisted, "Just leave it…" she sighed and said nothing more on the matter, he only hoped Severide was a better liar because he had no doubt that she would ask him about it too.

Later that night he was sat alone in the dark, he'd gone to bed with Dawson and had slept for a few hours but he'd woken up and been unable to fall back to sleep, his head had felt full and his thoughts were running amuck, he hated the constant questioning and the reassurances he felt like he was continuously giving, part of him would much rather be dealing with everything on his own.

"What are you doing?" it was Dawson, "Come back to bed."

"I'm not tired," he replied, he kept his eyes on the TV screen.

"Matt…" she was worried, maybe annoyed, he couldn't tell, he was tired but his head was full and he knew he'd not sleep anytime soon, he didn't want to.

"Really, I'm not, my sleeping pattern is all over the place at the moment and I don't seem to be able to do much about it," he replied, "Go to sleep, you're working tomorrow, I'm not," he tried to mask the resentment in his tone, he was bored, desperate to start doing something even if he just got a construction job but it was the middle of winter and it was unlikely that would happen.

"Don't stay up all night," she sighed.

"I won't," he replied as he switched over channels on the TV, he heard her close the bedroom door and he was alone once again.

He must have fallen asleep on the sofa because the next thing he knew was Dawson calling his name, "I'm going to work, are you ok? It took me ages to wake you up?"

"I'm fine," he smiled forcefully, he was still half asleep and incredibly groggy, she was still in front of, her face full of concern, "I'm fine, go or you'll be late."

When the grogginess finally abated he got up off the sofa, showered and had some breakfast, by that point in the morning his head was pounding. He debated waiting for the headache to subside but he wasn't going to be able to get anything done with the pain in his head so he grabbed some of the medication from the bathroom cabinet and swallowed the two pills with a glass of water. After working on the plans for the library he went for a run and then spent the rest of the day watching reruns on TV. He was becoming miserable. He hated sitting around and doing nothing but until he had clearance to get back to work it seemed his life was going to remain endlessly filled with sleep and TV, it was Christmas soon and he wasn't even looking forward to it, not that he ever particularly looked forward to holidays like that, when he was younger he had but he'd quickly grown out of it, well, he had been forced to grow out of it, the aunt and uncle he'd stayed with after his mum was sentenced to prison were very traditional and Christmas was never as fun with them as it had been with his parents even after they'd divorced. Christmas with Hallie just reminded him of arguments, he always wanted to stay in the city and celebrate the holidays with just the two of them but she preferred to spend time with her family, he did like her family, but questions were always raised and he hated questions, he'd rather no one knew about his past and his family.

The next morning Dawson called him, she was going to straight from the firehouse to Molly's for a delivery and she was working their tonight so she'd decided she'd stay at her own apartment rather than getting to his late. He didn't object, he accepted even though he'd rather have her come over no matter how late it was, he wanted some company, he was bored out of his mind and there was little he could do about it so he went running again, each time he went he managed to go further than before, slowly he was getting fitter and fitter once again and he hoped he'd be ready for action as soon as the doctor gave him the go ahead.

Bored of his house he went Christmas shopping the next day, it was awful, the shopping centre was busy and disorienting, he was hoping getting and out doing something productive, after thirty minutes he just wanted the peace and quiet of his house but he traipsed on, he had to, if he couldn't do this then how was he supposed to handle going back to work?

He panicked momentarily when the cashier asked him to enter his pin number, he had written it down in his phone just to be on the safe side though, but thankfully he didn't need it, he remembered it correctly and sighed in relief. He stepped outside the store and was surprised to find Boden walking along, he'd spotted him, "Casey," he called as he walked up to him.

"It's a small world, what are you doing here?" he questioned.

"I do have a life outside the firehouse," Boden smiled.

"Right," he grinned, "Of course."

"How are you?" Boden asked, of course he wanted to know, everyone wanted to know how he was doing, but he had to remind himself that Boden hadn't spoken to him a for a while so he really shouldn't have been so annoyed by the question like with Dawson and Severide.

"Good," he held up the bag in hand, "Christmas shopping," he explained.

"Same," Boden replied, "Do you have plans for Christmas?"

"No, do you? Are you seeing your son?" he asked.

"I hope," Boden said.

"I hope you get to see him," he said sincerely, they said their goodbyes before he continued shopping but he only last another hour before he gave in to his body's protests.

After speaking to Dawson on the phone he fell asleep early only to be woken up by a nightmare. He'd dreamt of falling beams, babies crying, Severide falling, Hallie surrounded by flames, his mother being taken off the stand and escorted by police officers, falling through floors and Andy being engulfed by flames. He'd awoken abruptly, he was breathing heavily and his t shirt was sticking to his skim.

He wondered if he should mention something about the fact that every time he woke up it took him a few minutes to get his bearings, it took a while for his vision to clear and to remember where he was but he really didn't want to put back his return to work, it wasn't like it would affect anything, he felt fine when he woke, it just took a him a while to gather himself, he could deal with that, he was dealing with that.

Sleep then evaded him and he ended up in front of the TV at 3am. He really hoped his sleeping pattern would improve sooner rather than later, it was all over the place, he hated how it was no longer structured, how some nights he could sleep through and others he could barely sleep at all. Again, it was probably another thing he should bring up at his next check-up, or perhaps he should make an appointment and discuss his worries, but as soon as that idea popped into his head his dismissed it, he just needed to get back to work then things would soon sort themselves out.

 **TBC**


	31. Thirty One

**Six Weeks**

A/N – Thank you for your reviews! Glad you are all happy I'm updating this story! Hope you like this chapter!

 **Thirty One**

 _Thursday 20_ _th_ _December 2013  
Early-morning_

"Matt?" the voice was persistent, "Matt? Come on…"

"What?" came his voice; it was laced with annoyance and frustration, could he not just be left alone to wake when he pleased? "Sorry," he cleared his throat when he opened his eyes to find Dawson wide eyed above him, "What?" he asked without the annoyance and frustration this time.

"You slept on the sofa again?" she questioned, he didn't miss the displeased look across her face and the annoyance in her tone.

He scrunched his eyes up, trying to rid the aftermath of sleep, "I didn't sleep on the sofa… I just happened to fall asleep on here," he assumed since he couldn't remember deciding to sleep where he now found himself sprawled in his jeans and jumper.

"Do you want to go out for breakfast before my shift starts?" she asked.

"Sure, we can go to the place where I usually stop for coffee," he replied even though what he really wanted to do was go back to sleep and shower before he did anything.

"Hi guys, what can I getcha this morning?" a very chipper waitress as the two of them the moment they say down in the diner.

"Coffee please," he replied with far less enthusiasm than the question was given with, "Some toast and some bacon."

"I'll have pancakes…" she trailed off and looked at him, "Are you sure you want coffee?"

"Yes, Gabby, I'm sure," he replied firmly.

He could see she was taken back slightly by the annoyance that had tainted his tone but he was too tired to care much, "I'll have a coffee with mine too then," she spoke to the waitress who soon walked off with their order, "Are you ok?"

"If you could stop asking if I'm ok then I will be ok…" he said harshly, "Sorry," he added quickly.

She shook her head, he knew she wanted to say something but she didn't instead she asked, "Are you still coming to my cousins party?" he frowned, "Tomorrow night," she supplied.

"I… erm… I didn't realise I was coming?" had he already agreed to go? He couldn't remember, he didn't care right now, he was exhausted and he just wanted to go home. At that moment a panicked thought crossed his mind, if he wanted to go home now, what was he going to be like on shift? Twenty four hours was a long time. No. He'd be fine, he just didn't want to be in this diner, he wanted to be back at work.

"It's fine if you don't want to come, I understand," she said although he could tell she was disappointed.

"We've got Herrmann's little pre-Christmas gathering the day after, why don't we just do that?" he questioned, not that had told anyone they were seeing each other yet.

"Yeah, sure, Matt," she replied with a thin smile.

Their food arrived and they ate in silence, Casey glanced across to her every now and then, he wanted to apologise and tell her that he would go to the party with her but he knew how tiring it would be, he wanted to be a hundred percent the next day, he also didn't want endless questions and looks of curiosity or sympathy because he assumed Dawson's family and parents had now heard about his accident, it felt like everyone had been told about it.

"Shall we go then? I need to get to shift," Dawson was speaking urgently; he frowned and looked down at his empty plate.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm…" he trailed off.

"You're tired," she smiled, "I get it."

Casey spent the next day feeling guilty, he couldn't help but picture Dawson's disappointment at the forefront of his mind, she didn't speak to him and he didn't call her, he didn't want to just add to her disappointment.

Severide gave him a lift to Herrmann's, claiming it wasn't out of his way when Casey knew full well their places were in opposite directions. Severide stopped him before he could knock on the front door, "Let me know when you want to go home."

"I can get a cab," he replied.

"You're my excuse to get out of here and go to a real party," Severide smirked.

"A real party?" he frowned.

Severide shrugged, "Going out with Shay, join us if you want?"

"I think I'll give it a miss," he smiled and knocked on the door.

"Lieutenant!" Herrmann greeted loudly.

Casey was a little shocked at such a loud greeting but stepped inside, hearing a grumble from Severide, "I'm invisible."

He smirked and turned back to him, "I've been missed," he teased.

"Here," Cindy was suddenly in front of him holding a wine glass. He wondered where Severide had gone as he was no longer by his side. The room was crowded; many from the firehouse were there as well as Herrmann's family.

"Oh," he glanced over to see Dawson chatting with Otis, she wouldn't I approve, "I probably shouldn't."

Cindy leaned in, "It's just juice," she smiled, "It's what the kids will have at the dinner table on Christmas Day, so they feel grown up."

"Thanks," he smiled, a little surprised at the gesture, did she know he wouldn't want to appear any different from anyone else in the room? Had Severide spoken to her? Herrmann? He wouldn't be surprised if they had. He smiled at the thoughtfulness even though it he assumed it meant they'd been talking about without his knowledge, he shouldn't be surprised though, but he couldn't rid the feelings of paranoia he felt.

Cindy smiled and walked away, offering drinks to everyone else. It all got a bit too much, there were so many different conversations going on at once along with music in the background, it became hard to concentrate and his head felt full. He could feel the beginnings of a headache brewing just behind his brow.

"Case?" it was Severide, "You ok?" he asked softly. Severide had found him in the back room where he'd been sat with just his own thoughts for the last fifteen minutes.

"I…" – I'm worried there's something wrong me, I'm scared… - "…I erm…"

"What's wrong?" Severide asked when he gave him no proper answer.

"I think I'm just going to call a cab, go home," he replied tiredly.

"Case, talk to me," Severide urged him.

He stood up, "I'm fine."

"Whatever it is, it'll stay between us," Severide soothed, "That deal will stand whenever you want to talk…"

"I'm fin… I'm just miserable, that's all, I hate sitting around on my ass all day," he replied, "I want to get this next check-up over and done with so I can get back to work."

"Don't rush back," Severide stated.

"I'm not rushing," he insisted, "There's nothing wrong with me." Severide didn't reply, the silence was uncomfortable, he felt like he was being given the once over, "You think there's something wrong with me?"

"I think," Severide was speaking carefully now, "I think you should take your time, getting back to work might not be all it's cracked up to be."

"You think I'd rather sit at home doing nothing?" he asked incredulously.

"I think you need to give yourself time to get back to normal," Severide replied.

"I am back to normal," he stated.

"You're hiding in Herrmann's house," Severide noted.

"I'm not hiding," he replied.

Severide sighed, "You're exhausted and every so often you look lost, confused, worried…"

"Stop," he warned.

"Because it's the truth?" Severide edged.

"I'm going to call a cab and say goodbye to everyone," he stated.

"No, I said I'd drive, come on, let's get out of here," Severide replied.

Severide pulled up outside his house, they'd spent the journey in silence, "Thanks," he muttered as he unfastened his seatbelt, "And I'm… I'm not sleeping very well… and I think Gabby and I have had an argument."

"You think?" Severide scoffed.

"I didn't go to her cousins Christmas party," he explained.

"You're il… recovering," Casey didn't miss the quick change of word.

"She was disappointed," he said.

"Don't worry about it," Severide replied lightly, although maybe he should be worried about it, Severide wasn't exactly known for his long term relationships, should he really be speaking to him about his worries? At least he'd stop questioning his health now.

"Yeah, I shouldn't," he forced a smile and opened the passenger door, "Thanks for the lift."

"Hey," Severide called after him through the open car window, "What are you doing on Christmas Day?" he just shrugged in response, "Come spend it at ours."

"Maybe," he smiled eager to get inside the house, it was freezing cold and he wasn't wearing many layers.

He finally had the peace and quiet he'd wanted all afternoon. Socialising for the few hours he'd been at Herrmann's had been mentally exhausting. He woke up in the dark with a throbbing headache. His phone was ringing, he pulled it out his jeans pocket but it slipped from his grasp and landed on the floor, he reached blindly down for it, once it was in his grip he squinted down at the screen, it was an unknown number, he let it go to his voicemail, if it was a construction job enquiry, which he doubted because of the time, he could reply to it when he was fully conscious.

Slipping the phone back into his pocket he stood up but he immediately crashed down to his knees, catching himself with his arms outstretched as he landed heavily on the floor. The world was swaying madly around him, it felt like the floor was moving, shifting under his unsteady form. He tried to take some deep breaths but felt nauseous, worried his stomach was about to reject its contests he managed to scramble to the bathroom. The world slowly righted itself. He was stood gripping the sink, there were tears pouring down his face and he was still breathing heavily but the nausea had gone.

"I'm fine," he breathed, "I'm fine," he wiped the tears from his face, his breaths calmed, "I'm just tired," he traced the circles under his eyes, "I'm fine," he reached to the back his neck and felt the incision scar. It was scary, a scary reminder that he'd had his brain exposed on the operating table, a reminder of how close he had come to death. He suddenly felt the need to call his mum, a childish need he dismissed; the chance that she would pick up the phone was extremely unlikely.

He splashed his face with cold water, grabbed the hand towel and dried before stepping out of the bathroom. He picked up his phone, stared blankly at the screen for a moment before finalising his decision; the phone rang through to voicemail, "Erm… Hey, it's Casey… Oh, you'll know that from the caller ID, erm… I was only…"

 _"_ _Casey?"_ Severide's reply came through rushed as if he just struggled to get to his phone in time whilst it was ringing.

"Hi, sorry it's late…" he began lamely.

 _"_ _Are you ok?"_ Severide asked urgently.

"I'm fine, I just… I knew you were going out so I thought you'd be awake…" he replied.  
 _  
"_ _Hang on, I'm coming over,"_ and then the line went dead.

He hadn't expected that, he hadn't expected him to pick up but then why had he called? He might not have expected Severide to drop whatever he was doing and come over but deep down he had hoped for it, he was fed up of being by himself, despite only that afternoon wanting to be desperately be on his own. His emotions were a mess.

"Case?" he opened his eyes to discover Severide stood over him, "You call me at one in the morning, I come over and I find you've fallen asleep," Severide smirked, "I've brought DVDs, I can stay 'til seven."

"You're working tomorrow?" he asked blearily, "How do you work after going out at night?" he slurred as he sat up.

"Years of practice, you should try it," Severide grinned.

"No thanks," his vision cleared, "You can pick the film."

"Good," Severide smiled, "You realise I only brought ones that I'd wanna watch anyway, right?" Casey watched as he went over to the TV and sorted out the film, "Dawson busy?"

"I… I didn't call her; I knew you were going out so you'd be up late," he repeated his earlier explanation, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, you can tell me what's up though? Why'd you call?" Severide questioned.

"Think I'm just going stir crazy, need to get back to work," he smiled, "And I'm not rushing anything."

"Wasn't going to say anything," Severide replied.

Casey woke up to a note, 'You're a lightweight, you only made it ten minutes into the film, thanks for breakfast, you're out of juice.' He smiled, checked the time and wondered if he could catch Dawson in-between calls.

 _"_ _Hey, baby,"_ Dawson answered quickly.

"Hey, it's good to hear your voice, feel like we've not spoken for ages," he said.  
 _  
"_ _Yeah, I didn't catch you at Herrmann's little gathering? You weren't there long,"_ she questioned.

 _"_ Erm… no, Severide wanted to get back, he and Shay…" he began.  
 _  
"_ _Went out last night, I know, they're both exhausted, I don't know how they do it,"_ she said, he felt a stab of guilt for Severide's exhaustion.

"Thought you liked your nights out?" he smiled.

 _"Not as regularly as those two,"_ she replied, _"Anyway, how are you doing? Not too bored I hope?"_

"Well by this time in eight days I should be cleared for duty, I will no longer be bored and useless," he said enthusiastically.

 _"That's good, baby, I'm glad you're so positive… just don't pin all your hopes on getting cleared… if you don't you'll…"_ she spoke carefully.

"I'm sure I'll get cleared, I feel good, I'm ready to get back," he replied.

 _"I know,"_ she said, _"I just don't want you to be disappointed, that's all, anyway, I'm not working at Molly's tomorrow night, how about I come over?"_

"I could always come over to yours?" he asked.

 _"Your place is nicer,"_ she smiled.

"Mine it is then," he replied.

 **TBC**


End file.
